I realize I've recently spoken I'll of my stepfather, whose online handle is "Maddog" though you may also know him as Charles.
I've tried to change the tone about him several times on this site,
But the truth really is, and I will not lie, his bark is worse than his bite.
So it's with this poem set to Charlie Daniel's, the tune of "Wooley Swamp"
I just hope to God you can change your mind after this one-right-sided talk.
It was three in the A.M. morning when I heard the sounds of battle,
My foggy eyes had widened see old Maddog making them rattle,
The men that fought in the Chinese wars, they flew and they bounced away,
With a button mash here and a trigger there, his character was savin' the day.
Then he turned to me and said "Look here, son, I got us a whole library,
Everything from slaying sky-high dragons to the story of a boy with a fairy...
I'm pretty worn out right about now, so I'm gonna lay down for a nap."
It was then I hoped to God that his rest wouldn't spring a worded trap...
So I waited and sat on the hickory couch and watched as he conquered lands,
Then the time did come for his body to stop, and put down a lay on hands.
He turned back to me and said "Son, my boy, your free to play these spoils, but I'm warnin' you now, when I doze on off, you better not make no noise...
Cause even when I'm way down under, there's one thing I still can do,
I can hear the sounds you make in there, and if I roar then I'm comin' for you."
Now Maddog here, has a heart of gold, but its buried under walls of clay,
And one sure thing I remember bout him is he hates the light of day,
So while he'd take two bullets and three freight trains just to save his son and daughter,
He's tough as steel cause once he was dead, but he came back breathing water.
So I sat down and played on our own arcade, just tending to myself,
When he suddenly coughed and snarled aloft about something falling off our shelf...
Then for a short time, he was half awake and asked for his morning drink,
So I poured his juice and sat it near, but I didn't know what to think...
Cause just right then, he fell back asleep with a face of "Do not Disturb"
So I went right back and kept on driving my car up and down the curb.
But he's still asleep, so he's able to hear, and I hope I don't make him wake,
Cause he said he'd eat me well alive if I dared make something shake.
And this man right here, my father and dad, he don't always tell you a lie,
But when comes to eatin' a soul he's beaten, the truth is thicker than rye.
Now remember I said old Maddog here's got a heart of plated gold,
But set him off on the wrong night hour and he'll make your insides fold...
He ain't no evil but he ain't no saint, so just take my hand to God,
He's the only daddy I'll ever have, but he'll gladly spare the rod.
I've tried to change the tone about him several times on this site,
But the truth really is, and I will not lie, his bark is worse than his bite.
So it's with this poem set to Charlie Daniel's, the tune of "Wooley Swamp"
I just hope to God you can change your mind after this one-right-sided talk.
It was three in the A.M. morning when I heard the sounds of battle,
My foggy eyes had widened see old Maddog making them rattle,
The men that fought in the Chinese wars, they flew and they bounced away,
With a button mash here and a trigger there, his character was savin' the day.
Then he turned to me and said "Look here, son, I got us a whole library,
Everything from slaying sky-high dragons to the story of a boy with a fairy...
I'm pretty worn out right about now, so I'm gonna lay down for a nap."
It was then I hoped to God that his rest wouldn't spring a worded trap...
So I waited and sat on the hickory couch and watched as he conquered lands,
Then the time did come for his body to stop, and put down a lay on hands.
He turned back to me and said "Son, my boy, your free to play these spoils, but I'm warnin' you now, when I doze on off, you better not make no noise...
Cause even when I'm way down under, there's one thing I still can do,
I can hear the sounds you make in there, and if I roar then I'm comin' for you."
Now Maddog here, has a heart of gold, but its buried under walls of clay,
And one sure thing I remember bout him is he hates the light of day,
So while he'd take two bullets and three freight trains just to save his son and daughter,
He's tough as steel cause once he was dead, but he came back breathing water.
So I sat down and played on our own arcade, just tending to myself,
When he suddenly coughed and snarled aloft about something falling off our shelf...
Then for a short time, he was half awake and asked for his morning drink,
So I poured his juice and sat it near, but I didn't know what to think...
Cause just right then, he fell back asleep with a face of "Do not Disturb"
So I went right back and kept on driving my car up and down the curb.
But he's still asleep, so he's able to hear, and I hope I don't make him wake,
Cause he said he'd eat me well alive if I dared make something shake.
And this man right here, my father and dad, he don't always tell you a lie,
But when comes to eatin' a soul he's beaten, the truth is thicker than rye.
Now remember I said old Maddog here's got a heart of plated gold,
But set him off on the wrong night hour and he'll make your insides fold...
He ain't no evil but he ain't no saint, so just take my hand to God,
He's the only daddy I'll ever have, but he'll gladly spare the rod.
