I agree, in general. One exception I see is that autistic people often don't know the norms. Another is that the norms vary from one person to the next. Autistic people are often not good at picking up clues as to whether the other person is just having fun, putting up with you because they are afraid to say they aren't enjoying it, or taking it seriously.I'd go with "underthinking".
Nothing you've said indicates you have any reason for guilt or remorse. so:
A. You may be doing things worthy of those reactions, but haven't made it clear here. I don't mean you should add details, but "leading people on" is routine in the 21st century. Trading attention for indications of some future benefit (short term or long term) is no more or less bad than "dating for the free food".
So there's no sign so far of any bad behavior on your side.
B. You may be reacting to being taught or old that generally normal 21st century behavior isn't acceptable for you. There's a lot of this going around. Pay no attention to traditional behavioral principles in the dating space - the old rules are long gone.. Apply the "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" principle.
Social media runs on attention and validation (among other things, many of which are worse). Based on what you've said, you're a typical participant, well within 21st century norms.. Possibly with some unresolved contradictions due to (B).
I'd suggest you try to make an accurate judgement of your own online behavior, based on:
1. From (A), are you within current norms?
2. From (B), are you reacting to learned moral standards that are no longer relevant in society as a whole?
3. Are you uncomfortable with your cations because you're violating your own "internal" moral standards?
If it's (1) or (2), lose the guilt
If it's (3), stop doing what makes you uncomfortable. "Fighting yourself" isn't good.
Society as a whole has very few universal norms. Norms in rural Iowa are a million miles from norms in San Francisco.