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Just introducing myself a bit more. I am looking for a girlfriend.

BrianWV39

Active Member
Hello, my name is Brian, I am a 39-year-old autistic guy from the mid-Atlantic US. I'm straightforward, low-drama, and completely content with who I am right now. I live with my parents to stay close to family and support them, which means no rent or financial pressure. I don't chase jobs, money, status, or constant self-improvement—those things don't resonate with me. Instead, I value simple routines, honest thoughts about life and human nature (like how emotions tie to social belonging), and genuine connection without games or performance. I'm not looking to change or "upgrade" myself, and I'm at peace with that.

What I'm hoping to find is a girlfriend who shares a similar low-key, authentic lifestyle. Someone who's okay with my current setup—living with family for now—and sees the long-term picture: when my parents pass, I'll inherit the house, giving us real security and the freedom to stay put or relocate together wherever we want. No hustle, no ego battles, just steady companionship with room for deep talks, shared interests (whatever they may be), and mutual understanding of neurodivergence. I don't need someone ambitious or high-energy; I'd rather connect with a woman who's pragmatic, kind, and values emotional safety over societal expectations.

I'm open about being autistic because it shapes how I communicate—direct, literal, sometimes intense on topics that interest me—and I appreciate partners who get that without judgment. Physical meetups would need to start slow and low-pressure (quiet places, no crowds if possible), and I'm happy to chat online first to build comfort. I'm not here for casual flings or quick sparks; my only goal is a committed, real relationship with someone who wants the same simple, drama-free life.

If any of this resonates and you'd like to talk, feel free to message me—I'm always open to genuine chats. No pressure, no rush. Just looking for the right person who sees the full picture and feels it's a fit.
 
My wife married me 46 years ago I asked her why as she had gone through a number of relationships prior to meeting me, Her answer she saw a future with me land lord of a rooming house, education, ambitious. Knew I would make a good father, saw none of these qualities in previous relationships. Now her education matches mine two grown kids. Outright own property, What they want is security partnership, would you make a good dad.


This video may help, times are changing saw this this morning.

 
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My wife married me 46 years ago I asked her why as she had gone through a number of relationships prior to meeting me, Her answer she saw a future with me land lord of a rooming house, education, ambitious. Knew I would make a good father, saw none of these qualities in previous relationships. Now her education matches mine two grown kids. Outright own property, What they want is security partnership, would you make a good dad.


This video may help, times are changing saw this this morning.

Cool, thanks for sharing :)
 
Hello, my name is Brian, I am a 39-year-old autistic guy from the mid-Atlantic US. I'm straightforward, low-drama, and completely content with who I am right now. I live with my parents to stay close to family and support them, which means no rent or financial pressure. I don't chase jobs, money, status, or constant self-improvement—those things don't resonate with me. Instead, I value simple routines, honest thoughts about life and human nature (like how emotions tie to social belonging), and genuine connection without games or performance. I'm not looking to change or "upgrade" myself, and I'm at peace with that.

What I'm hoping to find is a girlfriend who shares a similar low-key, authentic lifestyle. Someone who's okay with my current setup—living with family for now—and sees the long-term picture: when my parents pass, I'll inherit the house, giving us real security and the freedom to stay put or relocate together wherever we want. No hustle, no ego battles, just steady companionship with room for deep talks, shared interests (whatever they may be), and mutual understanding of neurodivergence. I don't need someone ambitious or high-energy; I'd rather connect with a woman who's pragmatic, kind, and values emotional safety over societal expectations.

I'm open about being autistic because it shapes how I communicate—direct, literal, sometimes intense on topics that interest me—and I appreciate partners who get that without judgment. Physical meetups would need to start slow and low-pressure (quiet places, no crowds if possible), and I'm happy to chat online first to build comfort. I'm not here for casual flings or quick sparks; my only goal is a committed, real relationship with someone who wants the same simple, drama-free life.

If any of this resonates and you'd like to talk, feel free to message me—I'm always open to genuine chats. No pressure, no rush. Just looking for the right person who sees the full picture and feels it's a fit.

Saying you are looking for "deep talks" and 'shared interests'
is informative in only the most general way.

You might get more responses by being more specific.
 
Deep talks, about what?

Shared interests, in what?

You mentioned music.
What kind(s) of music do you enjoy?
et cetera.....
 
A lot of us have special interests what are yours, maybe some of the single ladies here share your special interests.
I would have given an arm and leg to have meet a woman interested in physics or math, before I meet my future life.
Now she watches u-tube videos with me on quantum mechanics, could probably hold her own in a discussion in a social setting.
 
Deep talks, about what?

Shared interests, in what?

You mentioned music.
What kind(s) of music do you enjoy?
et cetera.....
I like music. I like music a lot, easily it is amongst a list of two or three things that give me the most joy in life.

What might surprise people is I still listen to the FM radio while driving. I know a lot of music snobs look down upon whatever is playing on FM radio. But I promised myself I would never turn into a music snob. I listen to almost any genre. High, low, popular, stuff that no one listens to and stuff that was created by AI. I am not always an open-minded person in life, (not much of a surprise) but when it comes to music, I am remarkably open minded. The arc of my musical tastes in life will always bend towards classical music and opera. Yet I know enough about myself to not rush things. Certain musical obsessions can wait until the future. For the time being I am enjoying the journey, both the high and the low parts.

To me another thing about the radio that can never be replaced by any other medium is having the perfect upbeat, joyful, great rhythm song that is just perfect to drive to. I imagine it is one of those things in life that requires far more imperfection than perfection.

Thank you so much for asking.
 
Another hobby of mine is the exploration of my subconscious. Not exactly a multi-player hobby but, what can I say I had to learn how to have fun on my own. In many respects I have dedicated my life to having fun. I always wanted to be in a relationship; I always wanted to have friends. I never even really imagined a super private life when I was younger. But my autism eventually caught up to me, and I found myself friendless before the age of 26. Completely and utterly friendless. We can assume I was all but dateless as well.

Anyways, I had to learn how to have fun completely on my own. I'm not unintelligent, and I put just about as much brainpower as I had towards the subject. I learned how to have fun. I learned what gives the most joys and pleasure out of life. At least as far as a single friendless guy who doesn't like to travel can manage. But I lived in a hedonistic city (Phoenix) at the time. And I lived a hedonist lifestyle.

Still do really, the only philosophy I could be accused of following is hedonism. But I am older now, life is much simpler for me. I am really a homebody at this point. I still go out occasionally. I will admit though home is where I find my pleasures in life now. And yeah, one of them is the deep exploration of my subconscious. It is amazing how much pleasure a single subject can give.
 
Now we're making headway, Their is single ladies on this site unlike us guys they need to be more careful who they have relationships with, More to lose if wrong choice made. The more they know about us the the better I see that with my wife why it bothered me so much each time I lost a job, I had warned her prior to marriage bad luck followed me like a cloud. She really appreciated how hard I worked to overcome it. I noticed she likes to follow my lead resulting in her matching my educational achievements.
 
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Saying you are looking for "deep talks" and 'shared interests'
is informative in only the most general way.

You might get more responses by being more specific.
A veil of mystery might add to the allure. :cool:
 
I realize I am not very good at selling myself. Doing that has never come easily for me. Even when I was younger and living a more standard life I never quite understood how to sell myself to others or get other people interested in me. The other problem is that the older I get the more I realize how different I am from most people. This masks both explaining and selling myself extremely difficult for me.

Not so much on this website, but especially on other websites that I have both introduced myself and explained I was looking for a girlfriend, I have gotten quite a few messages saying I do not offer enough, or perhaps even more bluntly that no one will ever like me.

This recurring pattern has perhaps made me extra sensitive on the topic of dating and relationships. But for the life of me I do not know what I am doing wrong. I'm the first to admit I live a limited life. I do not have a career like other people; I have no interest in kids or having many friends. I have no interest in politics or current events. I try to live as quiet and peacefully life as I can. Loneliness and feeling like I can never share my life with someone is the great sadness and depression in my life. I experience extreme bouts of loneliness. I turned to weed edibles to help solve the worst of my loneliness, but I know I have a lot of love in me to give and would love to share as much of my life with someone as possible.

As for the selling myself part- for starters I may not be wealthy or anything but from the perspective of someone dating me I should never cost them a penny. If someone out there is completely broke (or just completely hates spending money idk) you could date me for the next forty years and you will never have to spend a penny on me. I will never ask for anything. I can pay for our dates and little trips too if needed. I do not have much. but I have a small steady income coming in.

I also have a small trust fund in my name. The house I currently live in has been put into the trust and the house is completely paid off. I will never be wealthy or rich or anything but at a bare minimum (very conservative end) after my parents pass away, I should walk away with half a million dollars in the trust fund- even after taxes. I am not saying this to impress anyone (and it certainly shouldn't); but my whole point is that I am financially stable and have a very good financial plan after my parents pass away. Anyone out there is totally free to think I do not earn enough or that I do not have enough of a career for them to consider dating me. That is fully within their rights. What I do not think anyone (and I mean anyone) out there should do is claim I am too poor or need to improve my financial standing or independence to even one degree. I can take care of myself and any other concern about my finances would really be concern about your own financial situation.
 

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