Led on for Months and hurt

[JoeSF4]

I’ve been talking to this girl who I felt was absolutely beautiful and I really thought we hit it off in the beginning. She recently told me she was seeing someone after months of leading me on but being distant at the same time. This was after I asked her to hang out. I sent this message to her after ———

“It would have been cool if you let me know from the start. We were setting up plans to go out and you just stopped answering me. Eventually you told me that you were worried about someone leaving you after the first few dates and that you were struggling with your mental health. I assured you that I wouldn’t leave you and gave you some space due to your mental health and even offered to be there anytime if you needed someone to talk to. All this time when I thought you were just being distant because you were dealing with your own problems, you were really seeing someone else. Also you literally just tried to tell me you’re always working when I work significantly more hours than you do and you tell me about going kayaking and to baseball games. I know you told me the truth after that but that just stacked on top of your dishonesty from before that. So you just wasted my time instead of being honest from the beginning.”

She responded with “laughing emoji’s“ which was very ignorant and hurtful as she just completely brushed off what I had to say. I just wanted to be loved by someone and I feel so alone now as she has been the only person I’ve been speaking to. And I was always nice and treated her with the upmost respect. It physically hurts my heart. I know this probably seems like a get over it type of thing. I just really thought she was the one. I don’t know what I thought I was going to accomplish with sending this response to her but I just wanted her to know how I felt about her leading me on.

I responded back about her immaturity and stated several instances of it and I admit I was kinda mean about it as i was hurt and I guess wanted her to hurt back and just wanted her to realize that she was in the wrong.

She proceeded to tell me to go die in a hole and I blocked her after that.

I just feel I’ll never find another girl as beautiful as her and know I’ve wasted so much time pursuing her. I already passively want to die just from my life I’m general and this just makes it so much worse. I can’t endure the pain and loneliness much longer. A part of me knows ill be better off dead.

”

 

[Gerontius]

I’ve been talking to this girl who I felt was absolutely beautiful and I really thought we hit it off in the beginning. She recently told me she was seeing someone after months of leading me on but being distant at the same time. This was after I asked her to hang out. I sent this message to her after ———

“It would have been cool if you let me know from the start. We were setting up plans to go out and you just stopped answering me. Eventually you told me that you were worried about someone leaving you after the first few dates and that you were struggling with your mental health. I assured you that I wouldn’t leave you and gave you some space due to your mental health and even offered to be there anytime if you needed someone to talk to. All this time when I thought you were just being distant because you were dealing with your own problems, you were really seeing someone else. Also you literally just tried to tell me you’re always working when I work significantly more hours than you do and you tell me about going kayaking and to baseball games. I know you told me the truth after that but that just stacked on top of your dishonesty from before that. So you just wasted my time instead of being honest from the beginning.”

She responded with “laughing emoji’s“ which was very ignorant and hurtful as she just completely brushed off what I had to say. I just wanted to be loved by someone and I feel so alone now as she has been the only person I’ve been speaking to. And I was always nice and treated her with the upmost respect. It physically hurts my heart. I know this probably seems like a get over it type of thing. I just really thought she was the one. I don’t know what I thought I was going to accomplish with sending this response to her but I just wanted her to know how I felt about her leading me on.

I responded back about her immaturity and stated several instances of it and I admit I was kinda mean about it as i was hurt and I guess wanted her to hurt back and just wanted her to realize that she was in the wrong.

She proceeded to tell me to go die in a hole and I blocked her after that.

I just feel I’ll never find another girl as beautiful as her and know I’ve wasted so much time pursuing her. I already passively want to die just from my life I’m general and this just makes it so much worse. I can’t endure the pain and loneliness much longer. A part of me knows ill be better off dead.

”

Just thinking aloud here but anyone ugly on the inside is not the one you should spend time with.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Well, you have found out that beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Learn about personality and values. You have just had a valuable lesson.

 

[Jacks Brain]

You've got a case of what is called "one-itis." There is no one woman that is the only woman for you. There are many that you could work with, and they all have ups and downs. I tend to think most guys who end up in relationships found a way to love what was available, instead of fixating on one woman and shooting for the stars.

In the end, beauty is often fleeting and there are many ways to lose it. Your hottie might not even be all that hot in a few years. Or a few months. I've seen it happen. "Unattainable" to "hard no" in just a few years, and while young too.

 

[Rodafina]

This sounds very hurtful. I hope you are able to move past these raw and terrible feelings and start to have hope again.

Sometimes, it feels like things will never change, but time can really help heal this kind of wound.

It’s time to take care of yourself now and do things that make you feel calm, comfortable, and strengthened. You have been through a hellish experience, but you can heal from this.

 

[Boogs]

It's also worth remembering that when put on the spot, people will do all sorts things, and it can be impossible to know what it is and where they are coming from. Some will respond in the most vile way, because deep down they know they did wrong, and can't face an honest conversation about it, in fact, are in denial that it was their responsibility for what happened, or just want to get you out of their life as fast and firmly as possible due to that inner knowledge of what they did and their desire to forget they did it.

But in the end, if someone can respond like that, whatever the reality of the situation, they will almost certainly do it again. It may hurt now, but it's the best thing for you, to avoid someone who's mentality is so toxic, and who's maturity is so diminished. It seems to me, they are the one's with relationship issues, far more than yourself.