Life after being diagnosed/or self diagnose

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm no longer concerned about my experience. Just let others know what to expect. I really enjoyed my career
It's all water under the bridge now. The guy I trained as an under study is now a manager, I wish him luck hopefully.
he can transfer the knowledge to the sister plants. As early as last month a competitor here in Canada checked out my LinkedIn profile. nothing to see there I'M retired.

 

[The Pandector]

i have to wonder if i had known i was autistic my whole life would i have even achieved what little i did?
Not knowing, i constantly fought back, pushed myself beyond others, and did the best i could. But the whole time i never really stood a chance.
Now that i know, i've been relieved of the burden and shame of not fitting in and blunt of my multiple failures.
On the other hand, i don't fight back anymore. Or...hardly at all. Now i am seeking to be accepted for what i am, and it's not just some guy with autism and is a little different. A lifetime of dealing with autism without knowing has left me a broken person to a degree most would not want to interact with. This leaves me to keep pretending to be a person and trying to get along on their terms. However, i'm at a point i just don't care anymore.

I am in the same boat @Wolfiedog. Worked through the entire blizzard before ever knowing the nature of my situation. I have wondered the exact same thing. Even doubting that I would have had children. In hindsight I can say it was good I undertook the things I did, but I don’t think I would have jumped into challenges the way I did had I known. Finding out after my children are raised, my wife is passed, careers ended… I am still working out my bitterness, as though it was all a dirty trick.

I always knew I didn’t see things like most people do, so prayed trustingly that I would not be deceived. I also prayed all my life that the Lord would give me understanding of people and why I’m so different. I believe he protected me from deception, and now finally he has revealed to me my difference. So I have nothing to complain about, and can only assume the Lord had his reasons for keeping me in the dark despite several efforts to the contrary.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

When I figured out what was really going on I was well into my fifties Imagine if Albert Einstein had figured out why he spent all that time in a patent office, or nobody had seen his article in that obscure German physics magazine. Pretty sure he was one of us. Same with Tesla. Dirac, and many others. Ignore us at your detriment.

 

[The Pandector]

When I figured out what was really going on I was well into my fifties Imagine if Albert Einstein had figured out why he spent all that time in a patent office, or nobody had seen his article in that obscure German physics magazine. Pretty sure he was one of us. Same with Tesla. Dirac, and many others. Ignore us at your detriment.

Let’s not forget Microsoft.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Let’s not forget Microsoft.

You mean Bill gates, part of my generation born same year as me best year to get born for computers 1955.

 

[Wolfiedog]

I am in the same boat @Wolfiedog. Worked through the entire blizzard before ever knowing the nature of my situation. I have wondered the exact same thing. Even doubting that I would have had children. In hindsight I can say it was good I undertook the things I did, but I don’t think I would have jumped into challenges the way I did had I known. Finding out after my children are raised, my wife is passed, careers ended… I am still working out my bitterness, as though it was all a dirty trick.

I always knew I didn’t see things like most people do, so prayed trustingly that I would not be deceived. I also prayed all my life that the Lord would give me understanding of people and why I’m so different. I believe he protected me from deception, and now finally he has revealed to me my difference. So I have nothing to complain about, and can only assume the Lord had his reasons for keeping me in the dark despite several efforts to the contrary.

At least you had children to help out in your old age. At least i assume they will.
It wasn't a cruel joke. Seems like it, i know. It crossed my mind many times over the decades.
If nothing else, you came out the other side quite strong. It's a strength neurotypical people will never understand or know is possible.
There are people who will have money and popularity. But in the end they can't hold a candle to the strength and fortitude you are built of.

 

[vergil96]

Tbh it hasn't been a long time yet, so I don't know yet how it's going to turn out. So far I've made some changes that helped me feel more at ease and/or less overwhelmed due to becoming aware of sensory issues and overstimulation. Just small changes that help a lot

 

[AdamG]

I just self diagnosed a couple weeks ago. It has been shaky, and I tend to push myself hard. Yesterday I could barely speak.

I consider it to be like the original post said, a different perspective. I'm figuring out that I've always been like this, and I've masked hard and assimilated hard and it never worked. I think the major thing is that finally I'm starting to accept my limitations. And stop thinking so negative, which makes my words nicer.

Still processing, so .. that's about it for now.

 

[Trix]

I've only received my diagnosis last week, after a lifetime of suffering and quite frankly a lifetime of magical moments, too. Plus, I gotta give myself credit for making it this far, I think.
I am trying to process but I switch between the 'look forward and see if you can still make something out of your life' and the 'well... what's the point' type of feel.
I don't know how life will be from now, it's not like all the trauma and past experiences are all of a sudden gone or different now. It's just a new curve ball and I like the moments where I get hopeful. The idea that I could be hopeful after all these years, is a very strange feeling. I try to embrace it and again 'look forward', but it's gonna take some time.

My therapist asked me last week, how I would like to be identified as. Having it or being it. I don't know. I think I just am.

And that's ok, right?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

perfect , no point defining yourself by a label after all you are not a label.

 

[eg3210]

I've only received my diagnosis last week, after a lifetime of suffering and quite frankly a lifetime of magical moments, too. Plus, I gotta give myself credit for making it this far, I think.
I am trying to process but I switch between the 'look forward and see if you can still make something out of your life' and the 'well... what's the point' type of feel.
I don't know how life will be from now, it's not like all the trauma and past experiences are all of a sudden gone or different now. It's just a new curve ball and I like the moments where I get hopeful. The idea that I could be hopeful after all these years, is a very strange feeling. I try to embrace it and again 'look forward', but it's gonna take some time.

My therapist asked me last week, how I would like to be identified as. Having it or being it. I don't know. I think I just am.

And that's ok, right?

Of course that's ok! You can identify yourself in any way you like and it's all ok. It's you.

It's shocking when you finally have an answer to all these seemingly unrelated questions.
It will take some time and like you said it won't fix past trama but it might help explain some stuff and might help you feel better about yourself. I know I felt relief when I finally realized there want anything "wrong" with me

 

[ithinktheniexist]

Suspected myself few months back, did tons of tests, and got a friends test feedback. Not one of them exluded me from the spectrum. But I couldn't quite accept it, even though my life haven't change a bit and nothing is going to be different in the future, I still find it very upsetting that I couldn't figure why and how to deal with.

It is hard to find support in my city, but I am trying to tough up and reach out...