Memories and vocalising?

[Mr Alligator]

When thinking about embarrassing things that have happened / been said, does anyone else vocalise them?

I seem to be saying the F word multiple times out loud in such situations. Guess almost a bit like Tourette’s??

Seems to be a recent development, last year or so maybe?

I also seem to be talking to myself a bit since 2020 - guess being stuck at home during lockdowns etc.

Also wondering if it’s just me trying not to mask as much - given I was diagnosed end of 2018, after many years of not knowing.

 

[Tom]

Idk technically speaking, but talking to oneself seems to be quite common in our population. Not sure how it compares to NTs.

 

[mcampos75]

Absolutely. I actually tend to do this (vocalising) even when embarassing things didn't happen. Sometimes they are just thoughts about embarassing things and it's not uncommon for me to vocalise the "F" word or an equivalent one...Sometimes is quite annoying ... and I try to manage those situations when I am in social gatherings...

Regarding to speaking to myself I do it all the time. Specially in the shower when I basically rehearse the future dialogues I might have during the day to see if I can bring down the anxiety a bit...

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I don't really talk with myself, but I sometimes get flashes of something bad or awkward I have done, When this happens, I tell myself a lot of... honestly pretty dark stuff. This can also happen when I feel nervous, but often I'm doing perfectly fine when the flashes appear. I remember hearing from one of my parents that I was diagnosed with Tourette's in kindergarten (as well as "slowness" and ADHD, which I suspect is partly because knowledge of Autism was lacking then), though I don't know if it was official and I might well be misremembering what s/he said.

I started to repeat the same or similar vile stuff and have more frequent flashes from about three years ago. Accompanying this, I feel a very strong urge to move in certain ways. If I'm alone/outside I tend to speak out loud and make clear movements, but when among others I can make do with whispering them and grimacing. I don't think anyone has noticed yet. When this started happening, I was worried about developing obsessive compulsive disorder since it is more common with people on the spectrum than the general population. However, despite some of the thoughts being similar to the obsessive thoughts described in people with OCD, I don't think the compulsions were ever powerful or debilitating enough to warrant investigation. The thoughts and actions have stayed pretty stable since then, neither increasing nor decreasing in frequency and intensity which is a relief. If I do have Tourette's (which might well be), the flashes might be more related to that than autism.

 

[SusanLR]

I'm always speaking to myself when doing something that involves phases.
I don't speak in my normal voice as I would to someone.
More of a low, almost whisper as I plot what I am doing and the next step to
complete it.
"Ok, that's done, now to make the phone call, then complete this form...etc."

 

[Jeff T]

There are some days I self-talk quite a bit. Others not at all. Basically I'm verbalizing how to do the steps of a project/chores in front of me, helps me to remember them better for some reason. I've heard it is common among ADHD too.
There are quite a few homeless in this area. Some of them self-talk also, but it is gibberish or tangled sentences.

 

[Storm Hess]

I do catch myself making reflective noises to the thoughts I'm having at times. I don't know why...but I get self-conscious of it and try not to do it.

 

[Mr Alligator]

"Ok, that's done, now to make the phone call, then complete this form...etc."

That sounds familiar, think I’ve done that too.

I've heard it is common among ADHD too.

hmm, I’ve been wondering if I also have ADHD, some of the traits seem familiar. Did an online test too and it is a maybe.

 

[NDR2]

When I’m doing exercise, I count out loud. I also speak out loud when taking care of other things. I think it helps me do them right.

And I’ve always verbally stimmed. I always liked singing to myself (I still do, but when I’m not alone, I’ll do it under my breath). When I was a child I might also have recited dialogue from TV shows or records. It was a way to destress.

Also, kind of embarrassing to say, when I’m frustrated, worried, or late, or things aren’t going right, I groan, shriek, and scream.

 

[SusanLR]

I just remembered a magazine article about how speaking to self while doing
a task is very popular in Japan.
They consider it mindfulness as it does help with accuracy.

The particular example it gave was how the conductors and those who take care of
the bullet train there in between stops will go through their check list one thing at
a time. Pointing and speaking to themselves as they do each thing on the list.

 

[Rodafina]

I just remembered a magazine article about how speaking to self while doing
a task is very popular in Japan.
They consider it mindfulness as it does help with accuracy.

The particular example it gave was how the conductors and those who take care of
the bullet train there in between stops will go through their check list one thing at
a time. Pointing and speaking to themselves as they do each thing on the list.

I recently got a job that mostly involves finding new addresses and delivering different combinations of meals to elders who cannot leave their homes. Sometimes there are dietary restrictions, food allergies, etc. Between the tasks of finding addresses and organizing meals, I have a constant stream of chatter coming out of my mouth. It definitely keeps me focused and present. I am also very happy to work alone!

 

[Misery]

I always hear people being concerned about talking to themselves, while here I am, having had an argument with a USB cable yesterday (again).

It's all fine, I'm sure.

 

[Jeepcarpenter]

…. Yeah.. practically everything each person has listed in almost exacting detail, shy of screaming that is. Nervous noise making, self affirmation and vocalization of tasks or thought, even querying my own opinion; usually on the cusp of my breath around others but still audibly conveyed above the threshold of a whisper.
It mostly helps me keep clear focus and allows my mind a bit more freedom tending to tasks at hand, or maybe yet just to maintain constant motion and rhythm so as not to stall.
There are bouts of echolalia had that I perceive vaguely similar to Tourette’s but never explored further, finding things like muscular tics and spasms and other nerve flaring, physical movements accompanying thoughts, and excessive amounts of shivers or nerve stimulation being expressed as fairly normal, echolalia I just thought wasn’t something done around anyone else though it is certainly compulsive when it comes on for me, usually reliving a past moment of shame and embarrassment, and yes the crude vulgar and horrid thoughts that a mind can twist and curl to cater to the shame is quite impressive and demeaning, understandable why I used to get stuck in downward spirals of anxiety. The compulsion of echolalia still bothers me at times.. but for the most part I can quiet (not silence) myself and can dismantle the anxiety before befalling another trap. Weird and astounding how brains can be such talented a••hats.