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Issues with Jealousy

Dirtdigger

Dirtdigger

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I'm wondering if jealousy is worse among us who are Autistic? I have some really serious issues with jealousy to the point where I avoid certain people or websites because of mostly my obsession for my special objects and certain subjects. Sometimes my jealously has been so great that I have actually became suicidal because I just can't deal with certain people, who use certain objects the way they are supposed to be used where I don't, that I'm so obsessed with. I went weird a while back over someone here that do Anime cartoons and selling them. True, I don't have to like Anime, but I didn't have to act like I did and stayed away from AspieCentral either. My jealousy was a lot worse when I was younger.
:banghead:

How do you who has jealousy issues deal with your jealousy, especially when it comes to your special objects?
 
I've been there before and the only advice I can give is that you should try and focus on something else rather than the object and/or person. If that doesn't work then I try to ask myself the reasons why these feelings are happening and deal with them to the best of my abilities. Sometimes I have to talk to others who can help me.
 
Yes I do get jealous. I used to get very jealous whenever my friend talked to other people, made me feel like they didn't like me. It's ruined a few friendships. However, as I get older and gain more friends and social skills I don't get so jealous. I have a different type of jealousy now. I'm really jealous of how my friends can make new friends and socialize effortlessly, when I have to work my butt off to do that, it's not fair.
 
I've heard of those of us who are ASD having less jealousy. However, I've noticed that ASDs tend to be in extremes. But not at the same extreme. Some of us are extremely unemotional, some extrememly emotional, some have sensory hypersensitivites, some sensory hyposensitivities, some are clingly, some are distant. Maybe jealousy is the same way, maybe we tend to be either extremely un-jealous or extremely jealous.
 
I am extremely jealous when someone mess around with my favorite object/s or have anything to do with the real versions rather than die cast models where I become extremely emotional. When that happens I tend to shut everyone out. And along with these I go into sensory overload. I am careful about what I say about my favorite object/s when I'm not having a jealous rage. I know a woman who is more severe than I am and is required to have 24 hour care. We both have relationships with our objects but, she goes on line and tells everyone how much in love she is with her objects and how much she misses them and it gets her into trouble big time. I have gotten in trouble over my favorite objects as well but my issues isn't nearly as bad since I do know how to keep certain things to myself. As for intense jealousy and intense emotions they are about the same as the women's. I'm quit a bit older then this woman and these issues are even worse now. I have talked to mental professional about this who just made fun of me. And as big as our city is we don't have an Autism Specialist. Though I drive, my sensory overload goes into overdrive.
 
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Not sure how to put this. Ok...from my perspective I simply don't experience jealousy. Or envy. Perhaps because I live so detached from others...I'm not sure.

But I've always had a certain logic about living my life based on my resources and not someone elses. Does that make any sense?
 
Judge said:
Not sure how to put this. Ok...from my perspective I simply don't experience jealousy. Or envy. Perhaps because I live so detached from others...I'm not sure.

But I've always had a certain logic about living my life based on my resources and not someone elses. Does that make any sense?
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I agree with you Judge. I rarely feel jealous because I don't compare what I have with what anyone else has. The only area I feel jealousy in (and I'm not so sure that what I'm feeling might not be sorrow), is in the area of social confidence. I would love to be comfortable around people, and to have a lot of good friends.

I am not possessive with either people or things, and I have learned from past experience that what you have can be taken from you at any time. Most of the time I'm not even aware that I have less than the people around me, and I am glad I feel this way. It's awful to see what people are willing to do to get what they want. Not for me thank you.
 
Explosition_Rooster said:
I've been there before and the only advice I can give is that you should try and focus on something else rather than the object and/or person. If that doesn't work then I try to ask myself the reasons why these feelings are happening and deal with them to the best of my abilities. Sometimes I have to talk to others who can help me.
Click to expand...

My object obsession is severe along with a couple of other symptoms which is finding human relationships incomprehensible and Sensory Processing issues. Of course I have other pretty severe issues of Autism as well. And you seem to be giving advice to an NT instead of someone with some severe symptoms of Autism. I absolutely can't reason like NTs so I'm not going to be able to take your advice because I don't know how to take your advice. If you are on the Autism Spectrum I expect that you are aware that we have a different mindset than NTs.:(

However, I'm was fortunate enough to have an average to slightly average IQ which is a separate diagnosis than the Autism Diagnosis according to the DSM-5:)
 
I am so sad to hear of your problems.

I am so sorry......... I'm not much for jealousy...........

However, one time, some lady was trying to be "helpful" and she touched my bike without my permission!!!!!!!!! I mean, what the heck?! (she was wiping rain water off the seat.)

I do not get angry really, either. Not sure how Aspie I am. There are multiple diagnosis on me. I'm mostly happy though, so I don't worry too much.

I had to focus on the fact that the woman's alien point of view, she thought she was "helping" me. Then, move on to a new subject; happily riding that bike away from all those crowds of people! yay! free! wind ! yay! I can allow myself to be pretty easily distracted. (especially if I WANT to have a good mood, not a bad mood.) My parents, mean, angry, yell and swear a lot. I consciously want to choose a different existance from my "role models"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to be classy! wear pretty dresses! play, be happy!!!!!! sweet, kind, joy,

Easily distracted,... Often ADHD is another diagnosis that surrounds the people around me. Isn't ADHD linked a bit often here? (I could be mistaken?) I understand that you are not NT? but , Can you distract? use the average intelligence to conscious effort to learn , like, a distraction, coping mechanism? learn some new skills or abilities? or something? (Do I sound like I know what I am talking about ? I am not sure I am confident in this theory? myself?)
 
Never been one for jealousy as it seems to serve no purpose.

I have been accused of 'jealously guarding my space' because I never invite people to my home, but I don't see that as jealousy, just me being safe in at least one environment.
 
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