Ladies: What is Your Definition of a "Nice" Guy?

[WereBear]

I am a taker not a giver.

Not what most people want in a relationship.

 

[Suiseiseki]

Not what most people want in a relationship.

Not really looking for a relationship anymore.
I don't think I would ever make a good boyfriend or husband (or father for that matter).

 

[VioletHaze_03]

Warning: i'm gonna sound like a tumblr -esque feminist in this rant. So, Here on the crazy land of the internet, there's a difference between a "nice guy" and a legimately kind dude based on how they act: One does things like:
- Objectifies and expects women to dress a certain way for them
- Behaves terribly and expects unconditional respect from everyone.
- says they respect women but then criticize us when we don't cater everything about ourselves to them
- says things like "girls without makeup are the reason i have trust issues"
-would probably joke about things like consent and body image
- is the reason girls have to be so cautious about going out with friends
- Considers a woman's looks more important than actual intelligence
- Needs to shut up about "respect" and actually show it.
The other:
- Doesn't boast about how respectful they are but instead will actually treat anyone with kindness
- Is a genuine person who you can respect, and who will respect you
- Is being overshadowed by all the "nice guys" and never mentioned by so called "feminists"
- Has feelings and morals instead of an ego and no filter
- Helps and supports women regardless of if they're in a relationship or not
- Needs feminism as much as women do, so we can all be equal.
Okay, so last point here. What about "nice girls?" Yeah, those exist too. Girls can be awful, guys can be awful. We can all be amazing, and we can all be jerks. And although you can point out the nice and the bad things people do, they're still people, and there is no cookie cutter definition of good or bad. Sorry for the long post, i just think that on the internet, people are a lot more honest about thier opinions than in real time. Sometimes too honest. Even in a place as safe as this, there's a little too much honesty/bigotry. Someday we just might be honest and respectful. Rant over, have a nice day

 

[Shiznown]

I am simply not attracted to most women, outside of the physical. I COULD talk and pretend to agree with their Marxist ideology just for sex, but my "ego" and integrity won't allow me to do so. Most single women, especially the younger ones in the north east of the US have a Marxist ideology and even if you as a man are okay with their views, anything less than super left is a no no for them. I consider a woman's looks more important than her personality, but I don't come across many smart women. I also refuse to feel guilty about not being attracted to women who do not take care of themselves, both physically and mentally.

 

[Shiznown]

"- says they respect women but then criticize us when we don't cater everything about ourselves to them"
Aren't you supposed to do that in a relationship, make compromises? This reminds me of the Marxist feminists that state "Why do I need to shave my legs and armpits?" Yeah, you can CHOOSE not to, but don't go complaining when you stay single, or get with some guy that has a hairy leg fetish.

 

[Shiznown]

 

[VioletHaze_03]

I am simply not attracted to most women, outside of the physical. I COULD talk and pretend to agree with their Marxist ideology just for sex, but my "ego" and integrity won't allow me to do so. Most single women, especially the younger ones in the north east of the US have a Marxist ideology and even if you as a man are okay with their views, anything less than super left is a no no for them. I consider a woman's looks more important than her personality, but I don't come across many smart women. I also refuse to feel guilty about not being attracted to women who do not take care of themselves, both physically and mentally.

Your opinion makes perfect sense, and i can understand why you took offence, but what i was describing is more of an issue than just appearance and political ideaology. Many of my friends have fallen into abusive relationships with so called "nice people" and heavily insulted for things like not dressing for them alone (girls feeling forced to wear revealing clothing because someone wants them to, instead of because they want to), and criticized for every thought that their partners didn't like. Some of them aren't even at the age of consent, and they regularly battle suicidal thoughts because of the abuse. "Nice people" frequent the internet, and these are the people i'm referring to. People who are so narrow minded that they border on abusive. And yeah, girls are mean too, some of us can be abusive. But there's always an exception to the rule, so in both cases, don't ignore that. Jerks exist everywhere and they always will, and kind humans do too. Dating is a mess for everyone, but it shouldn't have to be dangerous. I was targeting my post at the people who make it that way, for men and women.

 

[Shiznown]

Your opinion makes perfect sense, and i can understand why you took offence, but what i was describing is more of an issue than just appearance and political ideaology. Many of my friends have fallen into abusive relationships with so called "nice people" and heavily insulted for things like not dressing for them alone (girls feeling forced to wear revealing clothing because someone wants them to, instead of because they want to), and criticized for every thought that their partners didn't like. Some of them aren't even at the age of consent, and they regularly battle suicidal thoughts because of the abuse. "Nice people" frequent the internet, and these are the people i'm referring to. People who are so narrow minded that they border on abusive. And yeah, girls are mean too, some of us can be abusive. But there's always an exception to the rule, so in both cases, don't ignore that. Jerks exist everywhere and they always will, and kind humans do too. Dating is a mess for everyone, but it shouldn't have to be dangerous. I was targeting my post at the people who make it that way, for men and women.

That's understandable and I will admit, sometimes I do FORGET that there are decent women out there. I have been in abusive relationships myself, I've never been hit or anything, but my ex used manipulation and tried to guilt trip me all the time. I've also had friends who where dumped by women, because they said they were "too nice" and wanted someone to argue with, seriously. I also know a guy who found out his girlfriend that was staying with him who wanted him to wait to have sex with her, was just using him for a place to stay and was prostituting herself.

 

[watersprite]

edited.

This thread has taken a dive straight into the usual online waste-bin.

 

[VioletHaze_03]

edited.

This thread has taken a dive straight into the usual online waste-bin.

Meh, at least the original poster had good intentions, right?

 

[Suiseiseki]

Warning: i'm gonna sound like a tumblr -esque feminist in this rant. So, Here on the crazy land of the internet, there's a difference between a "nice guy" and a legimately kind dude based on how they act: One does things like:
- Objectifies and expects women to dress a certain way for them
- Behaves terribly and expects unconditional respect from everyone.
- says they respect women but then criticize us when we don't cater everything about ourselves to them
- says things like "girls without makeup are the reason i have trust issues"
-would probably joke about things like consent and body image
- is the reason girls have to be so cautious about going out with friends
- Considers a woman's looks more important than actual intelligence
- Needs to shut up about "respect" and actually show it.
The other:
- Doesn't boast about how respectful they are but instead will actually treat anyone with kindness
- Is a genuine person who you can respect, and who will respect you
- Is being overshadowed by all the "nice guys" and never mentioned by so called "feminists"
- Has feelings and morals instead of an ego and no filter
- Helps and supports women regardless of if they're in a relationship or not
- Needs feminism as much as women do, so we can all be equal.
Okay, so last point here. What about "nice girls?" Yeah, those exist too. Girls can be awful, guys can be awful. We can all be amazing, and we can all be jerks. And although you can point out the nice and the bad things people do, they're still people, and there is no cookie cutter definition of good or bad. Sorry for the long post, i just think that on the internet, people are a lot more honest about thier opinions than in real time. Sometimes too honest. Even in a place as safe as this, there's a little too much honesty/bigotry. Someday we just might be honest and respectful. Rant over, have a nice day

I don't trust men who say they "need feminism".

If someone called me a feminist I'd take it as an insult for sure. No one is equal, everyone has strengths and weaknesses that put them above and below other people.
Equality of opportunity isn't equality of outcome. There is absolutely no reason I'd ever need feminism.

 

[Pariah Dog]

Warning: i'm gonna sound like a tumblr -esque feminist in this rant. So, Here on the crazy land of the internet, there's a difference between a "nice guy" and a legimately kind dude based on how they act: One does things like:
- Objectifies and expects women to dress a certain way for them
- Behaves terribly and expects unconditional respect from everyone.
- says they respect women but then criticize us when we don't cater everything about ourselves to them
- says things like "girls without makeup are the reason i have trust issues"
-would probably joke about things like consent and body image
- is the reason girls have to be so cautious about going out with friends
- Considers a woman's looks more important than actual intelligence
- Needs to shut up about "respect" and actually show it.
The other:
- Doesn't boast about how respectful they are but instead will actually treat anyone with kindness
- Is a genuine person who you can respect, and who will respect you
- Is being overshadowed by all the "nice guys" and never mentioned by so called "feminists"
- Has feelings and morals instead of an ego and no filter
- Helps and supports women regardless of if they're in a relationship or not
- Needs feminism as much as women do, so we can all be equal.
Okay, so last point here. What about "nice girls?" Yeah, those exist too. Girls can be awful, guys can be awful. We can all be amazing, and we can all be jerks. And although you can point out the nice and the bad things people do, they're still people, and there is no cookie cutter definition of good or bad. Sorry for the long post, i just think that on the internet, people are a lot more honest about thier opinions than in real time. Sometimes too honest. Even in a place as safe as this, there's a little too much honesty/bigotry. Someday we just might be honest and respectful. Rant over, have a nice day

I don't understand how any of that first section of points would define any kind of "nice guy." That doesn't even sound in line with the negative connotation of "nice guy," You know the wussy type that no women are attracted to and ends up in the friend zone.

 

[BK201]

I don't really like the expression "nice guy." Anyone can be superficially nice. If I were still looking for a relationship, I'd look for a reliable and honest person.