Masks for different reasons

[WereBear]

The 'who am I' question being just the other half of the circle which also has 'who are they,what are they doing and why?'
A process the NT has no need for.

I am astonished at this, yet have no reason to doubt your insight.

Whilst I may be going through angst in a wilderness somewhere, a NT will be garnering opinion amonst peers to form a consensus so that the correct form of thought and action can be agreed. If something bad that was said, it wasnt really meant. That face saving thing. Which is a way to repair the sense of the socially based self.

This "socially based self" is something I now know, since my discovery I am ND, that taxes me in proportion to how well I know the person... and how much they will accept my true self. It certainly seems to loom larger for NTs.

 

[Katleya]

I'm trying to resist putting a picture of me in the Batman mask I got with my Happy Meal 4 years ago, but I feel it would be just sliiightly off topic.

Spoiler: Oh, well...

Here comes Batleya.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I'm trying to resist putting a picture of me in the Batman mask I got with my Happy Meal 4 years ago, but I feel it would be just sliiightly off topic.

Spoiler: Oh, well...

Here comes Batleya.
View attachment 41618

Just looked up my book of the impossible.

Pages 776. The only possible name better than Kayleya is Batleya.

Although I have to say I would also wear a disguise in case anyone aas to recognise me in Mcdonalds...

I also wondering what the post it note says

 

[Katleya]

Although I have to say I would also wear a disguise in case anyone aas to recognise me in Mcdonalds...

No, you don't understand: I went to McDonald's specifically for the Batman mask that was one of the Happy Meal toys. And I had to eat a lot of Happy Meals that month, because I'd always get something else

As for the post it, I'm not even sure it's actually one, because that's my old apartment, so humid that nothing would stick to the walls. It kinda looks like one of the crappy electrical outlets. We may never know, the original picture is super blurry.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

No, you don't understand: I went to McDonald's specifically for the Batman mask that was one of the Happy Meal toys. And I had to eat a lot of Happy Meals that month, because I'd always get something else

Well thats even worse or did i meam even better....

Guess I'm not au courant with the whole happy meal thing...

Nah, i meant worse

Is that Batleyas power to blur pictures?

 

[Katleya]

Guess I'm not au courant with the whole happy meal thing...

I admire the multilingual pun. Well done.

Can't talk about the superpowers. Or about the mask (but that's because I don't really bother with a social mask anymore, the only thing I keep undercover is my daily pain level, really).

 

[Steve0001]

There used to be a lot of different versions of me, depending on my circumstances. But as I grow older, more accepting of myself and more comfortable in my own (aging ) skin, I find that my masked and unmasked self are becoming more similar.

My mask was mostly about hiding my emotions behind a carefully crafted tough/carefree/party girl/rebel persona. I learned that people like smiles, so I always smiled. I learned that people are intimidated by displays of knowledge, so I usually refrained from intellectual discussions. I spent so much time and energy maintaining this façade that I really had no clue what I was feeling most of the time.

In the last few years I have learned recognize my own emotions, and I've learned to be vulnerable. I no longer perceive emotions as weaknesses, and I am not ashamed of having emotions. I've reached the point where I'm comfortable discussing my emotions offline as well. To me it's very liberating to be able to admit to others how overwhelmed I feel from time to time. I've gained a lot of friends because of how open I am these days.

I empathise with you completely and like the way you describe the mask. For me it's always been a subconscious effort, but emotionally draining to both create and wear. I find it difficult to read people and as such have always worn multiple masks. I'm not sure I'm ready to let the emotions out as I fear very few people would be able to handle them; at least that's my experience to date.

 

[Bella Pines]

That's a really interesting thought.

In think in the real world, NT and ND masks are very different but yet, you are right, are still there. My mask is basically to simulate heard activity. To mimic the crowd, not to appear to question things and to perform the right actions at the right time. The ND masks are more behavioral, they perform designated roles such as manager, athlete, mother, sympathetic friend, jovial colleague. What is expected in each context. I suppose NTs have to wear these masks as well, on top of their "yes I really enjoy this" mask.

But online, that's interesting. Personally, I don't really act differently online. I can't really be bothered to wear a mask anymore, I am what I am and people can like it or not, so I don't really adjust my behavior in any big way. But generally I would guess that aspies are better adjusted online. Online affords an anonymity that gives the illusion of freedom. NTs I would guess, would see this for what it is, not really freedom, still conversing with humans, and so maybe not change as much. NDs clearly change, I don't know any trolls in real life but the internet is rife with them, so maybe the constant role switching is confusing for them, maybe NDs do struggle with masks and enjoy the illusion of anonymity.

 

[Christopher821]

For me the mask was being calm and cool to others until I mentally broke one day and that was when I was taught how to regulate feelings. I made the mask because I wrongly set all my trust in everybody (very bad move but it's typical of many Aspies from what I gathered) so I started holding all of my thoughts and feelings in myself (both bad and good) which destroyed me. The mask cracked and fell off.

 

[Suzanne]

he online world can be sort of a 'schools out' feeling - no more rules etc I can say what I want.

Never has been for me. I made a subconscious decision 15 year's ago ( since being properly online), that rules are the same what ever the situation and have maintained that.

However, to neurotypicals who actually know me, they have been shocked with the "online" me and "offline" me. So, I quickly made a decision to not associate much with anyone online, who I know offline, as that would give the impression of "falsehood" which is just not a reality. I am simply so much more eloquent online, than I am offline. My thoughts flow with more fluidity and I have time to think and not get stressed out and of course, no need to worry about eye contact.

As to the "masks" worn by both typical and diverse. Well, a spiritual brother summed it up perfectly, which I was terribly grateful for. He said: I guess what ever we feel, you aspies feel like 10 fold? And that is accurate.

 

[fuðflogi]

"Choose your masks and raise your armour
Eyes down for Cheraderama!" ~the legendary pink dots

 

[Buzzerfly]

I like where you're coming from fridge. Although, I can't tell what the eff you're sayin!

This place online seems different than others. I do notice ppl (NT and no) will cower/kiss ass with those on here with advanced positions in the world. No folks probably out of fear.

I have no social standing in the "real" world. Sometimes people try to eat me. On here, I can hold my own. Some autistics on this site actually use their mind and morals to perceive others! That's rare...and good.

I hope someone else understood what you said better!

Everyone wears a mask.

Neurodiverse to fit in socially.
Neurotypical to fit in socially.

The neurodiverse mask can often not be very good,slips and thoughts,deeds become evident.
The individual can then be made fun of,ostracized even.

The neurotypical - the same.I

There is a stress to maintaining the mask in the real world.

I'm wondering about the different purposes of the masks between neurotypical and neurodiverse.

How that behavior manifests in the only world.

Gross generalisation arrival time : next sentence.
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The neurotypical relief of acting without a mask can reveal the inconsiderate yahoo manifesting in a you tube comment, the thought without consideration.

Neurodiverse can be the same, but can it also be something more?

Ie people who are used to being honest direct ,normally, does their online behaviour (by this i mean sort of their level of thought and consideration towards others) change much in an online context?

The online world can be sort of a 'schools out' feeling - no more rules etc I can say what I want.

What am i aiming at?
Do you think there is a different response in the online world - NT vs ND - as a result of their different starting points in the real world?

Social pretence vs honesty moves online.....