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lonely and desperate

ty everyone for the support. my mom is doing okay for now; she's taking hormones and getting infusions every month. she probably has 7 or 8 months before that stops working, then she tries another treatment. thank goodness she has medicaid. what's hard is the uncertainty and that my cptsd came from other medical trauma issues when taking care of my grandparrents and my uncle died of cancer last year. i hope i don't get cancer. my uncle put off seeing a dr until he had a big growth on his neck. my mom went in at the 1st sign of breast cancer but found it had already matastized.
SusanLR said:
I have been going through the same thing for the past four years since my Mom died of cancer. I had no friends or family to turn to either and it's been very frightening.
That feeling of knowing you are left alone in the world with no love hits it spot on.
I couldn't stand the thought of living alone so I moved in with an elderly man that needed help and pay rent for living in a wing of his big house. He is a grumpy, scolding type which is not what I need to help my feeling lost alone.

Do you feel afraid to live alone with just yourself as I do?
I also have physical disabilities and shouldn't anyway.
I certainly hope you find a better way to face this than I did. Other people just doesn't fill the void for me.
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sorry you went through this too. i'm on disability for several mental health issues but can and do live alone. i hope you find friends who are more supportive than the old man you can live with.
 
Blue said:
i've had dreams of jumping off a cliff after my mom and grand
ma, who i take care of are gone. my grandma died last year and my mom has cancer. i'm terrified of being left alone in the world with no one to love me. but i haven't even made friends in 20 years. every passing year the world seems bleaker. i've never even kissed a girl.
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Hi Blue. Welcome to AC!!!

It is horrible that you have been through so many difficulties in recent times. I know that it is very discouraging to go through hard times. You have done a good thing by coming to this site, because it can help you to feel less lonely. This can help keep up your spirits to allow you to keep going and stop dreaming of hurting yourself.

Many of us here have also gone through hard times, so we know how to be supportive to others who need it. I understand something of what you are going through, because I lost my Dad last year. I am praying for you and your Mom.
 
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Blue, I am so glad to hear you can live alone. I think that will be a great strength for you during this time.
I am on disability for several issues too. And I HAVE been through a very serious cancer myself. Now a seven year survivor. A rare form of liver cancer that had no treatment except surgery. So I know we can be survivors through many things.
Right now I'm trying to get through the emotional loss part.
If I were able to live alone, I would be glad for that much.
Start planning now as we need a roadmap.
I send you all the best energy and caring.
You can be a survivor too. Lots of good people here care and anytime you like to talk or vent. They are here, so am I. Always.
 
Blue said:
i've had dreams of jumping off a cliff after my mom and grand
ma, who i take care of are gone. my grandma died last year and my mom has cancer. i'm terrified of being left alone in the world with no one to love me. but i haven't even made friends in 20 years. every passing year the world seems bleaker. i've never even kissed a girl.
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I don't want to offend you, but find a Bible and start reading it. The one that made us is always near. And if you don't believe what can it hurt to read and find out what Christians do believe? Also, think about what how upset your mom and grandma would be if you did jump off a cliff. Also you can visit www.aspergerexperts.com and they talk a lot about fear and loneliness and ways to cope and even have a better life! They have many free videos and articles that may help you. I wish you all the best!
 
I know how it feels I've lived that way my whole life ive lost about three family members to cancer on my dads side of the family so I had to find a way to fill that so I started going to church learning that Jesus was like me alone had very little friends and suffered the way he did and then dying himself even though he did nothing wrong he paid my penalty for death so when I think of that I found the one friend who has never left me or forsaken me as I got older earthly relationships are just as important I started going to Calvary chapel I do wish the best this is just my story of how living with Aspergers has shown me some things.
 
Blue, I'm sorry that you are travelling this difficult road but in between the lines you sound like a survivor and hopefully with the help of this forum and the wonderful people sharing their experiences along with the chat rooms will help you along when the darkness sets in and it's difficult to find your way. I am fortunate for I have two wonderful children and a grandchild who give me a reason to wake up every morning. But also I have my cat. I prefer animals over people, and I'm sure there are many here on this forum who feel the same. Animals love us unconditionally and are a lot more intelligent and sensitive than those who do not have pets understand. Of course, nothing will ever take the place of a beloved grandparent or parent but a pet is the next best thing. Even volunteering at a shelter may help for the people generally leave you alone and you can "socialize" the dogs and cats who sorely need a bit of attention. Just my thoughts, but am truly keeping you in my thoughts and am so happy you have found this site.
 
ty all for the support. i don't think my meds are working anymore. meds never help more than a few months. i've been feeling really lonely, depressed and anxious lately.
 
Blue said:
ty all for the support. i don't think my meds are working anymore. meds never help more than a few months. i've been feeling really lonely, depressed and anxious lately.
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Could you get a Fullwork up ( medical )by a doctor ?can you afford that? it could be that you have Thyroid problems it could be a lack of vitamin b,usually b6 or b3 probably Iodine
 
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