righan
Active Member
Hello. I hope you are all well.
I am here with the hopes that I might find people who can help me sort through information and get some better answers than I have found on my own.
As you might have guessed, I have not been diagnosed as ASD, but I suspect that it might be a possibility. (otherwise, why would I be here?). I am in my 40's and while I have always had certain eccentricities and learning challenges, I also have a high IQ and have largely been able to compensate.
Of course, since Aspie wasn't even a diagnosis until 1994, I was out of high school before it was something I could be diagnosed with. I was, however, diagnosed ADD but the drugs they gave me simply heightened my emotional state and made me aggressive/destructive, so I was taken off it.
I do remember that shortly after that time, someone mentioned Aspie to me as a diagnosis - maybe a college counselor or a therapist, I'm not sure who - and although from what I knew of the symptoms it fit pretty well. I've had sort of defacto assumption for the past 20 years that I was Aspie, but it has never really been of high importance to me to get more into it than that. I assumed it was behind my eccentricities, but I had developed (for the most part) systems for dealing with them and so it was never important whether I was actually Aspie or part of my identity. It was just 'me' and the stuff that was inconvenient was 'solved' ... such as my wife dealing with strangers, because they vex me.
One of my strengths, however, has always been an exceptional long term memory. For instance, at work a client would come talk to me after four years and I would remember exactly who they were, and what I did for them, even if it was very minor.
About six years ago, my memory started faltering, among other issues. So I went to a neurologist for help and they had me tested. Of course, I made the mistake of telling the testing person that I had previously been diagnosed with ADD .... after being told that, he told his testing person to change some of the tests, and guess what ... the result was that I have ADHD. No solution on the issues that I went there for.
They put me back on Adderall ... and it does nothing for the brain deficit's they found ... such as working memory issues ... but it does help with mental fatigue, so I use it. But I have to stay at a low dose, otherwise it makes it hard to concentrate and makes me impulsive and increases emotional and sensory stimuli and so I get anxious because I'm overloaded. (So my full dose GIVES me ADHD symptoms... hmmmm)
This whole thing, however, re-opened the idea of looking at my brain and understanding myself and how I work. About whether I have ADHD and/or something else.
While not directly relevant - I also have a different condition called Cystic Fibrosis, which is a disease which is fatal and will result in lots of hospital stays and doctor care as it progresses. It is currently getting to that point where I need more hospital stays and I see lots of different doctors. My eccentricities are starting to become a complication for hospital stays and doctor care - such as doctors who want to change my diet and don't understand that the fact that I have eaten the same meals every week for the past six years isn't just because that's 'what I like' or 'I'm picky' ... or the fact that I wear essentially the same outfit all the time isn't just a style choice ... so when I'm not willing to wear hospital gowns during a hospital stay, its not a 'choice'.
So a year ago, I was talking to a friend who has known me for 20 years, and she told me I was an Aspie. I asked her why she thought that, and she said it was because I was just like her husband who is formally diagnosed as an Aspie. That reminded me that someone had mentioned Aspie for me a long time ago, so I started looking into seeing someone about it ... and discovered there are no adult specialists in my area ... and the internet said that its very difficult for adults to get diagnosed, particularly if they have already been diagnosed with ADHD due to its similarities to ASD. That you have to build up a good case for why you think you are Aspie before you go see someone.
So, the past year I've been studying both ASD and ADHD, as well as brain deficits in general, and trying to analyze myself independently of the conditions ... and I've accumulated a lot of information, one of the most important details being that I have been using certain words and concepts in a different way than those who test do ... so I've answered their questions wrong over the years. However, one of the big issues, is that a lot of info is conflicting ... if you read the right articles, ADHD is described as having a lot of the same symptoms as Aspie ....
So right now I'm honestly not clear whether I am an Aspie with ADHD .... or simply someone with ADHD ... but I want to be honest with myself. I don't trust a doctor to be objective ... and I honestly don't trust the tests ... I don't doubt the objective data ... but I doubt the interpretation. As someone who has spent an entire life with doctors, I have watched them be wrong about a diagnosis about things multiple times. Interpretations of data is not always correct ... and doctors usually aren't looking for truth ... they just want you out of their office. When you hear hoof beats think horses, not zebras. Good advice, except some times the answer is a zebra.
So, after all of that, my hope is to participate in discussions with people here, learn more about ASD symptoms from people with the condition here and to present/ask about some of my experiences and symptoms and get perspectives all with the intent of gaining clarity and truth. I want to be honest with myself first, but ultimately, if I am Aspie, I want to put together a good approach/argument I can take to a therapist/neurologist and make a decent case to pursue a formal diagnosis/testing.
Thank you in advance.
I am here with the hopes that I might find people who can help me sort through information and get some better answers than I have found on my own.
As you might have guessed, I have not been diagnosed as ASD, but I suspect that it might be a possibility. (otherwise, why would I be here?). I am in my 40's and while I have always had certain eccentricities and learning challenges, I also have a high IQ and have largely been able to compensate.
Of course, since Aspie wasn't even a diagnosis until 1994, I was out of high school before it was something I could be diagnosed with. I was, however, diagnosed ADD but the drugs they gave me simply heightened my emotional state and made me aggressive/destructive, so I was taken off it.
I do remember that shortly after that time, someone mentioned Aspie to me as a diagnosis - maybe a college counselor or a therapist, I'm not sure who - and although from what I knew of the symptoms it fit pretty well. I've had sort of defacto assumption for the past 20 years that I was Aspie, but it has never really been of high importance to me to get more into it than that. I assumed it was behind my eccentricities, but I had developed (for the most part) systems for dealing with them and so it was never important whether I was actually Aspie or part of my identity. It was just 'me' and the stuff that was inconvenient was 'solved' ... such as my wife dealing with strangers, because they vex me.
One of my strengths, however, has always been an exceptional long term memory. For instance, at work a client would come talk to me after four years and I would remember exactly who they were, and what I did for them, even if it was very minor.
About six years ago, my memory started faltering, among other issues. So I went to a neurologist for help and they had me tested. Of course, I made the mistake of telling the testing person that I had previously been diagnosed with ADD .... after being told that, he told his testing person to change some of the tests, and guess what ... the result was that I have ADHD. No solution on the issues that I went there for.
They put me back on Adderall ... and it does nothing for the brain deficit's they found ... such as working memory issues ... but it does help with mental fatigue, so I use it. But I have to stay at a low dose, otherwise it makes it hard to concentrate and makes me impulsive and increases emotional and sensory stimuli and so I get anxious because I'm overloaded. (So my full dose GIVES me ADHD symptoms... hmmmm)
This whole thing, however, re-opened the idea of looking at my brain and understanding myself and how I work. About whether I have ADHD and/or something else.
While not directly relevant - I also have a different condition called Cystic Fibrosis, which is a disease which is fatal and will result in lots of hospital stays and doctor care as it progresses. It is currently getting to that point where I need more hospital stays and I see lots of different doctors. My eccentricities are starting to become a complication for hospital stays and doctor care - such as doctors who want to change my diet and don't understand that the fact that I have eaten the same meals every week for the past six years isn't just because that's 'what I like' or 'I'm picky' ... or the fact that I wear essentially the same outfit all the time isn't just a style choice ... so when I'm not willing to wear hospital gowns during a hospital stay, its not a 'choice'.
So a year ago, I was talking to a friend who has known me for 20 years, and she told me I was an Aspie. I asked her why she thought that, and she said it was because I was just like her husband who is formally diagnosed as an Aspie. That reminded me that someone had mentioned Aspie for me a long time ago, so I started looking into seeing someone about it ... and discovered there are no adult specialists in my area ... and the internet said that its very difficult for adults to get diagnosed, particularly if they have already been diagnosed with ADHD due to its similarities to ASD. That you have to build up a good case for why you think you are Aspie before you go see someone.
So, the past year I've been studying both ASD and ADHD, as well as brain deficits in general, and trying to analyze myself independently of the conditions ... and I've accumulated a lot of information, one of the most important details being that I have been using certain words and concepts in a different way than those who test do ... so I've answered their questions wrong over the years. However, one of the big issues, is that a lot of info is conflicting ... if you read the right articles, ADHD is described as having a lot of the same symptoms as Aspie ....
So right now I'm honestly not clear whether I am an Aspie with ADHD .... or simply someone with ADHD ... but I want to be honest with myself. I don't trust a doctor to be objective ... and I honestly don't trust the tests ... I don't doubt the objective data ... but I doubt the interpretation. As someone who has spent an entire life with doctors, I have watched them be wrong about a diagnosis about things multiple times. Interpretations of data is not always correct ... and doctors usually aren't looking for truth ... they just want you out of their office. When you hear hoof beats think horses, not zebras. Good advice, except some times the answer is a zebra.
So, after all of that, my hope is to participate in discussions with people here, learn more about ASD symptoms from people with the condition here and to present/ask about some of my experiences and symptoms and get perspectives all with the intent of gaining clarity and truth. I want to be honest with myself first, but ultimately, if I am Aspie, I want to put together a good approach/argument I can take to a therapist/neurologist and make a decent case to pursue a formal diagnosis/testing.
Thank you in advance.
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