Cinco
Well-Known Member
I should say that I do not wish any harm or hate towards my mother, I love her but I just wish she would have been better. I just wanted to write this now because I've been spending so much time with her now and she is really getting to me so I just have to vent about it.
But it's too late now, she's too old and we're already grown adults trying to get ourselves back on lives track. Mom threw away all the oppertunities and privileges she got in her life for absolutely nothing, and it has ruined her and everyone around her.
I feel sorry for her but I don't know what to do and it makes me feel bad too
Mom has had 6 children with 4 different men, she have had custody over all of us and we grew up with steps dads or the dads of our siblings. None of us have gotten a good or healthy childhood.
Mom and my dad had been together since their teens, my dad sounded like the guy any woman would want, he was handsome, interesting, funny and strong. He came from the farm just across the road from the farm where mom grew up, they were neighbours and known eachother since they were kids. When dad was 19 his mother died and after that he drafted in the airforce and after a year or two joined UN forces in Lebanon. He partially stayed in contact wit mom via letters, what he wasn't aware of was that mom back home seeing another man. She had moved in with a guy she met at school while she was studying, they quickly got engaged and mom got pregnant, when she got pregnant she left him and returned to my dad as he came home who luckly chose to forgive her. They raised my oldest brother together and had 3 more children including me, they had their own house, dad and a well paying job and everything was almost perfect. During the 7 or so years they spent together, dad gradually lost his trust in mom to the point where he didn't even believe that I was his child, the reason for this loss of trust I do not know but I assume it had a lot to do with how mom was seeing another man while dad was stationed, maybe something happened that tore up old wounds but I don't know.
Soon after I was born she left and moved accross the country where she eventually met another man. He tok us in, helped us with everything and was such a great step dad, it's almost hard to believe how good of a person he was, not only that but he was a really talented carpenter and overall very handy. After being together for maybe 4 years they got together and bought a property, he got some friends together and we built a house for us all to live in. A year or so later things started going south, he felt like he had too little control over us kids, like he never felt like he was a part of the family. I don't know the whole story but they ended up splitting and selling the house. My mom then found another man, he wasn't really compareable to to the previous but he was kinda cool for us kids because he had lots of videogames and such. They had a kid together and after 3 years they split.
Mom then moved back home again, after some time living with us children alone and going through a very depressive period she met up with a man she had known from her childhood. We all moved in to his place, and after some time they had a kid aswell.
This is probably the worst relationship my mom has had and it affected us all because this is when all the fighting and drinking tok place. The guy she was together with was already a heavy drinker, and my mom having history of drinking quickly picked up on his habbit. Their relationship was on and off all the time, they were even married once but split only after some months. We moved at least once every two year and one year we moved a total of three times. During one of their "off" periods mom started dating some other guy, she moved in with him along with us but after a month they broke up and we were back to our old house again. This disaster of a relationship lasted about 10 years.
There is so much happening in between all of this but it would just be too much to write, but I hope this gives you a general understanding of what me and my siblings had to go through and especially how these experiences affected our young and developing minds.
What bothers me most is that I feel bad for my mom, when I see her sit in the sofa 50% of her day drinking beer and watching netflix I do honestly feel a bit sorry, but I know I shouldn't. She's been single for probably close to 10 years now, we children don't want to really be around her much anymore. She's annoying and constantly nags about things, like we're suppose to help her with every single aspect of her life or that we're suppose to just know how to do things etc. she's act so entitled and ignorant. If she wanted good children she should have raised us as good children and taught us things, not just dragged us around from man to man hoping we'd raise ourselves. But most importantly she should have taken care of those who tok care of her. Mom had at least 2 good men willing to be her husband despite her past mistakes, but she blew it. Something I bet every woman in the world could ever dream about and I feel like she threw it all away and for no real reason. I wish she would just have realized sooner that good men don't grow on trees, and there is only a limited number of dumb things you can do before it's enough for any man. She should have just married dad, then they would have inherited the farm and our family would have been good and healthy productive members of society, but no. I guess sleeping around, having untalented lazy children and living as a poor person was more important than a proper family, strong, talented children, an actual home and a career.
Mom and my dad had been together since their teens, my dad sounded like the guy any woman would want, he was handsome, interesting, funny and strong. He came from the farm just across the road from the farm where mom grew up, they were neighbours and known eachother since they were kids. When dad was 19 his mother died and after that he drafted in the airforce and after a year or two joined UN forces in Lebanon. He partially stayed in contact wit mom via letters, what he wasn't aware of was that mom back home seeing another man. She had moved in with a guy she met at school while she was studying, they quickly got engaged and mom got pregnant, when she got pregnant she left him and returned to my dad as he came home who luckly chose to forgive her. They raised my oldest brother together and had 3 more children including me, they had their own house, dad and a well paying job and everything was almost perfect. During the 7 or so years they spent together, dad gradually lost his trust in mom to the point where he didn't even believe that I was his child, the reason for this loss of trust I do not know but I assume it had a lot to do with how mom was seeing another man while dad was stationed, maybe something happened that tore up old wounds but I don't know.
Soon after I was born she left and moved accross the country where she eventually met another man. He tok us in, helped us with everything and was such a great step dad, it's almost hard to believe how good of a person he was, not only that but he was a really talented carpenter and overall very handy. After being together for maybe 4 years they got together and bought a property, he got some friends together and we built a house for us all to live in. A year or so later things started going south, he felt like he had too little control over us kids, like he never felt like he was a part of the family. I don't know the whole story but they ended up splitting and selling the house. My mom then found another man, he wasn't really compareable to to the previous but he was kinda cool for us kids because he had lots of videogames and such. They had a kid together and after 3 years they split.
Mom then moved back home again, after some time living with us children alone and going through a very depressive period she met up with a man she had known from her childhood. We all moved in to his place, and after some time they had a kid aswell.
This is probably the worst relationship my mom has had and it affected us all because this is when all the fighting and drinking tok place. The guy she was together with was already a heavy drinker, and my mom having history of drinking quickly picked up on his habbit. Their relationship was on and off all the time, they were even married once but split only after some months. We moved at least once every two year and one year we moved a total of three times. During one of their "off" periods mom started dating some other guy, she moved in with him along with us but after a month they broke up and we were back to our old house again. This disaster of a relationship lasted about 10 years.
There is so much happening in between all of this but it would just be too much to write, but I hope this gives you a general understanding of what me and my siblings had to go through and especially how these experiences affected our young and developing minds.
What bothers me most is that I feel bad for my mom, when I see her sit in the sofa 50% of her day drinking beer and watching netflix I do honestly feel a bit sorry, but I know I shouldn't. She's been single for probably close to 10 years now, we children don't want to really be around her much anymore. She's annoying and constantly nags about things, like we're suppose to help her with every single aspect of her life or that we're suppose to just know how to do things etc. she's act so entitled and ignorant. If she wanted good children she should have raised us as good children and taught us things, not just dragged us around from man to man hoping we'd raise ourselves. But most importantly she should have taken care of those who tok care of her. Mom had at least 2 good men willing to be her husband despite her past mistakes, but she blew it. Something I bet every woman in the world could ever dream about and I feel like she threw it all away and for no real reason. I wish she would just have realized sooner that good men don't grow on trees, and there is only a limited number of dumb things you can do before it's enough for any man. She should have just married dad, then they would have inherited the farm and our family would have been good and healthy productive members of society, but no. I guess sleeping around, having untalented lazy children and living as a poor person was more important than a proper family, strong, talented children, an actual home and a career.
But it's too late now, she's too old and we're already grown adults trying to get ourselves back on lives track. Mom threw away all the oppertunities and privileges she got in her life for absolutely nothing, and it has ruined her and everyone around her.
I feel sorry for her but I don't know what to do and it makes me feel bad too
