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Mental anguish knowing your word counts for 0 and having to convince a therapist about autism

Suzanne

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I know why my word does not count; but doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

So today, I go to see my psychiatrist and have decided that it has to be my husband who brings up the possibility of me being on the spectrum.

What I know about my husband is that if he lacks belief, he will not support and although yes, that is fair enough, it does not mean his lack of believing is fair all the time and twice I have suggest autism to professionals ( both females), I have been laughed at and my husband has joined in the ridicule ie I keep telling her that this, but she is convinced, so may be you can convince her?

I had to remind him of my appointment later on and he was so lukewarm about it all, in truth, it did not imbibe confidence that he will support me.

He went off to work and not long after that, I got a text to say that he is sorry I feel no confidence in him and perhaps if I send him an email telling him what I want from him, that will help to convince me that he is on my side. I was so grateful for this, because he volunteered and thus, it means that it will stick more to him and no, he has not got autism; perhaps a few traits, but he has been in my life for 27 years and one does pick up things lol
 
It's got to be sooo irritating. Let us know how this one goes.
 
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Of course your word counts.

I recommend that you find someone who knows how to evaluate autism in women. And women your age, not girls. I've had professionals who worked with autistic children tell me that I am definitely not on the spectrum. I've had a clinical psychologist tell me that I definitely am on the spectrum who was not qualified to make the diagnosis, unable to give me specific information and advised me not to go looking for better.

I finally found someone who understands autistic women. Living with this for 65 years while not being aware of it has caused enormous problems in my life.

If you're husband isn't supportive, find someone who is. If that's really truly not possible, go alone. He has no right to limit you. Ridicule is never appropriate. It's hard to tell from just your short message but he sounds manipulative. Or he could just be confused and frustrated.
 
You know, Suzanne, I was thinking more about it and I wonder how can this doctor be treating you while not believing you? What does he think he's treating you for? And how can he treat any symptoms if he doesn't believe those symptoms?
 
I’m going to be blunt because I want to be helpful.
The reason you are seeing a psychiatrist isn’t directly because you are an Aspie, it is because you have been married for 27 years to a man that doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
At your appointment today you could try going in to the visit and let hubby wait in the lobby for you. Your communication, even without speaking the language, will at least be coming from you directly and unfiltered.
 
BraidedPony said:
I’m going to be blunt because I want to be helpful.
The reason you are seeing a psychiatrist isn’t directly because you are an Aspie, it is because you have been married for 27 years to a man that doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
At your appointment today you could try going in to the visit and let hubby wait in the lobby for you. Your communication, even without speaking the language, will at least be coming from you directly and unfiltered.
Click to expand...

Not possible and hubby said that he is going to help me.

He has actually had the best interest at heart; just misguided on what that is.
 
Ok. That is good if he’s going to help.
I wish you had an English speaking therapist though.
 
Suzanne said:
I know why my word does not count; but doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

So today, I go to see my psychiatrist and have decided that it has to be my husband who brings up the possibility of me being on the spectrum.

What I know about my husband is that if he lacks belief, he will not support and although yes, that is fair enough, it does not mean his lack of believing is fair all the time and twice I have suggest autism to professionals ( both females), I have been laughed at and my husband has joined in the ridicule ie I keep telling her that this, but she is convinced, so may be you can convince her?

I had to remind him of my appointment later on and he was so lukewarm about it all, in truth, it did not imbibe confidence that he will support me.

He went off to work and not long after that, I got a text to say that he is sorry I feel no confidence in him and perhaps if I send him an email telling him what I want from him, that will help to convince me that he is on my side. I was so grateful for this, because he volunteered and thus, it means that it will stick more to him and no, he has not got autism; perhaps a few traits, but he has been in my life for 27 years and one does pick up things lol
Click to expand...

Hi Suzanne,

Sorry that your husband isn't being supportive.
What is it exactly the reason that he doesn't believe that you have autism?
Personally if I was in your shoes I would go see a different doctor, someone who is knowledgeable in autism, because even if your husband was supportive and told this psychiatrist that he believes you have autism they still may not "believe it" if they don't have much knowledge and experience surrounding autism and they're dealing with purely psychiatric type disorders of anxiety,depression etc..
If he/she has rarely come across it then they may be in disbelief or even believe you are neurotic etc.
In my view you are just wasting your time with them and I would recommend seeing someone who actually deals every day with people who have autism any particularly females with autism (if possible).

Do you mind saying which country you're in because I noticed there is some mention of you speaking a different language to the psychiatrist?
Also you mentioned having some Thyroid issues?
That's interesting as I have them as well.
 
I was born with Hypothyroidism. It wasn't diagnosed until I was three months old because it wasn't being tested at birth yet in the US. We always blamed my "difficulties" on the delayed diagnosis. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was forty. Many Symptoms of Hypothyroidism and Autism are the same. Neither are well understood by "Professionals", especially if you are Female!
 
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

I would start shopping for an autism-competent provider.

After I got an official diagnosis, too many providers would only accept me as a patient if I accepted their alternative diagnosis of Schizotypal PD.

They held that people grow out of autism; that it is only a childhood diagnosis. Trying to convince such otherwise is an uphill battle (that the patient will ultimately lose). I kept looking until I found my current counselor.
 
On the therapist side, yeah super irritating. I've been dismissed for all sorts of things for no good reason. People not taking my word for it because they don't like me, or think they know better, or don't take the time to listen. Even on topics where I am the expert, and even about... me! And I am the most qualified person in the world to talk about me, because I am me. Even more irritating if I start to believe them, and have to keep reminding myself that I DO know what I'm talking about. This happens to me a lot.

On the husband side, I've been with my husband for 20 years, and STILL we do things like that and have to text/email apologies. And we sometimes don't understand each other. Even after 2 decades! Still, at least it's not boring... :)
 
Hi, thanks for all your responses.

Just to say, that I live in France and there is very little options opened to me, where I live and actually, it was my husband who got the appointment for me and it is free.

I just have no more options, but persevere with this therapist. He is just typical in that he goes by what the book says and thus, anything outside of that, he will just brush away.

He is also a "pill pusher" but has given me the option of talking and my husband feels I need to be very apologetic to the therapist for not taking the meds and be willing to talk about my past ( I am more willing than I was, accept, it is just a no no in French).

I can communicate in French, but not to the extent of something so delicate and why I feel that I need to bring up the possiblity of autism.

Whether it was deliberate or not, he did prescribe medcine to calm autistic irritabilties down and yet, I have not shown any aggression in the room. I have to be in essense, my back up against a wall, before I let loose as it where and even that is confind to just a raised and hurt voice, with blasted tears.

I see him next month.
 
I stopped seeing a therapist because more often than not, I left the office feeling Worse than I did going in! Who needs that? Like so many of us, I'm not a big talker! I also can't describe my feelings when I'm not feeling them in the moment, (or shortly after) so waiting every other week for an appointment was useless for me! I've found that I'm my own best therapist!
 
Unfortunately we live in world where doctors are thought to know better than we do about our lives and conditions. Like in my case where i have been thrown out of every office i have walked in needing help because of mean uncontrollable verbal agressiveness and everywhere i have gone people get angry and throw me out telling me that i am doing it on purpose and treat me like i am a monster. No one will believe that it as uncontrollable as a person with seizures trying to control their seizures. It hurts and breaks my heart because i want to escape but no one will believe me that i am powerless over it. But that is mental health sadly in the world today. Doctors who you just met automatically know more about u than you. Even if you where to get the diagnosed at least it is this way in the states you then treated like you dont know what you are doing because you have this label now tied to your name. So here in america you seem damned if you do damned if you dont.
 
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