I apologize in advance if this topic has already been discussed. I am new to this forum and when I did a search, I couldn't find the topic. When I Google search, most articles seem to deal with meltdowns in Aspie children, not adults.
I am NT but my boyfriend is Aspie. The only thing about him that I really have a tough time with are his meltdowns. I don't understand them at all. They are unpredictable and to an NT like me, they seem utterly ridiculous and very scary. Very much like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I want to understand what triggers them and how to diffuse them as quickly as possible when they happen.
My boyfriend will have a meltdown over things that seem little to me, like getting temporarily lost while driving. More specifically, if I am the one that is driving, unfamiliar with the area, and happen to make a wrong turn that is easily correctable. He freaks out when this happens and goes from 0 to Foaming-At-The-Mouth angry at me. Another common meltdown for him is when he is working on a repair project that isn't going as smoothly as expected. He gets frustrated and angry about it, so I try to calm him down by reminding him that with a calm, cool head he can think clearly and figure out what's wrong. Telling him to calm down pisses him off even more, so I've learned to just leave him alone and walk away but there are some meltdowns that he does not let me walk away from.
He's had meltdowns over other stupid little things here and there and thankfully his meltdowns don't occur very often, but they are terrible for me to deal with. Aside from the frightening aspect of him turning beet red, yelling, and foaming at the mouth like, he has also punched holes in the walls and doors. Once or twice he has even banged his head against a wall or hurt himself in some small way. He nearly got us evicted from the last apartment we lived in. Now we live in a house so that we don't have neighbors too close for us to disturb. Some of our friends have witnessed his meltdowns and give me pitying looks but are scared to say anything. My boyfriend always eventually apologizes for his meltdowns but he doesn't think they are as scary as I find them and he thinks as long as he is not hitting me or anyone else, there's no problem and it's just him being angry. I don't want him acting like this in front of our kid and he doesn't either but he says he loses his mind when he has these meltdowns. He feels bad because he doesn't want to make our child afraid of him or teach him to handle his stress in that way.
These meltdowns are enough to make a girl run for the hills but I don't know if that is the right thing to do. We've been best friends for over 3 years and most days he is very loving and loyal. I was hoping any member, Aspie or otherwise, can tell me about their meltdowns and what they prefer their loved ones to do when they happen.
I am NT but my boyfriend is Aspie. The only thing about him that I really have a tough time with are his meltdowns. I don't understand them at all. They are unpredictable and to an NT like me, they seem utterly ridiculous and very scary. Very much like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I want to understand what triggers them and how to diffuse them as quickly as possible when they happen.
My boyfriend will have a meltdown over things that seem little to me, like getting temporarily lost while driving. More specifically, if I am the one that is driving, unfamiliar with the area, and happen to make a wrong turn that is easily correctable. He freaks out when this happens and goes from 0 to Foaming-At-The-Mouth angry at me. Another common meltdown for him is when he is working on a repair project that isn't going as smoothly as expected. He gets frustrated and angry about it, so I try to calm him down by reminding him that with a calm, cool head he can think clearly and figure out what's wrong. Telling him to calm down pisses him off even more, so I've learned to just leave him alone and walk away but there are some meltdowns that he does not let me walk away from.
He's had meltdowns over other stupid little things here and there and thankfully his meltdowns don't occur very often, but they are terrible for me to deal with. Aside from the frightening aspect of him turning beet red, yelling, and foaming at the mouth like, he has also punched holes in the walls and doors. Once or twice he has even banged his head against a wall or hurt himself in some small way. He nearly got us evicted from the last apartment we lived in. Now we live in a house so that we don't have neighbors too close for us to disturb. Some of our friends have witnessed his meltdowns and give me pitying looks but are scared to say anything. My boyfriend always eventually apologizes for his meltdowns but he doesn't think they are as scary as I find them and he thinks as long as he is not hitting me or anyone else, there's no problem and it's just him being angry. I don't want him acting like this in front of our kid and he doesn't either but he says he loses his mind when he has these meltdowns. He feels bad because he doesn't want to make our child afraid of him or teach him to handle his stress in that way.
These meltdowns are enough to make a girl run for the hills but I don't know if that is the right thing to do. We've been best friends for over 3 years and most days he is very loving and loyal. I was hoping any member, Aspie or otherwise, can tell me about their meltdowns and what they prefer their loved ones to do when they happen.