jelly.bean
New Member
On my post from the other night I was bringing up one of his symptoms that he wonders about, and someone asked what other symptoms he has. I asked my husband if he wanted me to make a separate post listing all of his symptoms to get some input from you guys and he said he did. He was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, but some things about him don't match ADD. So we'll make a list of things to see what you all think. It's gonna be long so if you're up for it, here it goes:
Things that seem like he could have A.D.D. (but may also fit an aspergers diagnosis):
- he can be very disorganized
- distracted easily
- forgetful (forgets where he left things if he doesn't leave them in the same spot every time)
- chaotic mind
Things that he does that don't match A.D.D., but do sound like possible aspergers:
- he is extremely smart. Sometimes it takes him a bit longer to learn things, but once he does, he knows it inside and out and has "mastered" it, as he says
he tested into a "gifted" school when he was young, and everyone who knows him sees his as super smart. At work he often thinks of things outside the box that no one else has thought of, and he thinks differently than a lot of people when he solves problems and learns things. He's often able to finish projects way faster than people think is possible.
- he has a very analytical mind. Loves to analyze anything interesting.
- he can sometimes "obsess" over a topic. Like I can tell if he's not going to hear me, because I can tell when his mind is way too focused on something else like a videogame or something he's trying to solve. It's difficult to get him to talk about or really focus on a new topic when his mind is still way too excited about a different topic.
- uses his hands a LOT when he is talking about things. Maybe not an ASD thing, but figured I'd mention it.
- when he was young, he had a hard time figuring out people. He created imaginary friends in his mind to basically role play how social situations work. They became tulpas (an imaginary person in your mind that you can switch places with) and they helped him feel more comfortable around people. He is a lot better at dealing with people now because he had so much help from his tulpas growing up, and he still has them and uses them if necessary. He still does have a hard time knowing what to do if a social situation comes up that he's never been able to analyze before. But he is pretty "natural" with other people now, even though he can be a bit kiddish at times, which sometimes throws others off.
- has a very detailed inner world, many of his tulpas have life stories and he used to have a whole island in his mind where his characters lived and had jobs, etc. It has been dwindling off as he's gotten older and as he's been finding less and less use for them, but it was very busy til about his mid-twenties.
- he talks the same way to anyone who talks like an adult. In other words, young kids, he talks to differently. But if he talks to a 9+ year old who's able to talk basically like an adult, he talks to them like an adult. He also talks to everyone the exact same way as he does with me, his wife . The only difference is what he talks about (doesn't share much personal info with others). He also doesn't say things to others that would be inappropriate to say to someone who wasn't his wife (like he wouldn't tell someone else they were sexy, but he'll tell me). But the way he acts and talks with people is always the same, if that makes sense. Kids usually really like this because he's kiddish in the way and he likes to have fun, and he treats kids like they're adults, so he doesn't talk to them like they're dumb.
- sometimes he can be a bit louder than he realizes (but this may be just because he naturally has a voice that carries and may not have anything to do with Aspergers). But for example sometimes he'll talk way too loud right next to me, or he'll whisper louder than he realizes.
- he's always been different than others and done his own thing. His parents said that he was always eccentric even as a kid.
- when he was in college he was worried that he was a psychopath. He said it was because he felt like it was odd how unattached he was to anyone. He has a hard time keeping relationships going. Like if someone moves away, he will never call or text them to catch up. Mainly because he forgets and also because he can easily detach from people. We can't tell though if this is because he had lots of experiences growing up where friends would ditch him and he was a loner a lot, so he may have just learned to not get attached to people. He does have a memory of crying because a friend had stopped talking to him when he was a kid, so he did used to get attached to friends. Now he is attached to me and our kid though, and to his parents and his sister, but that's about it.
- doesn't have many sensitivities, but he did say that when he was a kid, and still now, he does not like pajamas at all.
Things that may not be related to either:
- he is not impulsive
- he was very sensitive (emotionally) as a kid but is the opposite now
- has bad long term memory (this bothers him, as he can't remember a lot of his childhood, and what he can remember is usually attached to something bad that happened).
- what I brought up in the other post about his instantly forgetting details about people, when he first meets them, even if he tries hard to remember (things like their name, where they work, how many kids they have, etc.)
So it's hard to tell because he is pretty good with people now, but he had to teach himself with imaginary friends how people work. So it didn't come naturally to him, and he had to kind of train himself. Analyzing and studying things, and training himself to be better at things is a big part of his personality, so we're not sure if because he worked so hard at it, and had help from his tulpas, if that's why he fairs well with people now.
If you made it through this whole thing, bravo! Sorry it was so long, I just wanted to put lots of details.
So if you had to guess if he has it, what would you guess on a scale of 1-10 (1 meaning he definitely does NOT have it, 10 meaning he definitely DOES have it). If you could give reasons why, that would help a lot too!
Hopefully you guys can give us some input because he's been feeling like Aspergers makes more sense than ADD and sees a lot of himself in our son who we're having tested for aspergers. Thank you for any input you all have. He may get clinically diagnosed eventually if he wants to take that step, but for now, he just wanted some input from you all. Thanks!
Things that seem like he could have A.D.D. (but may also fit an aspergers diagnosis):
- he can be very disorganized
- distracted easily
- forgetful (forgets where he left things if he doesn't leave them in the same spot every time)
- chaotic mind
Things that he does that don't match A.D.D., but do sound like possible aspergers:
- he is extremely smart. Sometimes it takes him a bit longer to learn things, but once he does, he knows it inside and out and has "mastered" it, as he says
he tested into a "gifted" school when he was young, and everyone who knows him sees his as super smart. At work he often thinks of things outside the box that no one else has thought of, and he thinks differently than a lot of people when he solves problems and learns things. He's often able to finish projects way faster than people think is possible.- he has a very analytical mind. Loves to analyze anything interesting.
- he can sometimes "obsess" over a topic. Like I can tell if he's not going to hear me, because I can tell when his mind is way too focused on something else like a videogame or something he's trying to solve. It's difficult to get him to talk about or really focus on a new topic when his mind is still way too excited about a different topic.
- uses his hands a LOT when he is talking about things. Maybe not an ASD thing, but figured I'd mention it.
- when he was young, he had a hard time figuring out people. He created imaginary friends in his mind to basically role play how social situations work. They became tulpas (an imaginary person in your mind that you can switch places with) and they helped him feel more comfortable around people. He is a lot better at dealing with people now because he had so much help from his tulpas growing up, and he still has them and uses them if necessary. He still does have a hard time knowing what to do if a social situation comes up that he's never been able to analyze before. But he is pretty "natural" with other people now, even though he can be a bit kiddish at times, which sometimes throws others off.
- has a very detailed inner world, many of his tulpas have life stories and he used to have a whole island in his mind where his characters lived and had jobs, etc. It has been dwindling off as he's gotten older and as he's been finding less and less use for them, but it was very busy til about his mid-twenties.
- he talks the same way to anyone who talks like an adult. In other words, young kids, he talks to differently. But if he talks to a 9+ year old who's able to talk basically like an adult, he talks to them like an adult. He also talks to everyone the exact same way as he does with me, his wife . The only difference is what he talks about (doesn't share much personal info with others). He also doesn't say things to others that would be inappropriate to say to someone who wasn't his wife (like he wouldn't tell someone else they were sexy, but he'll tell me). But the way he acts and talks with people is always the same, if that makes sense. Kids usually really like this because he's kiddish in the way and he likes to have fun, and he treats kids like they're adults, so he doesn't talk to them like they're dumb.
- sometimes he can be a bit louder than he realizes (but this may be just because he naturally has a voice that carries and may not have anything to do with Aspergers). But for example sometimes he'll talk way too loud right next to me, or he'll whisper louder than he realizes.
- he's always been different than others and done his own thing. His parents said that he was always eccentric even as a kid.
- when he was in college he was worried that he was a psychopath. He said it was because he felt like it was odd how unattached he was to anyone. He has a hard time keeping relationships going. Like if someone moves away, he will never call or text them to catch up. Mainly because he forgets and also because he can easily detach from people. We can't tell though if this is because he had lots of experiences growing up where friends would ditch him and he was a loner a lot, so he may have just learned to not get attached to people. He does have a memory of crying because a friend had stopped talking to him when he was a kid, so he did used to get attached to friends. Now he is attached to me and our kid though, and to his parents and his sister, but that's about it.
- doesn't have many sensitivities, but he did say that when he was a kid, and still now, he does not like pajamas at all.
Things that may not be related to either:
- he is not impulsive
- he was very sensitive (emotionally) as a kid but is the opposite now
- has bad long term memory (this bothers him, as he can't remember a lot of his childhood, and what he can remember is usually attached to something bad that happened).
- what I brought up in the other post about his instantly forgetting details about people, when he first meets them, even if he tries hard to remember (things like their name, where they work, how many kids they have, etc.)
So it's hard to tell because he is pretty good with people now, but he had to teach himself with imaginary friends how people work. So it didn't come naturally to him, and he had to kind of train himself. Analyzing and studying things, and training himself to be better at things is a big part of his personality, so we're not sure if because he worked so hard at it, and had help from his tulpas, if that's why he fairs well with people now.
If you made it through this whole thing, bravo! Sorry it was so long, I just wanted to put lots of details.
So if you had to guess if he has it, what would you guess on a scale of 1-10 (1 meaning he definitely does NOT have it, 10 meaning he definitely DOES have it). If you could give reasons why, that would help a lot too!
Hopefully you guys can give us some input because he's been feeling like Aspergers makes more sense than ADD and sees a lot of himself in our son who we're having tested for aspergers. Thank you for any input you all have. He may get clinically diagnosed eventually if he wants to take that step, but for now, he just wanted some input from you all. Thanks!
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