Modern day communication.

[Andrew_Collins]

I am an older Aspie so I can rember the days before texting,mobiles and internet. I can also rember before we had a phone. We mostly used the phone box, or if it was emergency we would go to a neighbor with some money to use phone.

I remember these days as more social, we knew everyone on our road and most of the shop keepers and most of the kids from my class (other boys anyway) would call for each other or have earning meal at each others house, in the town i grew up in, there were arguments, but adults looked out for kids, as they knew your mum or used to work with your dad. It was a town of 50. 000 in North England. If you were bored there were at least five or six people you could call on to hang out with.

When i got older and didn't have many friends I had pen pals from music magazines, and some from other countries,sometimes i would answer ads and for a brief period i used a phone chatline.

Being old fashioned i was reluctant to get a mobile phone and only got one finally in 2006 out of necessity. I first saw the internet in 1999 aged 28, and was amazed by emails I couldn't believe my letter was instantly available. I would just use the internet for emails, reading the paper ( and of course porn).

However from mid 2007, this was when i really got into the internet, I discovered YouTube and it was amazing to me, At first I was loving being able to see all these interviews of my favorite bands, all the pop songs i wanted, it was quite amazing. The following year i was diagnosed with AS and my only source of information was You Tube Vloggers and the net, so i was grateful for that, Later a friend started talking to me about conspiracy theories. And i spent a lot of time reasearching different subjects and it was the biggest education ever,as I had always felt things were not right in society. But I that isn't what this thread is about.

I heard about Facebook , so at the end of 2008 i made an account, soon after an old friend got in touch who id fallen out with 12 years previously, as i was iscolated, i forgave and forgot, but without going into detail, this person continued to cause more trouble for me on and off for the next 5 years. Now I've finally got rid of him. Another old friend that id lost touch with to was acting strangely and making me feel uncomfortable and yet another who I shared a flat with when at university got in touch but didn't say anything!!!! As it made me feel uncomfortable, i closed the account after just 3 weeks as i found myself feeling anxious about it and thinking about it when i was going about my everyday
business.

Then just this year out of sheer boredom and isolation I decided to open a new FB account. I had fond memories of my school time i mentioned previously, and was interested to see how everyone had aged.however six people didn't accept my friend invite, two family members upset me on it and two other girls who I knew during my collage days got in touch , but one didn't reply much and the other was annoying me with her inane drivel. I went on a small holiday and posted some pictures of what i was doing, and I got a few jealous quips from her. There was a girl from school who i wasn't friends with back then but knew me, i enjoyed talking too as she knew everyone i knew but she seems to be on FB all the time and even posted a picture of the back of her head on it. Noone had much to say really, and I found myself feeling uncomfortable again. I spoke to another old friend from school who had moved to New Zealand, but he seemed to be bragging all the time and i felt like he was in competition with me. Plus I saw some estranged family members on there and another family member got upset and jealous that i even mentioned these other people...During this second episode i once again began to feel very uncomfortable with it and found myself feeling depressed after spending too much time on it, so i decided to close it yet again. Also it was quite difficult to close...... I gave my email address to 3 girls i knew, but just 2 emailed then that fizzled away. Soon after i felt a lot better again .

Also ive notice a few people I've got friendly with over the last 5 years have asked me "Are you on Facebook?" no i said,, but we can text... I met a girl in a bar in manchester with her boyfriend 3 years ago who asked me this question, we all seemed to get along and exchanged phone numbers, we never met face to face again and whenever i called her there was no answer but she would text back soon after, whenever she called me she was drunk, and quite intense, i got to know her quite well just by text, she asked me repeatedly if i was on Facebook . In the end we had a silly disagreement after aranging to meet in Manchester over the christmas holidays, and i received aloud of abuse by text. I found the whole experience stupid and ridiculous .

I don't know if I'm just old fashioned but i prefer chatting face to face, you can pick up more the energy of a person face to face, but when i go outside all i see is people glued to their phones or music, it seemed modern technology has made our socializing even worse. Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for online banking, booking things and information, but I'm beginning to think i should limit my internet use as its making me depressed.

Do you prefer to communicate with social media? and texting? Because i hate texting but i only do it because its cheaper. Also my experience on Facebook has destroyed my memories or a happy period in my life. I think many people say and behave online diffrently than they would face to face. Tell me what do you think? I miss the old days.



. What do you think? If your older like me you will see the difference in life. Do you think modern communication methods are good or annoying? Do you use Facebook? if so do you enjoy it. Can you imagine living without all this?




Below is a well known video about what I'm talking about, plus a recent article from the Daily Mail about an elderly woman who felt depressed living in the modern age of communication.

Retired teacher, 89, ends her life at Swiss euthanasia clinic | Mail Online

 

[King_Oni]

I don't like modern communication that much, but then again, I lived part of my life without a cellphone and just had a landline. My childhood and puberty were pretty much internet free as well. When I was 16, internet became a thing and by the time I was 18, I had my own connection at home.

My first cellphone was around the same time and for a big part the few people I communicated with didn't even have a cellphone themselves, so I still had to call them at home and ask if they were around.

I kinda liked that. It was way more quiet IMO.

As much as I use plenty modern communication methods I don't make my life depend on them that much. My phone is on flightmode (and thus I'm not available) for the majority of the day so I don't get disturbed while doing the things I want to do. It also puts me in charge to reach out to someone when I want rather than being on stand-by all day long for everyone. Granted, I text more than I make phonecalls (especially with friends) so it often just makes it look like someone left a message for me to read when I want. I rarely text with people with the intention to have instant response... that's the times where I'll try to make a phonecall, but those rarely come up.

I have used plenty of social media in the past; a few national ones, myspace and now facebook. Yet I use them as a source of entertainment and not really as a social network to stay in touch with friends. The majority of my newsfeed is related to interests, with a few random posts of friends and such. I don't care what everyone is up to 24/7. It's also why I don't feel the urge to post every little thing on FB. Yes, earlier this week I posted that I was hanging out with a friend in another country and aside from that I think that's my only status I posted in about a week. I don't feel obligated to keep everyone updated on my wherabouts and what I'm doing, just as much as I don't feel the obligation of people to inform me about it.

As for expenses; I've got my cellphone communication covered. Unlimited plan for texting, calling and I've got enough data covered to check my emails and have the occasional conversation through Whatsapp (or any other messenger if the need would arise). There isn't a reason why I couldn't text or call someone I guess, but I just don't do it because I don't feel the urge to do so. Still nice to have it all covered just in case.

I sometimes send my girlfriend an email and we end up mailing back and forth a bit rather than chatting. I sometimes just prefer a well written message rather than quickly blurted out single sentences and abbreviations. It also makes it easier for me to do something else, since there's no on waiting for me to respond right that minute.

Internet and social media don't make me depressed, though I think it does depend a bit on how you use it. Some people can't go a day without social media or their cellphone. I sometimes have to search my cellphone since I haven't had any interest to use it for a day or so. That's how much I care about communication at times.

Much like yourself I do enjoy the internet for the information as for banking and other random tidbits. Though it does sadden me a bit that all information is becoming online only. I actually enjoyed having these booklets and leaflets around with information and phonenumbers and information. Back when I was still attending high school and college the branch of the government who pays out scholarship fees and such had a plethora of information leaflets, those faded out eventually and now they just have a fancy website. Yes, it saves paper, but that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy having heaps of leaflets around with information that I actively had to collect. Google made people lazy... (and still some people don't have this "I can google this" instinct imprinted upon them).

Could I do without the internet and social media (and perhaps even cellphones)? meh... aside from practical issues probably. Having a girlfriend who lives about 100 miles from me, me not having a landline at the house anymore, the plethora of services require an internet connection... it would make life unnecessary hard. I mean, if I'm correct nowadays I can't even apply for benefits without going online.

The funniest thing about cellphones (and thus modern communication) is people don't know any phonenumbers anymore. If their phone gets lost, most people have a serious problem to contact someone.

 

[Andrew_Collins]

I don't like modern communication that much, but then again, I lived part of my life without a cellphone and just had a landline. My childhood and puberty were pretty much internet free as well. When I was 16, internet became a thing and by the time I was 18, I had my own connection at home.

My first cellphone was around the same time and for a big part the few people I communicated with didn't even have a cellphone themselves, so I still had to call them at home and ask if they were around.

I kinda liked that. It was way more quiet IMO.

As much as I use plenty modern communication methods I don't make my life depend on them that much. My phone is on flightmode (and thus I'm not available) for the majority of the day so I don't get disturbed while doing the things I want to do. It also puts me in charge to reach out to someone when I want rather than being on stand-by all day long for everyone. Granted, I text more than I make phonecalls (especially with friends) so it often just makes it look like someone left a message for me to read when I want. I rarely text with people with the intention to have instant response... that's the times where I'll try to make a phonecall, but those rarely come up.

I have used plenty of social media in the past; a few national ones, myspace and now facebook. Yet I use them as a source of entertainment and not really as a social network to stay in touch with friends. The majority of my newsfeed is related to interests, with a few random posts of friends and such. I don't care what everyone is up to 24/7. It's also why I don't feel the urge to post every little thing on FB. Yes, earlier this week I posted that I was hanging out with a friend in another country and aside from that I think that's my only status I posted in about a week. I don't feel obligated to keep everyone updated on my wherabouts and what I'm doing, just as much as I don't feel the obligation of people to inform me about it.

As for expenses; I've got my cellphone communication covered. Unlimited plan for texting, calling and I've got enough data covered to check my emails and have the occasional conversation through Whatsapp (or any other messenger if the need would arise). There isn't a reason why I couldn't text or call someone I guess, but I just don't do it because I don't feel the urge to do so. Still nice to have it all covered just in case.

I sometimes send my girlfriend an email and we end up mailing back and forth a bit rather than chatting. I sometimes just prefer a well written message rather than quickly blurted out single sentences and abbreviations. It also makes it easier for me to do something else, since there's no on waiting for me to respond right that minute.

Internet and social media don't make me depressed, though I think it does depend a bit on how you use it. Some people can't go a day without social media or their cellphone. I sometimes have to search my cellphone since I haven't had any interest to use it for a day or so. That's how much I care about communication at times.

Much like yourself I do enjoy the internet for the information as for banking and other random tidbits. Though it does sadden me a bit that all information is becoming online only. I actually enjoyed having these booklets and leaflets around with information and phonenumbers and information. Back when I was still attending high school and college the branch of the government who pays out scholarship fees and such had a plethora of information leaflets, those faded out eventually and now they just have a fancy website. Yes, it saves paper, but that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy having heaps of leaflets around with information that I actively had to collect. Google made people lazy... (and still some people don't have this "I can google this" instinct imprinted upon them).

Could I do without the internet and social media (and perhaps even cellphones)? meh... aside from practical issues probably. Having a girlfriend who lives about 100 miles from me, me not having a landline at the house anymore, the plethora of services require an internet connection... it would make life unnecessary hard. I mean, if I'm correct nowadays I can't even apply for benefits without going online.

The funniest thing about cellphones (and thus modern communication) is people don't know any phonenumbers anymore. If their phone gets lost, most people have a serious problem to contact someone.

Hi thanks for your reply,, I'm trying to quote parts of your message but not sure how to use it. Yes I agree using the landline formally in the hallway was more respectable and decent. I hate getting texts like WOT U DOIN? i don't like being bugged when I'm out at the shops, If i have to speak on the mobile, outside i always try to walk to a quiet area, I absolutely hate listening to people chatting inane drivel near me on a train or bus. I don't know were my mobile is half the time and have to ring it, I mostly use it for an alarm and watch, its the most basic cheap thing ever, When visiting mum or my best friend they are constantly staring at their beloved iPhone, i just can't compete its so rude.

In the internet, I like Skype, but only use it occasionally, but i mostly look at films and other stuff on YouTube, but i have apple TV so can pick up You Tube on that. Likeyou said when i first got a mobile, i was impressed with texting, but got fed up after a while, I wasn't used to being instantly reachable all the time, and onetime at the beginning I nearly got run over, I also walked into a bench and lamppost twice, then i learned to ignore it, and better still switch it off, they are only useful if you are meeting someone and late.

I think these days people don't even like to use the phone anymore ,maybe its seen as to old fashioned, I think its more of a shallow communication by text and fb. Less respectful. Why the hell should let aloud of people see what I'm doing who don't care . Facebook to me is just for bragging, being nosey , and promoting businesses , as well as being snooped on by corporate business. FB has been proven to increse narcissism and feelings of inadequacy.

A girl That i went to school with friend invited me, and gave her an update and asked her what she was up to, yet she said very little back, i found this strange as she contacted me. " your not saying mutch" i said " oh sorry i was talking to my boyfriend on the phone" . How rude, i would never do that, id rather not speak to anyone, then another guy friend invited me and i had no clue who it was was, we had a mutual friend and i brought this up, he didn't have the manners to reply!.

Like you said , i prefer emailing as its more calm and the closest thing to a letter, but this too seems old fashoned. I like the internet for general information,too.

Yes you mentioned you liked the days of leaflets, I have a lot of cookery books here, but i always go online to research my latest dish recipy, Lots of younger people ( and one my age) have never read a book!!!!.... One girl i spoke to in england said when she saw me with my new book, "Ughhh too much energy required"... I still like to read books in bed, its better to use your imagination. The last video game i played was Pacman and q bert in 1983 in an arcade. Im not into these violent games with super 3d graphics.


I suppose it just depends on the person. My friend has lost his job in the printing industry as people rant buying magazines today like they used to. Here in Sweden there are no manned railway stations anymore, you have to book online or though a terminal. Also no bus accepts cash anymore you get these mobile tickets ( I don't know how to do it), a pre paid card or card payment. Also I read that an experiment is being done in the southern swedish town of Lund using fingerprint identification as a means of payment,supposidly to prevent fraud, its just at a trail stage at moment but it gives me the chills, Will it be a microchip next?

I still think you only make true friends by going through ups and downs with them, at work or school, having rows and sorting it out and trying to meet halfway...... never by blocking them on social media( or trying to apologize on it).

Whatever happened to writing letters. I wonder what will be around in 30 years, i bet it will be holographic messaging.

 

[Andrew_Collins]

Well, I'm 11 years older than you are, so I know what you mean. I detest telephones; I wouldn't have one in the house if it weren't such a necessity. I have a cell phone mostly for emergencies and communicating at work so our Director can't hear us over the radio. I'm not a fan of text, but I reluctantly use it. E-mail is my means of communication now, but before that it was snail-mail. I always enjoyed writing letters. I do not use Facebook. I tried it once, but didn't like it. Frankly, I wouldn't mind turning the clock back 50 years to a time when people communicated face-to-face, there was no Internet, and kids actually played outside in the summer.

I totally agree. I think receiving a real letter shows someone has put time and thought into it. The only modern method i like is E-mail, as it seems more civil. But after what Edward Snowden has revealed, maybe we should go back to smoke signals.

Yes know people in america and other countries, but i know none in my apartment block, i never knew life would be like this, not many people out on the street either, and they don't want to chat unless they have had a litre of vodka ! . Swedes have to be one of the most unsocial reserved peoples ever.

( ok rant over)

 

[King_Oni]

Hi thanks for your reply,, I'm trying to quote parts of your message but not sure how to use it. Yes I agree using the landline formally in the hallway was more respectable and decent. I hate getting texts like WOT U DOIN? i don't like being bugged when I'm out at the shops, If i have to speak on the mobile, outside i always try to walk to a quiet area, I absolutely hate listening to people chatting inane drivel near me on a train or bus. I don't know were my mobile is half the time and have to ring it, I mostly use it for an alarm and watch, its the most basic cheap thing ever, When visiting mum or my best friend they are constantly staring at their beloved iPhone, i just can't compete its so rude.

It drives me up the wall when I see people in line in the store answering their phone. As if it can't wait until they are outside. But then again, ringing phones annoy me. Mine is silent at all times and I rather just call back than feel important, lol. I don't understand how people feel fine that discussing private things in public is fine. Makes me wonder if this makes eavesdropping more accepted and commenting on what you hear. Chances are that it's not ok, yet I actually think people should just keep such information to themselves and make a phone call in private. I even make a phonecall in private at home since I don't think it's my parents business to (probably accidentally) hear in on what I'm talking about.

Much like yourself I use my phone for a lot of things, and calling is the last thing. I do have one of those fancy phones (no iPhone though) and I use mine quite a lot for photography.

 

[Andrew_Collins]

It drives me up the wall when I see people in line in the store answering their phone. As if it can't wait until they are outside. But then again, ringing phones annoy me. Mine is silent at all times and I rather just call back than feel important, lol. I don't understand how people feel fine that discussing private things in public is fine. Makes me wonder if this makes eavesdropping more accepted and commenting on what you hear. Chances are that it's not ok, yet I actually think people should just keep such information to themselves and make a phone call in private. I even make a phonecall in private at home since I don't think it's my parents business to (probably accidentally) hear in on what I'm talking about.

Much like yourself I use my phone for a lot of things, and calling is the last thing. I do have one of those fancy phones (no iPhone though) and I use mine quite a lot for photography.

A lot of big headed people like to be seen chatting on the phone i think, They want everyone to think they hold a full and active life and are really popular.

 

[King_Oni]

A lot of big headed people like to be seen chatting on the phone i think, They want everyone to think they hold a full and active life and are really popular.

Ahem... I sometimes chat on my phone

Though I at least try to take my time for it and don't have the urge to chat and appear busy every second of the day.

 

[The Penguin]

I do prefer things before all the modern communication. Also missed the video arcade days. You get a chance to go outside and meet people face to face. Now everyone just do things online. I find the social media thing is mainly focused on popularity.

 

[King_Oni]

I do prefer things before all the modern communication. Also missed the video arcade days. You get a chance to go outside and meet people face to face.

Too bad arcades never really caught up in Europe. But from stories I hear those must've been pretty awesome.

I didn't start socializing and hanging out with people until I went clubbing... which obviously isn't for everyone (and perhaps a large group of users on this forum in particular).

 

[The Penguin]

Too bad arcades never really caught up in Europe. But from stories I hear those must've been pretty awesome.

I didn't start socializing and hanging out with people until I went clubbing... which obviously isn't for everyone (and perhaps a large group of users on this forum in particular).

Yes it was. When I was 12 years old I would be out until 1AM when it closed and food afterwards makes a great combo. I thought I would like clubs when I was of age but I don’t.