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Oh, and for some more information on the topic:
I'm not making it up!
- definitions of asexuality and different kinds of attraction
- some support from the APA that indeed, romantic and sexual attraction do not go hand in hand
Bleh!, Oh well I tried. I'm staying fast on my chemistry position I really care what everybody calls that much chemistry, I'm still going to call it a good start. I wish I felt that more with the eligable girls around me, it seems to only happen once in a blue moon. Umm..she can still chase him in 2 years. Woof!
you''re making me miss my rotten ex. I really need to round up a new girlfriend, well you all can talk about cold clinical logical reasons to do nothing, I just see roses in the ditch which makes me sad.Bleh!
Ummm...shes got it pretty bad I think if any arms get put around any one the elements will be....Ahem! anyways I think the age thing is stupid and 5 years is nothing as you get older. I'm not even going to tell you how much younger my ex was who was chasing me for 2 years
Oh sorry am being bad again. Umm... you go girl and all that lovely stuff..happily ever after. Don't get too naughty or I may lose points with the big guy up stairs for matching you up. But I did have a feeling there was some magic there. How old are you M Catfish? I'm no good at math.
..um sorry for my last post on you. I plead temporary insanity due to a hole in the heart. Some people may dispute the temporary part. My sympathies go out to you on your lost happily ever after, I had a few of those lovely fluffy family dancing in the meadow dreams. Sigh! I don't believe H..ll but there may be a few potential mother inlaws who could use a free spa coupon for a visit there. I'm sorry things didn't go better for you MicroWeiss, I don't know why love is so hard. In my mind love should be like sugar and butter melting together into delicious caramel, but it seems to mostly end in burning oil and boiling water all over the kitchen. I guess not to many people are good at the melting together part.
Bunny Girl!!?? Your overuse of emoticons makes me want to emit a high pitched skreeee. No doubt the sound bunnies make. Thanks though. I recovered from it, I can relate to your blue moon comment. I'm developing theories on that, and they are disturbed, so I won't share them. Still wanting to appear sane.Hi cute little Bunny girl
Mael apologizes somewhat unrepentently for teasing you on the bunny thing. But in my defence you chose a adorable bunny icon. Ah! you lost me on the blue moon thing are you referring to my love is to hard comment with the blue confused face, or how rare the melting together thing is? ... if I wish. however I prefer to be when I can.....is that enough emoticans to make you. Bleh! Best wishes Mael..I hate to bother anyone who might be reading this downpour of what might be perceived as no more than a stereotypical flood of teenage angst, but I have a genuine question that would best be answered by people with similar neurological wiring.
I have had a friend for six years. Family friend, visits our house every couple of weeks but has now lived in college town for the past three years. We met on stage, strangely enough, whenever I was about ten and he fifteen.
This question comes into play, however, due to a conversation I had with some of my classmates. I was beginning to be concerned that I had some sort of heart defect due to the occasional heavy thumping and light airy feeling I get in my chest on occasion, stemming from about six years ago. They had asked me about the specifics and soon pointed out that all of these "attacks" coincided with me being around, texting with, or even thinking about this friend.
As of now, I can see how ridiculous my previous hypothesis of a heart defect was, as my chest is feeling airy at the mention of my friend. I have examined my behaviour since then and have come to the definite conclusion that this feeling, whatever it may be, is a response to this friend. Perhaps I had diverted myself from the obvious due to my unwillingness to admit that I could respond to another individual in such a positive way. I say positive, but sometime this feeling burns or keeps me from thinking of other things. I have never slept well, but this feeling has occasionally disrupted my sleep these past years.
Anyhow, my classmate concluded that I must be sexually attracted to this friend of mine, for they believe the feeling I described to be a sexual response. I will admit that my hands become sweaty and my pulse quicker when addressing my friend, but I don't feel any stimulation in the genital area. I often want to reach out and hug my friend (something highly unusual for me), but I have never had any desire for coitus whatsoever. We often hug and this airy feeling intensifies during these occasions, but as stated previously, I don't recognise any sexual urges. Sometimes, when we are both laying on the sofa, I have the urge to snuggle with him, but not in a sexual context: I'm curious if all of these feelings are some sort of repressed expression of a subconscious romantic inclination towards him, because it doesn't seem common for friends to snuggle or hug as frequently as we do.
This post is becoming excruciatingly long and I apologise to anyone bothering to read it, but I am providing as much information as I can in search for the most accurate answer.
Another reason that I am not quite sure if the classmate's (plural classmates, actually, as many other people joined in) answer is accurate is that I don't have any feelings of jealousy, as people are prone to have when in love with somebody. My friend has had a girlfriend for the past couple of months, but when he had first told me of this I felt nothing but happiness. This friend is very lonely, and has had many bad experiences with girls taking advantage of his unusual (A bit too extreme, in my opinion) niceness. It is not uncommon for people to bum rides off of him when they are drunk or make him pay for things, but this girlfriend is a good person. She has come over a couple of times before and is amiable (though sometimes she shows an unusual coldness towards me, compared to her like of my parents) and I am glad that my friend has someone to be happy with. Yet, on the other hand, he hasn't been visiting us as often as he used to because of his occupation with this girlfriend and this irritates me. I don't know if this is jealousy, though, because I feel nothing towards her, but rather a frustration at his lack of visits.
Yet then again, my fondness for his smell might be cited as evidence for my having a romantic inclination towards him. I have a very sensitive nose and recognise others by their smell, and I have never met anyone who's smell is as pleasant as that of my friend, not even my closest family members have scents that comfort me as much as his. A few years ago, upon my request, he put a piece of paper I had given him in his coat pocket for a while and then given it back so that I could have a sample of his smell with me. Whenever I have bad days, I can open the book I put it in and the smell makes me almost as happy as when he is here.
I cannot tell if I am in love or not. I cannot accept either answer from myself, because, in saying no I might be deceiving myself and in saying yes I might be talking of a subject I know nothing about.
Have you had any similar experiences?
What do you think?
If I am in love, are there any good methods for suppressing this feeling or should I just withdraw from this individual?
I don't know what more to say or ask. I don't mean to sound hopelessly melodramatic, but I'm sick of losing sleep over this. The idea that I might have been in love for so many years and deceived myself of the fact scares me, but so does the idea that I have a heart defect. XD I just need a third person opinion on this, someone unbiased as I come from a small town where many of my classmates have pre-conceived notions as to my friend and I. In a way, I think the people telling me I was in love were trying to fulfil their own romantic notion that someone like me could be subject to love. In a way, I also think they might have been right.
And then again, they might be wrong. }:/
I have such a headache. Thanks to anyone who managed to read my entire catharsis all the way through, it must have been cringe worthy in it's adolescent confusion.
. . Love should not be feared. It can hurt you if you act on it and get rejected. But the feeling is a great enjoyment if you accept it. Sort of like a roller coaster ride. If you try to sit still by force, you hate it (because you can't), if you let go and trust the holding equipment....it is fantastic! . In fact what I personally found was one of my biggest shortages, that I could feel my emotions, but didn't understand for a long time what they meant. I later found out that NT have a part of the brain that might be sufficient to perform the translations when reading peoples emotions. But in my case...it was like starting with nothing. At the same time, a lot of advice of NT's seemed totally unsuitable, and it was. But putting what I have learned and what you describe together, I would say...we are just as much able to fall in love as any NT. But as you noticed, and so did I, we might not understand what is happening so easily. And therefor seem like we can't. . But then again, he might also think you put him in the friend zone.. But on the bright side, he smells good...so if you ever want children without a husband...you might want to look him up . In other words.....there is no rush. He won't be the only one. And it helps if you discover yourself more at the moment. Unless you are up for more discovery .
