lACK oF sELF iMPORTANCE

[Kayla55]

This one gets to me the most, more than dancing or struggling to have guts to say what I really think....
On the farm I was noticing this again, but this time it was many years later, I felt as if I was drowning and so it must have being magnified. How others assert their needs when feel mistreated.
Again, a very autistic issue such as was it I was ignored, mistreated or put down that caused my digression or as some pay PTSD related to form of abuse.
How do others so vigorously have will to be so bold asserting their needs. Not only that but seem more clued up in how to remedy the matter, oh, I feel so lost.

Is this ASD or being mistreated?

 

[FayetheAspie]

I think it could be either or even both.

 

[Kayla55]

I hate the school system, for managing to finally dictate to me. This Montessori School kept my son back due to his written language, said his maths was on higher level but I think they humouring me. I blame this on affecting our home schooling because I wasted so much time on stupid language and should've gone ahead with maths homeschooling. This was their insecurity, and now I've allowed them to get us down.
It's so tough to defy the system, and I realise now how lack of support has really knocked us down.

When/if we allow others to define our reality for us, we set ourselves up for failure!! Prepare to put in twice as much work to be considered half as good. Or maybe just failed recognition their NT capsule of denial does monkey see, monkey copy faster than we can socially adapt to understanding.... It's almost like AI publishing info and trying to convince yourself that you still intelligent when obviously don't stand chance against this.

 

[Kayla55]

Under my big blanket, I hide my fears at night. By morning I'd realised my hands clasped close to me and hands were positioned in disabled positioning, as if in spasm. Reality is dawning on me more clearly that with each passing day I'm less able to work and unlike my neighbours I don't own my own property.
I know already from past that no vacant land exists, that is informal settling and disciplinary action involved, going off grid means at least owning some land which leads to my next point of do I trust others to look after my offspring when I die, no I don't, not properly or with necessary caring at least.
I'm doomed due to my failed BSc subject, along with sales and accounting for the bottom left be, I am a failure!!

 

[Shamar]

This one gets to me the most, more than dancing or struggling to have guts to say what I really think....
On the farm I was noticing this again, but this time it was many years later, I felt as if I was drowning and so it must have being magnified. How others assert their needs when feel mistreated.
Again, a very autistic issue such as was it I was ignored, mistreated or put down that caused my digression or as some pay PTSD related to form of abuse.
How do others so vigorously have will to be so bold asserting their needs. Not only that but seem more clued up in how to remedy the matter, oh, I feel so lost.

Is this ASD or being mistreated?

In my experience, it is being mistreated because of ASD. The inability to stand up for yourself seems to be a beacon for people to build themselves up by making others weaker. Don't let others judge you for what you can't do. After all, you shouldn't judge a fish for it's inability to climb a tree. See my avatar for proof.

 

[Aspychata]

I homeschool my munchkin. I kind of let her interests dictate what we studied and this was writing, reading, and science. I didn't push grading, l pushed learning and critical thinking. Am l perfect, not at all, l just decided l didn't want her hating early education the way l did.

 

[Shamar]

I homeschool my munchkin. I kind of let her interests dictate what we studied and this was writing, reading, and science. I didn't push grading, l pushed learning and critical thinking. Am l perfect, not at all, l just decided l didn't want her hating early education the way l did.

We discussed home schooling for our son. My wife was too cheap to buy the materials and thought the professional teachers in the public school would be better. As a result, he hated going to school, was socially ostracized, never finished high school, and has no real interest in furthering his education.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

This one gets to me the most, more than dancing or struggling to have guts to say what I really think....
On the farm I was noticing this again, but this time it was many years later, I felt as if I was drowning and so it must have being magnified. How others assert their needs when feel mistreated.
Again, a very autistic issue such as was it I was ignored, mistreated or put down that caused my digression or as some pay PTSD related to form of abuse.
How do others so vigorously have will to be so bold asserting their needs. Not only that but seem more clued up in how to remedy the matter, oh, I feel so lost.

Is this ASD or being mistreated?

My bias would be primarily been mistreated, but the ASD component likely exacerbated the issue.

Fear-based behaviors manifest themselves in one of two ways, either you have these deep need to control everything around you, including others (outward thinker) or you retreat inward and are often the victim of other's trying to control you.

So, to simplify, you have the bully and you have the target of the bullying. Both are insecure individuals, but one is trying to assert their self-worth, by holding power and control over the other person, and the other is fearfully submitting and accepting they aren't worth anything. A very toxic, abusive dynamic.

I am not sure if anyone actually "gets over" this. Both my sisters experienced this sort of abuse from their former husbands. They never raised a hand to them, physically, but it was years of controlling behaviors, little put downs, especially in front of others, joking about it, but I would call it "death by a thousand cuts". I just destroyed their self-esteem. Very smart women, advanced educational degrees, but never accepted a job in their area of study, and ended up with entry-level jobs, low pay, and huge debt. Destroyed their lives. No amount of encouragement would help, as the damage was done. God help those men if I ever see them again. I'd gladly go to prison for what I might do to them.

 

[Kayla55]

Fear-based behaviors manifest themselves in one of two ways, either you have these deep need to control everything around you, including others (outward thinker) or you retreat inward and are often the victim of other's trying to control you

Very well noted, in way it's from one extreme to the other, sort of like bi-polar and results cause depression.

 

[Kayla55]

I had this hiring manager somewhat recruiter years ago who was textbook case of what you saying neo-natal. So codependent, it's really toxic.

Really despite bad things happening to us, like effects from difficulty of life in general and for some of us survival....not all of us choose to blame others and further try create need for thselves by depriving others of education or work.
But at what point do such people eventually realise they can't blame their neighbour forever for all their problems. It's almost like flabbergasted Einstein still expects a blond wife after Swiss educated him, it's like forever case of blaming others. How many hundred years does it take before country no longer expects their neighbouring country to supply wives, becomes own problem and up to own people to share responsibility of donating their daughters.
I've also noted outside of public eye many German woman are naturally quite big built, some plump or downright fat. It's discrimination in South Africa to insist women looks like complete Barbie wife, meanwhile not one word against any his downfalls will be tolerated...
Real shambles.

codependency

1. excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.
   "the tie that binds most of us together in this trap called co-dependency"

What are the signs of a codependent person?


Codependency traits

• Low self-esteem.
• Trouble identifying your own emotions.
• Trouble making decisions.
• Desire to care for others.
• Desire to feel important to someone.
• An excessive sense of responsibility for the way others act.
• A tendency to fall in love with people you can "rescue"
• Difficulty dealing with change.

 

[Kayla55]

I tend to want to withdraw, and just be on my own. To some extent we rely on our neighbours good will, but for some it's a crutch and I find NT people tend to want negative attention as opposed to no attention at all, I can't understand it. Also fuel toxic relationships and insist on continuing to create issues and not walk off and make own plans, actually up to point where if you allow it you become their slave and abuse you more even when drained every last idea out of you and leave you like this. The mortgage issue is if by certain retirement or sick phase dont have home security well you going to work til day you die. Since I'm celiac doing physical hours of work is very draining, but I have done this as well as intellectual work in office, desk.

Just trying to keep up homeschool, moving or life in general has being taxing. I honestly battle to explore RDI to try spend quality some with my son's, for once. I looked at what it is but very difficult for me to understand on my own, what I should do. (If others here wish to create thread and input strategies, I'd appreciate it)
Honestly I find it easier to spend time by teaching a hobby, or going on canoe to beach. Emotional is draining, find it very exhausting to try teach afrikaaner to my son as is required subject to pass. I have to try since homeschooling he has no access to resource to otherwise learn.
I can't explain why it's so difficult!!

Point is I'm trying to connect with my son for all years I wasn't emotionally there, I cooked, cleaned but ....