My father died. Given our condition how would you deal with a sudden unexpected loss like that? I was so overwhelmed with stress and di

[Cmack]

My father died. Given our condition how would you deal with a sudden unexpected loss like that? I was so overwhelmed with stress. I don’t know what I’m going to do to get through this. Suggestions please

 

[lunarious]

There are 1) practical sides of this happening. Otherwise there are 2) the spiritual and emotional social aspects.

Your tears to your father, whom passed away or my condolonces won't help him. But we can Pray. If you must cry, you can do that i suppose.

 

[Rodafina]

This is very sad, @Cmack.

I think, as much as you can, it’s time to focus on yourself. It might help to spend time figuring out your feelings in a way that works for you. People grieve in all different ways and I would suggest absolving yourself from any “shoulds” right now (I should feel this… I should do that…).

Such a big loss will likely take time to process and it’s important to be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to grieve.

If you need support from others, don’t be afraid to reach out, but if you want space from them, it’s okay to ask for that, too. Just keep breathing and take things one moment at a time.

 

[Aspychata]

That can be very upsetting that he was taken away so fast. So sorry for this huge loss in your life. If you want, make a small tribute to him, maybe his picture, and sit down and let your feelings out. Can't imagine the amount of feelings you are going thru. Can you journal your thoughts of stress, sadness, shock right now. And journal the memories of him? @Rodafina
has some excellent tips. It's okay to come to this forum to workout these feelings.

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I just went about my regular business mom died, years ago dad died five years later brother a few years after. took time to absorb no grieving at time. Close to going myself few months after brother stroke out of body experience
really changed my view of death. Found myself with understanding it via physics, including message what you seek is information really opened my eyes. Fear of my own death gone.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I'm sorry for your loss. It is especially difficult when it is sudden and unexpected. Give yourself lots of time to figure it out. No one can do it all at once.

 

[Rocco]

That sucks! I am sorry for your loss.
I would suggest allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel, and as mentioned above, do not allow yourself to be tied to any type of “should do/feel this or that” thinking.

Process the loss in your own time and on your own terms. There is no right or wrong feelings in a situation like this, let yourself feel whatever comes. Also, don’t forget to take care of yourself while grieving, try to remember to eat, clean, and do chores/ tasks as normal.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My dad passed while I was on my own time staycation, said nothing when I went back to work did not ask for bereavement leave. No one else's business.

 

[RemyZee]

Sorry to hear about that. It can be so hard to lose a parent, especially if it wasn't expected. I would say try to find ways to remember him with meaningful rituals, and let your space have things that remind you of him--I remember when my father died I had a tube of his chapstick that I was putting on his lips when he was dying....seemed like the only thing I could do because he was breathing so hard his lips got complete chapped. I kept it for months, carried it around in my pocket. Also the rituals. Even if you have to make up your own they're important. But having objects, things you can have in your pocket, things he gave you. But also expect to be a bit numb or completely numb..., you may ask yourself why you aren't crying or why you don't feel sad. As an autistic person, it's also so important to be very conscious and guard your alone time if you are one of those who will have lots of family show up. The stress is real, it may last for a long time, and you may be surrounded by activity for a while. But sorry to hear you are going through this.

 

[Chonebox]

I"m sorry for your loss.

 

[SusanLR]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I thought I would never get through the loss of my mom. Emotionally I never will.
Getting on with what had to be done in life was what forced me to face things I thought I never could. I had never lived alone and had no other family.
Focusing on what I had to do in the material world gave me strength I never thought I had. Where and how to live? Doing everything on my own now.
It wasn't easy.

Your emotional loss needs to be taken one day at a time. Don't worry how long it takes. It will all be on your own terms.

 

[Chonebox]

Sorry for your loss.