Is this a "me" thing, or an ASD thing?

[imagesbyholly]

I talk to myself all the time, but its more pretending I am someone else or doing something else. Like when I worked in retail, I would pretend I was on some reality show, and I had to teach celebrities to do my job. Or I have been caught pretending to teach a class. One time my boyfriend asked me who I was talking to and I said, "umm... well I just won an oscar for best screenplay, so I am giving interviews to reporters now." He said, "Ok, just wondering" I always try to keep it in my head but end up talking out loud. Other times its like I am thinking about how I might handle a conversation I am scared of and I end up talking out loud, sometimes even yelling, and I sometimes get really emotional during these talks.
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I do this too! My mom does it out loud and gets caught way more than I do. I find myself feeling very odd, nervous, and dissociative when I do these things, esp. when I do it out loud without realizing it.

 

[Dusty285]

In High School, mostly it was a waste of time for me to be in a classroom listening to the teacher. In math, I had to find out how to do the problems from the explanations in the book. If the book did not explain, I never 'got' the material. Same in most other classes. Only if there was a place I could read it. My own 'saving grace' was that I learned to read very early and read sci-fi long before sci-fi was accepted. Much of the science in that literature then was regarded as silly but as time went along much of it came to be and I was interested in watching the reality develop and see how it varied from the sci-fi of years or decades before. That took care of scientific and mechanical things. I read semi-fiction also, real places and events but a fictional cast of characters and a fictional story within the real history. That gave me an edge on history, political science, literature. But the flow of words during lectures were wasted on me. I am not dumb. I am on the spectrum. In school my grades were decent; in my working years I usually did much, much better than most of my co-workers.

 

[HelloDizzy]

I scrunch my shoulders up and put my hands clasped when I'm around a guy I like, or even if I'm talking to anyone for more than a few seconds and I'm expected to make eye contact.
Sounds like Aspergers but it's gotten bad again like when I was a kid.

 

[Soup]

I only recognize people when I see them in context. If someone changes their hair or clothing style or I see them somewhere that I usually don't, I'll not be able to recognize them. Once they speak, their voice might jog my memory but not their looks.

 

[Dusty285]

"I scrunch my shoulders up and put my hands clasped when I'm around a guy I like, or even if I'm talking to anyone for more than a few seconds and I'm expected to make eye contact.
Sounds like Aspergers but it's gotten bad again like when I was a kid. "

If you have not already taken an online test, try to find "Asberger Quiz" (free) and take it twice 3 to 6 months apart (or more). See if the results indicate AS and if the two results show the same things. Be very honest with yourself.

There is a cartoon representation of boys and girls. There is a box for the 'boy' or 'man.' It has an on-off switch and sometimes an indicator light. The other box, for 'girl,' has a dozen switches, some vernier dials, at least a half-dozen indicator lights. Note that I am a 'boy.' Then, maybe continue - below - or just go on to something else?

It sounds to me that you are having physical responses like most people feel inside in similar situations. If you can manage or arrange professional counseling it might be well worthwhile. It may or may not be a matter of concern that your reactions are reverting in the way you describe.

 

[Dusty285]

I only recognize people when I see them in context. If someone changes their hair or clothing style or I see them somewhere that I usually don't, I'll not be able to recognize them. Once they speak, their voice might jog my memory but not their looks.

Yes. People "out of context" (my own personal reference term) Have to tell me who they are and give my inner mind a minute or two to find the references and info and then we can continue just fine. Except by then they usually are completely offended and never forgive. I have come to consider that if 'friends' are not tolerant of the shortcomings and peculiarities of others, they are not much as 'friends' and I have not lost much. As an Aspie, of course, i really don't need friends anyway. The few who are tolerant and long-suffering are enough.

 

[King_Oni]

I only recognize people when I see them in context. If someone changes their hair or clothing style or I see them somewhere that I usually don't, I'll not be able to recognize them. Once they speak, their voice might jog my memory but not their looks.

That's how I remember people somewhat. I have a hard time recognizing people, unless they have really obvious traits (visible tattoos, piercings, haircolor or just a unique style in itself). Still it's no garantee, but at least it makes it easier for me to recognize them.

A voice obviously is another factor. I'm more prone to remember voices over faces.

However, I remember when I had a job, I'd run into co-workers and even that context wasn't enough for me to remember them. Reason; All workers, wore blue tshirts during shift (that's a nightmare for people with some kind of prosopognosia). Supervisors word red ones (which I sometimes felt was a nod to Star trek, since they were even more disposable then the ones they supervised).

At some point I might remember who person X was when I ran into him/her on a "weird" place, but that sometimes takes 2 weeks until I have this "stroke of genius" and go "oh... it was X I saw there". Had that last month at the pizza place, some guy was "how's mom and dad?" so I just told him "they're fine" and didn't talk to him anymore besides that. A few weeks after suddenly I remembered, it was the former owner of a pub, my mom worked in. It's where I remmber everything, first name, last name, where I know him from, and if I know it; address, phone number, date of birth and all personal information.

It's really awkward however, if you run into people and they wave or say hi and you're like and have no clue what to do and if they are addressing you.

 

[balder]

In High School, mostly it was a waste of time for me to be in a classroom listening to the teacher. In math, I had to find out how to do the problems from the explanations in the book. If the book did not explain, I never 'got' the material. Same in most other classes. Only if there was a place I could read it.

That describes me. I did it well on shcool, when everything seemed too easy for me, but I'm having troubles now on college because I'm a procrastinator, and delay my studies to the last moment. I put books on the table, turn off the laptop, etc. but even so I just can't concentrate on what I'm obligated to study. Everytime I end up writing random things on the notebook or drawing, that's really frustrating. I beleive there must be a trick to force me to study, but so far I couldn't find it.

 

[HelloDizzy]

"I scrunch my shoulders up and put my hands clasped when I'm around a guy I like, or even if I'm talking to anyone for more than a few seconds and I'm expected to make eye contact.
Sounds like Aspergers but it's gotten bad again like when I was a kid. "

If you have not already taken an online test, try to find "Asberger Quiz" (free) and take it twice 3 to 6 months apart (or more). See if the results indicate AS and if the two results show the same things. Be very honest with yourself.

There is a cartoon representation of boys and girls. There is a box for the 'boy' or 'man.' It has an on-off switch and sometimes an indicator light. The other box, for 'girl,' has a dozen switches, some vernier dials, at least a half-dozen indicator lights. Note that I am a 'boy.' Then, maybe continue - below - or just go on to something else?

It sounds to me that you are having physical responses like most people feel inside in similar situations. If you can manage or arrange professional counseling it might be well worthwhile. It may or may not be a matter of concern that your reactions are reverting in the way you describe.

well, I definitely have Aspergers, I have an official diagnosis from a neuropsychologist. I just sometimes wonder is certain things are me being weird or Aspergers making me weird.
I was in counseling but I tend to go to battle with all of my counselors because they're not very smart.

=)
Online quiz said I have Aspergers too lol

 

[Soup]

@ Dizzy: Another fabulous photo. Love the film noir appeal of the smoky eyeliner & the black top. Gorgeous!

At the grocery store, I an an Olympic class cart snoop: I look into other people's carts & stare at the kinds of food they're buying. I sometimes try to guess ahead at what type of food the person will have based on visual cues about the person (like a really fit guy in bike shorts or an ancient old woman...) Sometimes, I'm shocked & want to yell "EEEEEWWWwwww!" like when some creepy guy stopped by the meat counter & bought a bunch of chicken hearts, a turkey neck & some liver. THAT IS NOT FOOD!

 

[HelloDizzy]

Thank you Soup! You always manage to brighten my day up.

Chicken livers, I love, but the rest of that sounds scary. When I was in NY, some guy at the store was buying a lobster to boil and they took the live creature out of the tank and put it in a paper bag like it was just a sandwhich =( I cried and cried.

 

[rainbowdragon]

is this an aspie symptom?

I have some kind of problem and I don't know if it has to do with sensory integration or something else. Often, especially when I am stressed, my throat area around my collarbone gets very uncomfortable. It's hard to explain, but the skin feels tight. It is something I can't ignore. In order to try to make this feeling go away, I grab at, pinch, and scratch the area, and put soft material, like my shirt collar, sleeve or blanket under my chin. it is disruptive to my life. People will ask me what's wrong or if im cold. It distracts from what im doing. often, including last night, it took me a very long time to fall asleep because it wouldn't go away. I know that some autistic people will bang their head and stuff because they are having sensory problems they are trying to drown out. Is my behavior the same type of thing? If so, what can be done about it?


Moderator Note:
I just moved your question to this thread as it is where you can find help working out if what your going through is related to ASD or just you ; ]

 

[poey]

@ Dizzy: Another fabulous photo. Love the film noir appeal of the smoky eyeliner & the black top. Gorgeous!

Soup, i was thinking the same thing! And I love the green walls, it really accentuates and brings out the beautiful colors in your hair.

 

[Aspie&Aspie]

Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours...

I noticed when I went to my folks for a Sunday roast today I was massaging my feet while on the couch for 4 hours straight.
I know it sounds a bit weird, but everyone that knows me is probably just used to it as I have done that for the last 15 years or so.
Including in front of my ex wife, kids, family and friends. (I won't do it in front of people I don't know)
That's when I had an epiphany that I had to join Aspie Central

I know people used to make fun of me doing this but I can't help it as the relief from doing this outways the embarrassment factor and shame of doing so in front of other people.
I try and be discrete about it by gently prodding, poking and massaging my heels and feet with my fingers.

I do it because it relaxes and calms me and feels good, like a focussed 'Stim' I guess if that's what you call it.
Has anyone else done this particular type of weird behaviour or am I the only freakster?

Oh, another thing I noticed that I do is I talk at a higher pitched voice than my voice actually is.
(Jeeze I do sound like a weirdo, I hope I am in the right forum

 

[SallySlips]

Re: Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours

Does anyone have sudden, intense reactions to certain things people say to you?

For me, it's "calm down" or "chill out." I instantly take offense and really just want to strangle the person that said it to me. Anyone who's ever said it to me once knows to never say it again. It basically feels like they're saying "Shut up, your opinion is invalid."

My mom said it to me today. I won't get into the huge background of it because that would take up wayyy too much space, but suffice it to say my mother and I do not get along. She likes to stir up trouble between me and my siblings so she can step in and be the hero who fixes everything, to make herself feel like she's needed. Well this morning she was texting me, purposely getting me worked up and worried about my older sister who's going through some relationship issues, and she gave me the impression my sister was homeless as of last night, but she didn't want me to tell anyone I knew. Flabbergasted, I asked her why not, shouldn't somebody see if she's okay and if she needs help? I got a hold of my sister and found out she is not in fact homeless. My mom proceeded to make some snotty remark about her and I said that my sister needs support, not judgment.

That's when she told me to calm down. It would've angered me even if I had been worked up, but I was perfectly calm so it made me all the more angry. In all fairness I did tell her that that really makes me angry when people say that to me and please don't do it again. Her reply was "Lol You're funny, watch who you're talking to."

And that's where I snapped. I found it completely ironic that my mother, who abandoned all 4 of her kids to alcohol and men 10 years ago, thinks she deserves that kind of respect. I'm a self-made woman, utterly and completely unlike her, and I'd have enough of her childish games so I went off on her. I said some really hurtful things, but I feel like she deserved it after the way she's treated me. Like I said there's a lot of background between me and her, but that's getting away from the point.

Is this just me, or an ASD thing?

 

[Tarragon]

Re: Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours

I can snap instantly of someone says something wrong at me. I was worse when I was younger, but I can still react now to spoken prods. If someone knows I am like this, and still says something, then I'm even worse because I can't even be bothered to explain the obvious to them. I just "go off on one". Being told to calm down doesn't help! I get very loud, harsh and angry. If I was as physical as I am verbal, I'd be in prison for assault on so many occasions. As it is, I just get aggressive verbally, which nobody can take. I always end up apologising, which makes it ten times worse.

I think it's an aspie thing. Well, for me anyway. It's one of the reasons I don't bother with people nowadays. Too much hasstle.

 

[ravendragonwing]

Re: Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours

I definitely HATE it when someone tells me to calm down!! WTF dude, what right do you have to tell me how to be? I am angry and I have every right to be upset! Calm down? grr
LOL
Can anyone else feel when your eye focuses? I can only feel it in my left eye, it is really weird sometimes....

 

[SallySlips]

Re: Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours

I'm not a physical person, but I do have a way with words and have made people cry on a few occasions. I don't usually apologize for it because I feel like I don't need to be sorry for how I feel. Especially with my mom - our "relationship" is already so damaged that I honestly don't care if she's a part of my life or not. I think I actually prefer not being in contact with her. So I don't hold back when she pushes my buttons.

 

[Cerulean]

Re: Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours

Can anyone else feel when your eye focuses? I can only feel it in my left eye, it is really weird sometimes....

Wait- are we not supposed to feel that??

 

[Soup]

Re: Massaging my feet while I'm on the couch in front of friends and family for hours

Come to think of it, I've got an eye issue too! I just thought it was some kind of personality fluke. When I look at information arrayed on a chart or a grid (like a calendar) I can't see it! I don't see a blank black or white space, I know there's something in front of me but it is almost like an abstract image that makes no sense. It takes me time before I can really 'see' what I'm seeing then another bit of time before I can make it make sense. Even then, I'm prone to inserting information into the wrong square on a grid or misreading it. I don't know if this is an Aspie thing that affects anyone else here, a vision thing, a spatial processing issue or if it's a Soup the Dork issue.