Looking for Support

[Carrie`]

Hello Everyone,
I'm in need of support. My long distance boyfriend broke up with me unexpectedly weeks. He is somewhere on the spectrum. We'd been in this relationship for almost 2 years, visiting each other as often as we could. We've continuously become closer and everything was beautiful. It was our plan that in around 5 years, I would move closer to him.

We were discussing that, both sharing our excitement and also our concerns. We talked about how our bond would carry us through to that time.

Then the next day he called me and said that he couldn't see how it would logically work out for me to leave my family and move so far away and that he couldn't handle everything, so he made the decision to end our relationship even though he would always love me and miss me.

I am completely devastated. Has anyone else been through this? I keep blaming myself. I am so sad and broken.

 

[tree]

There are some threads on a similar topic.

Abandoned by AS boyfriend, is this common??

My ex boyfriend is Asperger and he's broken up with me..again

The most incredible guy I have ever met

Also, a link to a book on NT/ASD relationships>
Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome

 

[Pats]

Are you also on the spectrum? He may have had a sudden realization of the added responsibilities that he probably would not be able to handle.
My son in law almost took a job in Texas. I told him I was happy for him and thought the experience would be good for them, but also added that he would be taking more on himself. Things like he would have people at work, but his wife would have no one but him and things like that.

 

[Carrie`]

Are you also on the spectrum? He may have had a sudden realization of the added responsibilities that he probably would not be able to handle.
My son in law almost took a job in Texas. I told him I was happy for him and thought the experience would be good for them, but also added that he would be taking more on himself. Things like he would have people at work, but his wife would have no one but him and things like that.

Thank you for reaching out to me. I am not on the spectrum. I am trying so hard to understand this. I'll keep reading good information as I try to keep my life together.

 

[Xerces Blue]

I think this is one of 2 things.
Either he doesn't want to take on more responsibilities - helping you make a new support web without your family and friends
or he's trying to let you down easy.

If it were me. If you address each concern one by one with reasoned arguments then I would ask you to take me back.
Otherwise there will be resistance and at least you will know a bit more

Good luck

 

[Carrie`]

I think this is one of 2 things.
Either he doesn't want to take on more responsibilities - helping you make a new support web without your family and friends
or he's trying to let you down easy.

If it were me. If you address each concern one by one with reasoned arguments then I would ask you to take me back.
Otherwise there will be resistance and at least you will know a bit more

Good luck

Thank you for this. I'm grieving the loss.