Mom's birthday is coming

[manca]

And I'm wondering what to get her. The plan was to pay her a holiday on seaside with my sister, but now my sister and mom had a fight and I can't afford to pay the holiday myself.
I have a good idea, but not sure if that's what she wants... See we have 2 horses at home. They're mine, but mom spends time with them too. She doesn't dare to ride my mare, she says she's too big and if she fell off she'd brake all her bones and died. Pony is too small. Anyway, my mom tells me every single day how much she wants she could ride. And then that she never will because she's old (she will be 60 this month) and she couldn't learn. I think she's really afraid of height and falling.
By the way, people can ride and learn how to ride at old age too. There were always few where I used to ride before getting my own horse.

Then we were talking about what we would do if we won lottery. She said she'd want a pony for herself, that she could ride without being afraid to fall far.

So. I was thinking about taking her on a riding school with icelandic ponies and paying her a private hour with a coach. Icelandic horses are special, they have special gaits that are easier to ride.

Do you think that's a good idea? I will ask her before I start planning seriously, I just don't want to ask her, if I'm missing something and her response will be bad and I'll get my feelings hurt. She sometimes keeps telling the same things over and over again, just to feel sorry for herself, but in fact doesn't want to do anything to make it better. I don't know if it's the same with riding.

 

[Peace]

It sounds to me like she wants to, and I think that is a great idea.
Good for you for loving your mom the way you do. She is lucky.

 

[manca]

So I asked her about it and she said no. When I asked for explanation she said: "because not." Got my feelings hurt and I didn't want to poke around because I'd end up crying.

Then sister and mom finally started talking to each other again last week, so sister and I started planning to get mom to the seaside for few days. We talked about that with mom few months ago and she was very happy about it. We didn't go to sea in very long time and she's always checking houses for sale there and saying how much she wants to live there. Anyway when mom and sis were fighting, mom told me several times that she doesn't want to go to the sea. Reason wasn't said and I assumed that it's because sis and mom are not talking and mom doesn't want a gift from her. Now when they were talking mom didn't say anything about sea to me. Sister, me and dad organized the whole thing as a surprise.

Mom has birthday today. I got up really early to make her coffee and wait for her to wake up with her favorite chocolates. It all went fine until I mentioned she's getting the big present in the afternoon. She went crazy, saying that she told me that she doesn't want to go to the sea and what are we thinking, etc. She said I have to return all the costs to my sister (who has a nice paid job, and me being in uni without job and living 2 horses with scholarship) because I didn't tell her she said she doesn't want to go.

I don't understand what happened. I explained her that I thought she doesn't want it because of the fight between sis and her and then when she didn't say anything after they started to talk to each other again...

I honestly don't understand her. She wants things, but when she could get them she throws a fit. I fear all holidays because of that. We almost always end up in a fight.

 

[nonsensical]

That's really sad!

I don't always understand people's seemingly contradictory desires either. I think it has something to do with being afraid to try new things especially the older we get. Try not to feel too bad about it. As personally as you might want to take it, this is your mother's problem, not yours. What you did for your mom was very sweet and thoughtful.

 

[manca]

Mom was behaving badly to me for few days, and sister yelled and insulted me because she didn't see a text from mom that was sent in the morning and she made the payment in the evening. I was expected to know that she will not check her phone and I should have called her, and it's all my fault. ???

Mom was picking on me badly, until I just went to my room to listen to music. She came with a big "you're the laziest human on Earth" arguement. Well if I can't do anything well, I won't do anything. We yelled and I won. Turns out it's all my sisters fault. Mom is mad at her. I didn't do anything wrong. She's not going to the sea, but she asked me if I still want to go to that horse farm. But she only wants to watch, no riding. So you were right about that trying new things. We'll probably go to watch though.

But really, how much more insane, mean and illogical can people get?

 

[nonsensical]

Wow, that is seriously screwed up! All you were trying to do was give your mother a nice birthday present and the whole thing blows up in your face