Saur
Well-Known Member
Ah love... For once I felt it, for once I worked for it and for once I believed that everything in life was mostly perfect... Too bad it was online, too bad it only lasted 8 months, and too bad she felt she needed more closeness and ended up switching me for the guy who took her virginity just a week after our break-up... I'm over that really, it's just the things that came after that bother me...
I started looking for other girls, just as my online companion suggested... Two of them caught my particular attention, so I started approaching... When I realized that one of them was almost 7 years younger than me (I'm almost 23 currently), I gave up on her... The other one was slightly older, little less than 6 years difference, but it didn't bother me as much...
So I reached that 2nd girl in swimming class one day and did something I never did before... I confessed, face-to-face, a "crush" on her... I was already expecting rejection, but the thing is that we used to get along rather well, heck she was the very first non-family person I've hugged in my entire life... and now she barely talks or even looks at me, and when she does she has this strange gaze on her eyes, almost as if she was disgusted at me... She went out of the country for 6 months, so I won't worry about her any more...
I went to look for another girl instead... Focused on the 2nd oldest in my swimming class, who is also much younger than me (5 years and 2 months)... I've starting building the guts to go to her and ask her out on a date... At the very last moment, I lose my guts and stay quiet... This doesn't happen just with her, it happens with everyone, so basically by sticking nearby people, hearing what they have to say but never saying anything myself, I end up being seen as some paedophile stalker of some sort (At least I bet I do...)
So yeah, I'm back to my usual too shy, too quiet and too cowardly self, wondering if I'll ever go through the same experiences that everyone else seems to go through in their teen years... The one that bothers me the most is that I'm turning 23 in less than 3 months and I even haven't even gone through the experience of a first kiss yet...
Oh, did I mention that the online date is about to turn 19 and is already considering getting married to her new boyfriend and having some kids with him? Basically the same dreams she had about me... The guy's parents are frequent pot consumers, her boyfriend looks like a crack head, they all drink heavily and the two of them screw around with each other almost every day... I'm not interested in drugs or alcohol, and I can only be glad to know that she found her own happiness, but I still wish I have had the luck to start my social and love life that soon and quickly... If only I knew 6 years ago what I know today...
I started looking for other girls, just as my online companion suggested... Two of them caught my particular attention, so I started approaching... When I realized that one of them was almost 7 years younger than me (I'm almost 23 currently), I gave up on her... The other one was slightly older, little less than 6 years difference, but it didn't bother me as much...
So I reached that 2nd girl in swimming class one day and did something I never did before... I confessed, face-to-face, a "crush" on her... I was already expecting rejection, but the thing is that we used to get along rather well, heck she was the very first non-family person I've hugged in my entire life... and now she barely talks or even looks at me, and when she does she has this strange gaze on her eyes, almost as if she was disgusted at me... She went out of the country for 6 months, so I won't worry about her any more...
I went to look for another girl instead... Focused on the 2nd oldest in my swimming class, who is also much younger than me (5 years and 2 months)... I've starting building the guts to go to her and ask her out on a date... At the very last moment, I lose my guts and stay quiet... This doesn't happen just with her, it happens with everyone, so basically by sticking nearby people, hearing what they have to say but never saying anything myself, I end up being seen as some paedophile stalker of some sort (At least I bet I do...)
So yeah, I'm back to my usual too shy, too quiet and too cowardly self, wondering if I'll ever go through the same experiences that everyone else seems to go through in their teen years... The one that bothers me the most is that I'm turning 23 in less than 3 months and I even haven't even gone through the experience of a first kiss yet...
Oh, did I mention that the online date is about to turn 19 and is already considering getting married to her new boyfriend and having some kids with him? Basically the same dreams she had about me... The guy's parents are frequent pot consumers, her boyfriend looks like a crack head, they all drink heavily and the two of them screw around with each other almost every day... I'm not interested in drugs or alcohol, and I can only be glad to know that she found her own happiness, but I still wish I have had the luck to start my social and love life that soon and quickly... If only I knew 6 years ago what I know today...
