Just an update and a small episode of depression

[Dillon]

hey everyone so it’s been a while since I’ve been on here I’ve just been so swamped with college work and exams but I’m making those As and Bs.
Aside from that though I had a period for almost two weeks of depression like having self hate and have a sense of mentality of guilt feeling like I’ve done something wrong or said something wrong. I went to where I have not talked to anyone for the last few days and wanted to be isolated from everyone else. It’s like I’m wanting to be distant from others telling myself that I need to leave people alone to give them space so I’m not a bother or anything. I got to where I have not even texted anyone for a couple days. There are a some good friends of mine who I talk to all the time but it came down to the point of those weeks I felt like I was bothering or annoying them and was feeling negative about myself. On the other hand I have been dealing with some jerks lately. I don’t know how else to describe it but has anyone else felt like that having that feeling of you did something wrong but in reality you didn’t. I’m not feeling that way anymore I guess it’s from stress due to the work load of the semester I just can’t explain it.

 

[Judge]

Depression doesn't require a reason or rationale. It can just happen. Cut yourself some slack, Dillon.

And hang in there!

 

[Dillon]

Depression doesn't require a reason or rationale. It can just happen. Cut yourself some slack, Dillon.

And hang in there!

I think it’s just a combination of my work load, having to present a project by myself next week for a class in front of professional judges and having to work on a framework for a proposal for thesis to get into grad school has gotten me so worked up to where I would accidentally say something offensive to a friend and he or she gets upset and I get upset cause I did not realize I had some wrong during that moment. I think I’m focusing too much on school lately that that’s the reason why I was upset cause I was ignoring my surrounds for a bit and not realizing I came out as rude to people which I had apologize to a few who I was rude. We are good an all but I felt that sense of guilt I felt like an arrogant jerk for that moment

 

[Mattymatt]

Depression and Autism are considered medical co-morbidities. I have a long and rich history of severe clinical depression. The best advice I can offer is to take it one day at a time, and as the old saying goes, "easy does it!"

 

[Pats]

I used to think that those periods of depression were times of growth and learning something about myself. I think we tend to pay more attention to ourselves during those times, which would explain the growth. Like 'growing pains'. And you're always growing. Hang in there, you seem to be doing great.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Aside from that though I had a period for almost two weeks of depression like having self hate and have a sense of mentality of guilt feeling like I’ve done something wrong or said something wrong.

I know that feeling. It took me 49 years to realize that all negative emotions feel like guilt to me. I could be tired, angry, sad, lonely, whatever and it feels like guilt.

I’ve had to learn to take some time to think about when it started and what the situation was to figure out what I’m really feeling, and then take the time to consciously process and resolve it before I can move on.

It sounds like you’re not just trying, you’re doing!

 

[Dillon]

It sounds like you’re not just trying, you’re doing!

I’m seem to be doing more than my whole life honestly. From being chronically ill missing grade school a lot (mainly middle and some of highschool) to the point I was hopspitalized multiple times from lung infections to being the first one in my family to go to college to major in the marine biology field and becoming recently involved in helping out in University research. I’ve already applied for some internships and hopefully I at least get one of them. Yeah I may have a little down moment like I did but that’s just life. I still deal with the social issues and all the other aspie stuff but it’s not as bad as it was when I was younger I would just be afraid to talk to people and would stutter back during my first year of high school and earlier on. My life right now at the point overall is going pretty good for me and I hope it stays that way.