Hi all...im..not sure if this is the right area, pls let me know if it isnt. Ok. Thing is, i live with my mom and dad (no problems there, i love them both and we're very close) but...our landlord is a very sick, scary man (u wouldnt believe some of the things...) and he is evicting us. HOWever, since we obey the law, made NO damages and pay rent, he has no legal ground to. But we decided to move anyway, to get out of this bad situation...but..even tho i CAN see this as a good thing in the long run...it is affecting me HEAVILY. I DO NOT DO CHANGE. At least not easily...i am very upset, stressed and near a freak out point with anxiety. Its just...such a huge thing! I feel hopelessly overwhelmed and confused as to how i can cope...and i need to, cuz when i can cope, i can help. I need, always have needed, to take things in small bites. Like on a list...going from one thing to the next...but if the list is TOO long...ugh...! I just dont know how to deal with this...any advice on how i can par this whole process into digestable bite-size pieces, so to speak? Also...i am officially diagnosed aspi, but i also have anxiety & depression issues...lol...how fun, right? Anyway...any advice, or even just encouragement...would be SO WONDERFUL. ...thank u for taking the time to read this. ....OH. one last thing/element. I have been VERY needy of my friends lately..one aspi friend said he needed time away from me...in a nice, but clear way..it made me sad, but i did understand. Is this...neediness..part of the stress of this move? Ive always had stress...but this is new. Any thoughts on this WILL be appreciated...(ugh this is long...sorry :/)
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Moving...
- Thread starter keiyu
- Start date
Voltekka_MK3
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I understand you're stressed since it seems you are quite an anxious person and it also seems like you really dislike change because its something you're not used to.
But may i ask a couple of things?
Are you more of a shut-in type of person?
Do you have problems going to appointments or going to the shop?
Anyway breathe slowly up to 5 and try to calm down. Even if your failing keep doing it.
But anyway the only real advice i can so offer so far is this.
What's scaring you/making you anxious of moving? Is there anything particular on your mind that is causing this?
You need to observe yourself and ask yourself "What's scaring me?" and "Why is it scaring me?".
Currently i know very little of what you're saying and its very difficult to give advice.
But may i ask a couple of things?
Are you more of a shut-in type of person?
Do you have problems going to appointments or going to the shop?
Anyway breathe slowly up to 5 and try to calm down. Even if your failing keep doing it.
But anyway the only real advice i can so offer so far is this.
What's scaring you/making you anxious of moving? Is there anything particular on your mind that is causing this?
You need to observe yourself and ask yourself "What's scaring me?" and "Why is it scaring me?".
Currently i know very little of what you're saying and its very difficult to give advice.
That's good advice. Like Voltekka said, try and metaphorically stand back on your self and analyse the situation as it was another person.
Why is this person stressed ? What makes them afraid and then why ?
Take time to breathe, deeply and slowly. It helps, I know ! I've had to do it myself a lot.
Talk to your parents, explain you are feeling stressed and anxious. If they know how you are feeling maybe they can help you ?
Why is this person stressed ? What makes them afraid and then why ?
Take time to breathe, deeply and slowly. It helps, I know ! I've had to do it myself a lot.
Talk to your parents, explain you are feeling stressed and anxious. If they know how you are feeling maybe they can help you ?
Very shut in. Leaving the house gives me anxiety. I think cuz of SOCIAL anxiety and, like...information overload i think. All the sights, sounds, PEOPLE..im hyper-aware/sensitive of it all. and..ppl in general just drive me CRAZY. i mean, i can do some things...and i seem normal...but im veeeryy unconfortable in town or other public places. as far as whats scaring me...its that its such a BIIG change and process...all the things u gotta do...all the details
..i think about it in my head and the list looks ENDLESS, tho i know there IS an end. And ive never dealt with change well...its just...im not sure why yet. I heard it is an aspi trait. Im looking to learn more about it, and other things here. And...thank u for ur kind support
ur a stranger and yet feel compassion for another (stressed-out, lol) stranger. Thankee oh...and i realize i may be a little confusing. Any questions u may have, fire away
..i think about it in my head and the list looks ENDLESS, tho i know there IS an end. And ive never dealt with change well...its just...im not sure why yet. I heard it is an aspi trait. Im looking to learn more about it, and other things here. And...thank u for ur kind support
ur a stranger and yet feel compassion for another (stressed-out, lol) stranger. Thankee oh...and i realize i may be a little confusing. Any questions u may have, fire away 
May Black
Well-Known Member
How about you try writing the whole list of tings you need to do, leave enough space between line. Decide how may days you want to spend doing whatever needs to be done, then divide your list by drawing lines between the tasks. Lets say you have 36 points on your list and a week to do them, you can do 7 things every day and 8 things the last day. You can even cut the list in pieces and only have the one for the specific day at hand. Try to detach yourself emotionally when writing the list if it stresses you.
Try focusing on practicalities and focus on one thing at a time. If you have problems structuring it yourself, maybe your parents could help you with that.
You're not confusing at all, moving is stressful for everyone, even us NT.
I'll be moving myself in a month and need to start packing and all. I can feel the stress sneaking up on me.
Try focusing on practicalities and focus on one thing at a time. If you have problems structuring it yourself, maybe your parents could help you with that.
You're not confusing at all, moving is stressful for everyone, even us NT.
I'll be moving myself in a month and need to start packing and all. I can feel the stress sneaking up on me.
Thank you...i have learned some breathing exercises and coping skills..but executing them effectively is...another thing. I will keep trying tho i think part of this is that i lost a dearly loved pet...it was months ago...i still miss her but ok since she was well loved, happy..and...went peacefully. But she was my buddy and therapy dog in stressful times
..and now...i dont have her...but...i do keep trying. And i am very open with my folks...were very tight and try to help eachother where we can however, my mom is kinda the "rock" of our house, managing things me and my dad cant, and shes kinda maxed out. and my dad works alot..and OVER worries if i express MY worries too much...I have to be aware of his mental health, as well...so yeaah..its..tough right now. I need..to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel i think...maybe if i direct my focus on THAT, i can...be helpful to my folks? ..but i am feeling more relaxed now i stress fairly easily, but can be de-stressed fairly easily as well...by kindness and encouragement
i think part of this is that i lost a dearly loved pet...it was months ago...i still miss her but ok since she was well loved, happy..and...went peacefully. But she was my buddy and therapy dog in stressful times..and now...i dont have her...but...i do keep trying. And i am very open with my folks...were very tight and try to help eachother where we can
however, my mom is kinda the "rock" of our house, managing things me and my dad cant, and shes kinda maxed out. and my dad works alot..and OVER worries if i express MY worries too much...I have to be aware of his mental health, as well...so yeaah..its..tough right now. I need..to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel i think...maybe if i direct my focus on THAT, i can...be helpful to my folks? ..but i am feeling more relaxed now i stress fairly easily, but can be de-stressed fairly easily as well...by kindness and encouragement Voltekka_MK3
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I see so your situation very clearly. If i am correct when you feel like going outside it feels like so much information is overflowing and you feel as if you'll lose control and go berserk or do something bad because there are way too many people and it feels like you have a lot of pressure when you go outside due to the amount of information.
What i am going to try to suggest you do is everyday, go outside of your house ( I know this will be highly difficult at first ) and walk to the nearest car you see and then go back home.
Evaluate how you felt and see if there was anything that happened when you were outside. Then try to walk even further then you did before and repeat. I know that this may sound very impossible to you but trust me once you get used to the outside world you'll be a lot better. It will be a very loooong journey but the mind takes longer to heal. After you feel confident walking around outside try to go to the shop.
Keep asking yourself and questioning yourself what is happening around you and eventually you should be confident enough to walk on your own to the shop.
What i am going to try to suggest you do is everyday, go outside of your house ( I know this will be highly difficult at first ) and walk to the nearest car you see and then go back home.
Evaluate how you felt and see if there was anything that happened when you were outside. Then try to walk even further then you did before and repeat. I know that this may sound very impossible to you but trust me once you get used to the outside world you'll be a lot better. It will be a very loooong journey but the mind takes longer to heal. After you feel confident walking around outside try to go to the shop.
Keep asking yourself and questioning yourself what is happening around you and eventually you should be confident enough to walk on your own to the shop.
Voltekka, that is good advice..but i...live in the country...its the wilderville/wonder area near GP, but my friends call it "wondersticks"(...and play finger banjos at us cuz we're SOO far out, lol.) Lol...HOWEVER...i visit my sis fairly often, and she lives in town...so i will give that a try next time im over there but there is also the simple fact that i am...LESS THAN FOND of the general human populace..as a whole, i find them...unpleasant, selfish and rude. I kno good ones exist but...they are hard to find. But i was told once, why should i give ppl the power over me to make ME feel unpleasant just cuz THEYRE unpleasant. I understand, but have a hard time practicing the idea....im like a sponge...lol e.e
but there is also the simple fact that i am...LESS THAN FOND of the general human populace..as a whole, i find them...unpleasant, selfish and rude. I kno good ones exist but...they are hard to find. But i was told once, why should i give ppl the power over me to make ME feel unpleasant just cuz THEYRE unpleasant. I understand, but have a hard time practicing the idea....im like a sponge...lol e.eAand may black...thank u! Very practical advice. I will try that, and have my mom read ur post as well. She may find it helpful too ps...what is an nt? I should know this..no...dont say thst, caitlin...i was told not to say should...cuz its just "should-ing on urself"...lol, funny but true, just give it some thought if u dont understand 
ps...what is an nt? I should know this..no...dont say thst, caitlin...i was told not to say should...cuz its just "should-ing on urself"...lol, funny but true, just give it some thought if u dont understand Voltekka_MK3
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keiyu Yeah i kind of dislike most of the populace as well and over the years i have become a very cold and indifferent person that doesn't feel anything which to be honest i am absolutely fine with but if i meet a nice/good person or an interesting and intelligent group of people (This forum is great 
) I will converse peacefully and openly without any hostility.
But you have to get used to talking to these people and exchanging a few words because when you go to a job, how are people supposed to communicate with you? Its a very important aspect of life by being able to communicate with people, even if you don't like them.
) I will converse peacefully and openly without any hostility.But you have to get used to talking to these people and exchanging a few words because when you go to a job, how are people supposed to communicate with you? Its a very important aspect of life by being able to communicate with people, even if you don't like them.
May Black
Well-Known Member
Glad it was of help.Aand may black...thank u! Very practical advice. I will try that, and have my mom read ur post as well. She may find it helpful too
NT = neurologically typical
It's not something you are supposed to or need to know, but it's a term that you'll come across quite a bit around the forums.
Neurotypical - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Im actually quite talkative and easy to talk to...ONCE ive found someone i like and/or feel i can trust, at least a little. And im not too worried about a job...im trying...well something (ugh, vague-ness, sorry...) as well as an etsy business eventually..but yes, conversation is important. I do manage...but im also not afraid to say, bye! And start walking away if it goes too long...my problem is that the dislike of people, and their in general ucky-ness is like
..a poison on me. It affects my mood negativy, even long after ive gone home. Maybe...i need to find a way to de-sensitize myself to bad ppl...
..a poison on me. It affects my mood negativy, even long after ive gone home. Maybe...i need to find a way to de-sensitize myself to bad ppl...
i gotta go for now...my kitty is actually sleeping with me (dont u feel so special when the independant feline chooses HUMBLE LIL OL YOU for a napping spot?) and shes getting annoyed at me...er...phone...ing? For lack of a better word, lol...so ill get back to this later...again...thank u ALL for support i am feeling much better...and have some new, practical ideas im gonna try ^^ yaaay!
i am feeling much better...and have some new, practical ideas im gonna try ^^ yaaay!
AsheSkyler
Feathered Jester
Lots of good advice. =)
The clinginess to friends makes sense, you're about to get an unwelcome disruption and you likely see them as a stable point in your life. When the friends get overwhelmed, could you turn to the cat for a while? Like perhaps a simple mind game with petting the cat. Mentally transfer your stress to your hands and with each stroke you're wiping away some stress. I'm sure the cat wouldn't complain about a long petting and the simple repetitive movement might be relaxing in itself.
I have a few slow suggestions for getting used to going outside. Start by opening a window and sitting near it so you only have audio to adjust to at first. Then when you're pretty used to and familiar with all the noises, go sit outside on the porch for a moment or read a book until you feel a need to go back in. Then began adventuring out and about when you're comfortable with that. It may help you get used to the new place better.
Perhaps you could also put a lot of focus to little organizational things to help your parents? I moved seven times in a two year span (and developed a healthy hatred of paperwork) and sometimes it was very soothing for me to just write on the boxes every little thing they contained. My point of living for those moments was to catalog the box and nothing else mattered. Made it easier to unpack in the long run since we could find things more easily.
The clinginess to friends makes sense, you're about to get an unwelcome disruption and you likely see them as a stable point in your life. When the friends get overwhelmed, could you turn to the cat for a while? Like perhaps a simple mind game with petting the cat. Mentally transfer your stress to your hands and with each stroke you're wiping away some stress. I'm sure the cat wouldn't complain about a long petting and the simple repetitive movement might be relaxing in itself.
I have a few slow suggestions for getting used to going outside. Start by opening a window and sitting near it so you only have audio to adjust to at first. Then when you're pretty used to and familiar with all the noises, go sit outside on the porch for a moment or read a book until you feel a need to go back in. Then began adventuring out and about when you're comfortable with that. It may help you get used to the new place better.
Perhaps you could also put a lot of focus to little organizational things to help your parents? I moved seven times in a two year span (and developed a healthy hatred of paperwork) and sometimes it was very soothing for me to just write on the boxes every little thing they contained. My point of living for those moments was to catalog the box and nothing else mattered. Made it easier to unpack in the long run since we could find things more easily.
Thank u all for being so kind been busy with moving...finally getting into the swing i guess, lol...however...it seems ive given the wrong idea about me...i am not UNABLE to leave the house..i do dislike it, but CAN enjoy window shopping with friends, hikes, and so on...instead of saying "shut-in" i should have said im more of a...homebody. but i still can, and even enjoy going out...sorry...it must be how i type...im not skilled with "the putting together the words and their coming out...good..thing..." haha, who got that reference? But really...i do thank u all for ur responses and helpfulness and im actually quite a calm and easygoing person. I do have anxiety sometime, but even when stressed im very mellow...its not an oxymoron, just...complex it takes alot to shake me...but this move...and problems surrounding it i HAVENT mentiond...is a rather big thing for me..but im getting thru it! I cant roll over and die, so i have to...one step at a time, eh?
been busy with moving...finally getting into the swing i guess, lol...however...it seems ive given the wrong idea about me...i am not UNABLE to leave the house..i do dislike it, but CAN enjoy window shopping with friends, hikes, and so on...instead of saying "shut-in" i should have said im more of a...homebody. but i still can, and even enjoy going out...sorry...it must be how i type...im not skilled with "the putting together the words and their coming out...good..thing..." haha, who got that reference? But really...i do thank u all for ur responses and helpfulness and im actually quite a calm and easygoing person. I do have anxiety sometime, but even when stressed im very mellow...its not an oxymoron, just...complex it takes alot to shake me...but this move...and problems surrounding it i HAVENT mentiond...is a rather big thing for me..but im getting thru it! I cant roll over and die, so i have to...one step at a time, eh? 
I've moved many times before, but it has still been thirteen years since the last time this happened, so I guess I'm not used to it. Have you moved before? I know it's something truly life changing, but I think the best way to look at it is you'll be able to go to a new place and meet new people with new adventures. You have to really believe that this change will be for the better, because it certainly sounds like it will be.
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