Hello all! I was officially diagnosed last year with Asperger's near the age of forty.
It's a relief, really, as I've lived my life trying to "rule myself" into fitting into society and its expectations well. Putting on the social face and playing the games until exhaustion. Getting married and divorced. Crippling addictions to cope. I have an "Aspie job" as a software engineer, though, so at least there's one enduring positive.
I've become accepting of myself now that I know who I am. I'm thankful for the internet, and this community, to help inspire me to get my diagnosis and give me the contact I needed. I cannot imagine being isolated and shunned as in the decades before.
All that said: I want to drop my NT act. If the stakes are not high enough to put on a face, then I won't anymore. I simply don't want to play the games when it is often not worth the effort.
I've also aquired some damaging coping mechanisms over the years. I shook off smoking and drug abuse, but I still suffer from overeating and video game addiction. These are a mental prison: they keep me pacified but helpless.
I've tried to kick my addictions many times in the years before they always come roaring back, no matter what I've tried: theraputic drugs, one on one talks, group talks, 12 step, throwing out the computer, and so on. They've noticibly weakened since I've started aligning to myself and I think progressing along that path will allow them to fall away completely.
Now to my question: are there any guidebooks or resources out there for living an Aspie life par excellence? I've found plenty on fitting in and understanding NT social rules but, while those books are certainly important, it's not my interest to fit in anymore.
Instead I'm searching for something that is like an Aspie self-help book on being an Aspie, while understanding we are all a bit different. It would primarily contain information on living well, self-improvement, and better understanding of Aspie nature with the goal of feeling more satisfied and at peace.
Any ideas or resources that you think would help me on my search are much appreciated.
It's a relief, really, as I've lived my life trying to "rule myself" into fitting into society and its expectations well. Putting on the social face and playing the games until exhaustion. Getting married and divorced. Crippling addictions to cope. I have an "Aspie job" as a software engineer, though, so at least there's one enduring positive.
I've become accepting of myself now that I know who I am. I'm thankful for the internet, and this community, to help inspire me to get my diagnosis and give me the contact I needed. I cannot imagine being isolated and shunned as in the decades before.
All that said: I want to drop my NT act. If the stakes are not high enough to put on a face, then I won't anymore. I simply don't want to play the games when it is often not worth the effort.
I've also aquired some damaging coping mechanisms over the years. I shook off smoking and drug abuse, but I still suffer from overeating and video game addiction. These are a mental prison: they keep me pacified but helpless.
I've tried to kick my addictions many times in the years before they always come roaring back, no matter what I've tried: theraputic drugs, one on one talks, group talks, 12 step, throwing out the computer, and so on. They've noticibly weakened since I've started aligning to myself and I think progressing along that path will allow them to fall away completely.
Now to my question: are there any guidebooks or resources out there for living an Aspie life par excellence? I've found plenty on fitting in and understanding NT social rules but, while those books are certainly important, it's not my interest to fit in anymore.
Instead I'm searching for something that is like an Aspie self-help book on being an Aspie, while understanding we are all a bit different. It would primarily contain information on living well, self-improvement, and better understanding of Aspie nature with the goal of feeling more satisfied and at peace.
Any ideas or resources that you think would help me on my search are much appreciated.