Just a concerned daughter and big sister

[Dza]

Hello, I’m new to this site. I myself am not on the spectrum but I do have a younger brother who is severely autistic, to the point where he cannot talk, he’s destructive, violent and he harms himself quite often. My father is the primary care giver because the child’s mother has given up, The program he was in stopped sending caregivers because they all quit and my father can’t get any other help.

I’m here looking for advise, resources, and anything else that could be of help with improving the life of my father and brother, it will also probably help me better understand what my father is dealing with mentally and emotionally.

Thankyou

 

[tree]

 

[Varzar]

Hi Dza!
Sounds like a difficult situation, indeed..
I'm not sure I have any great advice for you, as I'm more on the high functioning end of the spectrum, and haven't had any personal experience with the more destructive behaviours you and your dad are dealing with..
There is a resources link up there.. Maybe there's something in there?
And of course, there's probably lots of others around here that have more practical experience than I do.
But, welcome to the forums!

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[Nitro]

Hi Dza

I'm sure that a few will be able to offer you advice, and feel free to look over our archives as well.

 

[Tom]

It is quite common a story actually, so you should not feel like failures. Some kids are very difficult to reach. It sounds like you just haven't gotten the right behavior analyst/specialists for your brother. So don't give up seeking professional assistance. One thing you already are by default is a model and modelling better responses and behaviors is something to be aware of. You can research more about it yourself of course, be be advised it is not a simple thing and takes much time and study to realy learn and gain the skills needed to help someone else with.

As an aside, I only figured out my life long 'difference' was autism later in life when trying to learn more to be better able to deal with a nephew and brother-in-law.

 

[Major Tom]

Hi welcome to the forums! I am on the spectrum and my son is much like you described your brother. I wish I could tell you there's an easy fix, or magical pill to make things better, but if there is, I don't know about it.
Some things that help my son are: getting plenty of exercise, patience, and if it gets too much to handle and it's safe, leave the room. Earbuds and earplugs also can help.
Good luck and welcome to the forums.

 

[GadAbout]

You can help your dad observe what seems to precipitate your brother's worst behavior, and structure his life to avoid those triggers.

How old is your brother?

Encourage your father to take care of his own mental health.

 

[Dza]

Hi Dza!
Sounds like a difficult situation, indeed..
I'm not sure I have any great advice for you, as I'm more on the high functioning end of the spectrum, and haven't had any personal experience with the more destructive behaviours you and your dad are dealing with..
There is a resources link up there.. Maybe there's something in there?
And of course, there's probably lots of others around here that have more practical experience than I do.
But, welcome to the forums!

he’s such a sweet boy Thankyou for the warm welcomes

 

[Dza]

You can help your dad observe what seems to precipitate your brother's worst behavior, and structure his life to avoid those triggers.

How old is your brother?

Encourage your father to take care of his own mental health.

He’s 10 now, and I’ve always tried to encourage him to take care of his mental health, it’s just hard to really get through to him because I don’t know how hard he’s really taking it yah know? Thankyou for the welcome into the forum

 

[Dza]

Hi welcome to the forums! I am on the spectrum and my son is much like you described your brother. I wish I could tell you there's an easy fix, or magical pill to make things better, but if there is, I don't know about it.
Some things that help my son are: getting plenty of exercise, patience, and if it gets too much to handle and it's safe, leave the room. Earbuds and earplugs also can help.
Good luck and welcome to the forums.

My brother prefers to steal phones for YouTube for hours at a time, he’s so strong too I think it’s because of all the milk he drinks! I look forward to speaking with you since your situation in similar for my fathers, Thankyou for welcoming me here

 

[Dza]

It is quite common a story actually, so you should not feel like failures. Some kids are very difficult to reach. It sounds like you just haven't gotten the right behavior analyst/specialists for your brother. So don't give up seeking professional assistance. One thing you already are by default is a model and modelling better responses and behaviors is something to be aware of. You can research more about it yourself of course, be be advised it is not a simple thing and takes much time and study to realy learn and gain the skills needed to help someone else with.

As an aside, I only figured out my life long 'difference' was autism later in life when trying to learn more to be better able to deal with a nephew and brother-in-law.

I’m also curious about other people around me, I know someone who claims there child has autism but never got him properly diagnosed maybe I can find some way to convince a diagnostic doctors visit for the child soon, I’ve found it’s really hard with research since the spectrum is so vague.