Listing dominance moves

[Poppy98]

- keeping someone waiting while you take your time
- talk to the hand: putting your hand up when the person is talking but then making an obviously untrue or unfit statement
- putting up your finger when someone starts a conversation with you and avoiding eye contact to further avoid you
- saying something untrue and easily disprovable and then saying "I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU."

-insulting someone and unconvincingly saying "just kidding" so that you can pretend any aspect of your middle school behavior was acceptable
- waking people up knowingly
-blatantly ignoring people when they ask you to be appropriate
- slamming doors hard enough to shake the moon and stomping like an inebriated rhino because if you're not slamming stuff like a tot noone would think of you wouldn't get attention when you want to dominate from afar
-cutting someone off verbally
-consistently yelling over someone
- punishing boundaries: going off on someone for having boundaries
-nitpicking
-excessive and (intentionally) pedantic questioning
 -

 

[Hypnalis]

Those aren't all dominance moves, or aren't always dominance moves. Context matters.

For example some of them are regularly used by people who are genuinely delusional (which includes probably 25% of the adult US population) to defend their false beliefs. You can think of them as routines used to deal efficiently with cognitive dissonance.

In general that's not a dominance game. It's people who have a mild mental illness who are protecting their illness.

It's like someone who's over-committed in an argument, shown that they're wrong, and can't back down and apologize or withdraw: a version of the "sunken cost fallacy" in a slightly different context.

(Slightly off topic):
Defending false beliefs is so much a natural human behavior that it probably has some evolutionary value (e.g. perhaps it's good for cultural coherence and consistency over time).
Which would make it interesting for Aspies, because that's one of the things that interferes with ND/NT communication and (IMO anyway) drives early ND masking).

 

[Judge]

Have to agree that context matters. Particularly considering another thread created by the OP, discussing the social dynamics of a tenant versus their landlord. A scenario which inherently involves dominance as one party can clearly leverage the other party having not said a word.

That a seemingly hostile gesture, unkind word or even being passive-aggressive does not in itself manifest dominance IMO. That there clearly has to bring more to such a conversation to imply one party gaining control over the other, short one of them "bringing a knife to a gunfight".

Otherwise the proximate cause of such a disagreement may simply amount to a clash of egos.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Context:

Human dominance behaviors come in many forms, but the ones I tend to admire the most are:
1. The leader of a group who was quietly "elected" to be the leader, without any formal process. They are very personable, positive people, the people who just "naturally" attract others around them. They don't take leadership; they are given it passively.
2. The person who walks into a room with a quiet air of confidence, bright eyed, receptive... like they somehow own the place, but are welcoming to your presence. The person who walks into a room, and people quietly notice.
3. The person who is calm, relaxed, helpful, and positive even if the situation is a total "dumpster fire".
4. The person who puts his team ahead of him/her. "Leaders eat last" sort of people. A sort of paternal/maternal "I will take care of you" approach.
5. The person who projects "calm assertiveness". Will stand their ground and progress forward decisively until you give way... often without them, or you having to say a word.

P.S. If someone has to remind others that they are the king... they really aren't the king. extension://hdppkjifljbdpckfajcmlblbchhledln/bcr.html?bcr=

 

[Hypnalis]

@Neonatal RRT

In case you haven't seen this video:

(Scene analysis if Tywin and Joffrey in the throne room)

 

[thejuice]

Defending false beliefs is so much a natural human behavior that it probably has some evolutionary value (e.g. perhaps it's good for cultural coherence and consistency over time).
Which would make it interesting for Aspies, because that's one of the things that interferes with ND/NT communication and (IMO anyway) drives early ND masking).

Yes I think ND's mask their critical thinking skills to blend in, and therefore survive as part of the pack, in a society rife with tactful deception and self denying idealism. Its only in very narrow, usually professional fields, where an aspie's logic might be valued. Think of all the times your nonsense detector goes off but you learned through negative conditioning to keep quiet in order to maintain the mass social delusion. There is an unspoken agreement in society that an illusory peace is preferable to sincere conflict.

 

[Poppy98]

Context:

Human dominance behaviors come in many forms, but the ones I tend to admire the most are:
1. The leader of a group who was quietly "elected" to be the leader, without any formal process. They are very personable, positive people, the people who just "naturally" attract others around them. They don't take leadership; they are given it passively.
2. The person who walks into a room with a quiet air of confidence, bright eyed, receptive... like they somehow own the place, but are welcoming to your presence. The person who walks into a room, and people quietly notice.
3. The person who is calm, relaxed, helpful, and positive even if the situation is a total "dumpster fire".
4. The person who puts his team ahead of him/her. "Leaders eat last" sort of people. A sort of paternal/maternal "I will take care of you" approach.
5. The person who projects "calm assertiveness". Will stand their ground and progress forward decisively until you give way... often without them, or you having to say a word.

P.S. If someone has to remind others that they are the king... they really aren't the king. extension://hdppkjifljbdpckfajcmlblbchhledln/bcr.html?bcr=

Definitely, genuine leadership skills are certainly better to use than toxic domination techniques.

It's good to be able to recognize both types.

 

[Poppy98]

An illusory peace is preferable to honest conflict.

Accurrate.

 

[Poppy98]

It's like someone who's over-committed in an argument, shown that they're wrong, and can't back down and apologize or withdraw: a version of the "sunken cost fallacy" in a slightly different context.

I've often seen this between supervisors and workers. I suspect that the dynamic is that the worker is trying to defend their actions in a misguided attempt to protect themselves. I think self-defense and dominance tend to tie into one another.

 

[Poppy98]

Have to agree that context matters. Particularly considering another thread created by the OP, discussing the social dynamics of a tenant versus their landlord. A scenario which inherently involves dominance as one party can clearly leverage the other party having not said a word

It took me a couple of reads to follow, but yes, actual power is very important.


This is a log more of the symptoms than the diagnoses of power.

 

[Poppy98]

Context:

Human dominance behaviors come in many forms, but the ones I tend to admire the most are:
1. The leader of a group who was quietly "elected" to be the leader, without any formal process. They are very personable, positive people, the people who just "naturally" attract others around them. They don't take leadership; they are given it passively.
2. The person who walks into a room with a quiet air of confidence, bright eyed, receptive... like they somehow own the place, but are welcoming to your presence. The person who walks into a room, and people quietly notice.
3. The person who is calm, relaxed, helpful, and positive even if the situation is a total "dumpster fire".
4. The person who puts his team ahead of him/her. "Leaders eat last" sort of people. A sort of paternal/maternal "I will take care of you" approach.
5. The person who projects "calm assertiveness". Will stand their ground and progress forward decisively until you give way... often without them, or you having to say a word.

P.S. If someone has to remind others that they are the king... they really aren't the king. extension://hdppkjifljbdpckfajcmlblbchhledln/bcr.html?bcr=

Oooh now I get why a self- proclaimed "master manipulator" loved that show. There's a bit of a manipulative theme to the show.