My history of delusions

[Oz67]

Delusions that I had I my childhood and before severe psychological highs and lows:

* Delusion that no one has facial expressions until I was 16 years old

* Delusion that I murdered a 5 year old child when I was 4 years old and once sexually touched a 10 year old when I was seven years old

Delusion after severe psychological highs and lows:

* Delusion that corrupted CIA, MP and SWAT were following me everywhere I went, and that there was police brutality all over the world.

* Delusion that I was working for the military to find aliens

* Delusion that I sometimes download certain type of porn for five years until age 20.


Most of those delusions that I had were non-bizzare.

 

[Crossbreed]

Do you have a psychiatrist & counselor that can help you with that stuff?

 

[Oz67]

Yes, I have a psychiatrist and a school psychologist, but I notice that my school psychologist doesn't understand psychiatric terminologies. The only people that understand psychiatry better is my psychiatrist and therapists.

I used to go to therapy, but it became too expensive, but I might find another therapist.

 

[Judge]

Yes, I have a psychiatrist and a school psychologist, but I notice that my school psychologist doesn't understand psychiatric terminologies. The only people that understand psychiatry better is my psychiatrist and therapists.

I used to go to therapy, but it became too expensive, but I might find another therapist.

Sounds like your specific issues may professionally lie beyond the realm of a psychologist or therapist.

 

[Oz67]

Sounds like your specific issues may professionally lie beyond the realm of a psychologist or therapist.

I agree. I am not delusional anymore, but I still feel severely mentally disturbed and have tendencies of PTSD, it was very traumatic experience.

 

[Judge]

I agree. I am not delusional anymore, but I still feel severely mentally disturbed and have tendencies of PTSD, it was very traumatic experience.

I can relate. My doctor took some real effort to once explain to me how my OCD was largely a manifestation of a series of traumas that all occurred in the same year.

How Trauma-Related OCD Can Be Treated

 

[Matthias]

Delusions that I had I my childhood and before severe psychological highs and lows:

* Delusion that no one has facial expressions until I was 16 years old

* Delusion that I murdered a 5 year old child when I was 4 years old and once sexually touched a 10 year old when I was seven years old

Delusion after severe psychological highs and lows:

* Delusion that corrupted CIA, MP and SWAT were following me everywhere I went, and that there was police brutality all over the world.

* Delusion that I was working for the military to find aliens (Once committed a bettary assault when I had those delusions, no charges were filed against me)

* Delusion that I sometimes download CP for five years until age 20.


Most of those delusions that I had were non-bizzare.

I notice two common themes in the delusions you mentioned:

1. Need for social connection - Having a delusion that you touched someone and were working on a team (military) may be your mind's way of telling you that you're too alone and need to find a friend, partner, or somewhere where you feel like you belong. The delusion may have involved a child because you had more positive experiences with children compared to adults.

2. Negative perceptions of people - Delusions that involve murder and corrupt government agents may result from your mind's imagination influenced by your negative experiences with people.

Those two themes are definitely related and quite common. Negative experiences and perceptions of people will affect the emotions you feel around other people. Those emotions will affect how you interpret people's behavior. Negative misinterpretations will cause you to perceive your interactions more negatively since you feel worse around them which will reinforce any negative perceptions you have of people. It's a vicious cycle that can result in worsening opinions and experiences with people that make it increasingly difficult to find friends or feel like you belong.

Social isolation is a well known risk factor for a variety of emotional problems. People with good mental health suffered from delusions, hallucinations, or depression during experiments to test the effects of social isolation. Therapy, such as CBT, can help you identify and change unhealthy or maladaptive beliefs you formed as a result of negative experiences with people that prevent you from feeling better around people. If you can't afford therapy, there a books available or you can learn some of the basics of CBT for free on various websites. Focus on beliefs about yourself or other people that hinder your ability to feel closer to people.

 

[Oz67]

I notice two common themes in the delusions you mentioned:

1. Need for social connection - Having a delusion that you touched someone and were working on a team (military) may be your mind's way of telling you that you're too alone and need to find a friend, partner, or somewhere where you feel like you belong. The delusion may have involved a child because you had more positive experiences with children compared to adults.

2. Negative perceptions of people - Delusions that involve murder and corrupt government agents may result from your mind's imagination influenced by your negative experiences with people.

Those two themes are definitely related and quite common. Negative experiences and perceptions of people will affect the emotions you feel around other people. Those emotions will affect how you interpret people's behavior. Negative misinterpretations will cause you to perceive your interactions more negatively since you feel worse around them which will reinforce any negative perceptions you have of people. It's a vicious cycle that can result in worsening opinions and experiences with people that make it increasingly difficult to find friends or feel like you belong.

Social isolation is a well known risk factor for a variety of emotional problems. People with good mental health suffered from delusions, hallucinations, or depression during experiments to test the effects of social isolation. Therapy, such as CBT, can help you identify and change unhealthy or maladaptive beliefs you formed as a result of negative experiences with people that prevent you from feeling better around people. If you can't afford therapy, there a books available or you can learn some of the basics of CBT for free on various websites. Focus on beliefs about yourself or other people that hinder your ability to feel closer to people.

That definitely makes sense.

The lack of social connection and negative experiences with others can cause delusional episodes.

 

[Oz67]

I notice two common themes in the delusions you mentioned:

1. Need for social connection - Having a delusion that you touched someone and were working on a team (military) may be your mind's way of telling you that you're too alone and need to find a friend, partner, or somewhere where you feel like you belong. The delusion may have involved a child because you had more positive experiences with children compared to adults.

2. Negative perceptions of people - Delusions that involve murder and corrupt government agents may result from your mind's imagination influenced by your negative experiences with people.

Those two themes are definitely related and quite common. Negative experiences and perceptions of people will affect the emotions you feel around other people. Those emotions will affect how you interpret people's behavior. Negative misinterpretations will cause you to perceive your interactions more negatively since you feel worse around them which will reinforce any negative perceptions you have of people. It's a vicious cycle that can result in worsening opinions and experiences with people that make it increasingly difficult to find friends or feel like you belong.

Social isolation is a well known risk factor for a variety of emotional problems. People with good mental health suffered from delusions, hallucinations, or depression during experiments to test the effects of social isolation. Therapy, such as CBT, can help you identify and change unhealthy or maladaptive beliefs you formed as a result of negative experiences with people that prevent you from feeling better around people. If you can't afford therapy, there a books available or you can learn some of the basics of CBT for free on various websites. Focus on beliefs about yourself or other people that hinder your ability to feel closer to people.

When I was in elementary school, I was bullied by being called "Stupid" and a "Loser" for lacking social skills, I felt so irritated, started developing suicidal ideations, and homicidal ideations, and sometimes feel like most is plotting against me after having that experience.

 

[Matthias]

When I was in elementary school, I was bullied by being called "Stupid" and a "Loser" for lacking social skills, I felt so irritated, started developing suicidal ideations, and homicidal ideations, and sometimes feel like most is plotting against me after having that experience.

Sorry to hear about that. One thing I learned is that many people say stuff like that without thinking much about it. They just see someone whose behavior is different or who doesn't understand something they do and call them names without really meaning much by it. Another thing I learned is that the intensity of the emotions people experience varies based on how important something is to them. The most intense emotions people experience usually occur due to being rejected or excluded because the need to belong is very strong.

I really hope you find some people who accept you or find somewhere where you can feel like you belong. Most stress comes from emotions that result from negative thinking. Once I got into a habit of thinking positively about myself and other people, it made interacting with people easier and resulted in more positive experiences with other people.

 

[Oz67]

I used to have Fregoli delusion in the past, but I was still self-aware that it was a fixed false belief. How is if possible that I hallucinated that everyone is the same person, but was aware that it is false?

 

[Slime_Punk]

I think that's the difference between hallucinations and delusions; you can have one without the other, or both at the same time. It sounds like you had a hallucination without said delusion.

 

[Oz67]

I think that's the difference between hallucinations and delusions; you can have one without the other, or both at the same time. It sounds like you had a hallucination without said delusion.

That makes sense.

 

[Oz67]

I see the world in a very dark and twisted way, I am scared! I wonder if this is derealization, because I don't understand what is real anymore.