Is this a "me" thing, or an ASD thing?

[earthsteward70]

By the time I was half way through my teens I came to the same conclusion. I can't tell a lie, can't remember details well enough to not get caught, etc. and from then on I did become honest to a fault. I lost a job once because of my honesty, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise type of situation. Sometimes I wish I had more tact. Speaking tactfully is something I am barely learning to do, and am not too good at. Right now my tact level compares to 'Chopsticks' when I need 'Chopin'. One of the reasons I think this forum will be good for me is to learn social skills like this.

 

[. . .]

One thing that prevents me from (orally) speaking to people is how people tend to misunderstand me when I talk to them. People constantly get me to repeat things to them; it's really annoying.

I tend to talk quietly, but even when I talk at (what I perceive to be) a normal volume, people get me to repeat things to them.

Is it the same for any of you?

 

[Arashi222]

One thing that prevents me from (orally) speaking to people is how people tend to misunderstand me when I talk to them. People constantly get me to repeat things to them; it's really annoying.

I tend to talk quietly, but even when I talk at (what I perceive to be) a normal volume, people get me to repeat things to them.

Is it the same for any of you?

Yah same for me. I always speak very quietly. No one can ever hear me. They are always like what what did you say. Then you repeat it and then you start wonder with how many times you repeated yourself whether its you they can't hear or they just like to embarrass you by making you say stuff over and over again.

 

[GhettoButterFly]

One thing that prevents me from (orally) speaking to people is how people tend to misunderstand me when I talk to them. People constantly get me to repeat things to them; it's really annoying.

I tend to talk quietly, but even when I talk at (what I perceive to be) a normal volume, people get me to repeat things to them.

Is it the same for any of you?

Hm... depends, sometimes I talk too loud by mistake. I am somewhat soft spoken depending on the day/mood I am in. I can talk loud if need be. When it comes to talking on the phone, I am a bit too loud sometimes and I should practice talking a bit lower. :S

As a real answer to your question that isn't a run around, I would say "yes" (although it depends on who I am speaking to if they have hearing troubles of course).

 

[Droopy]

One thing that prevents me from (orally) speaking to people is how people tend to misunderstand me when I talk to them. People constantly get me to repeat things to them; it's really annoying.

I tend to talk quietly, but even when I talk at (what I perceive to be) a normal volume, people get me to repeat things to them.

Is it the same for any of you?

Yes! I get that one quite a bit. For me though, it seems to be more to do with individual words rather than full sentences/phrases. Like I'll say a word and they will think that I said a different word that sounds similar/rhymes. I seem to get a lot of anxiety while talking and often struggle to speak clearly and at the correct volume. It's either a bit quiet/mumbled or too loud.

 

[Kelly]

I seem to get a lot of anxiety while talking and often struggle to speak clearly and at the correct volume. It's either a bit quiet/mumbled or too loud.

Same here. I've always spoken very quietly but then I'll also randomly be shouting when I think I'm talking normally. When I'm in public and the rare time I talk to other people (usually when I'm stuck at some school thing and one of the mum's starts talking to me) I will be too quiet, stumble over my words or say things that make no sense. It's made worse when there's alot of people around because the sound of all those people talking becomes one big humming and I can't hear the person next to me properly so I sometimes end up nodding and grinning like a maniac trying my best to keep up with the conversation, hoping they haven't asked me a question or something.

 

[King_Oni]

Just at dinner I was wondering;

Does anyone have problems in eating certain things if they're not of a specific brand and thus of different quality/consistency.

My mom made red cabbage earlier, but I could not eat it. She had a different brand from what we had today, and besides that it smelled slightly different, I could not stomach the matching taste + the thicker/harder consistency of it. Usually she has some that is quite soft/weak, but some things, because they are harder or softer than what I'm used to, I cannot eat.

The same goes for crinkle cut crisps. I cannot eat those, but I can eat loads of "normal" cut without a problem.

So, anyone else on the board has this? (I know I'm not the only one on the globe, my girlfriend has the same issue)

 

[Bay]

Same here. I've always spoken very quietly but then I'll also randomly be shouting when I think I'm talking normally. When I'm in public and the rare time I talk to other people (usually when I'm stuck at some school thing and one of the mum's starts talking to me) I will be too quiet, stumble over my words or say things that make no sense. It's made worse when there's alot of people around because the sound of all those people talking becomes one big humming and I can't hear the person next to me properly so I sometimes end up nodding and grinning like a maniac trying my best to keep up with the conversation, hoping they haven't asked me a question or something.

This could have been written by me!

 

[Droopy]

Just at dinner I was wondering;

Does anyone have problems in eating certain things if they're not of a specific brand and thus of different quality/consistency.

I have to have specific brands too, not because of the brand name but because of quality/taste and I do like to keep things consistent.

 

[Arashi222]

On a similar topic does anyone have to eat the same thing on the same day every week so for example eat grilled chicken on Wednesdays always on Wednesdays? Or like Soup on Tuesday night but it has to be a specific kind of soup??

 

[Gomendosi]

I used to always have to sprinkle ground Oregano on everything.
Otherwise, textures and branding and different flavors of things, like when they all say BBQ for example, as well as having the same thing for the same meal on the same day each week, doesn?t affect me anymore. I just can?t afford to let myself be absorbed by things like that anymore.
It?s Massively difficult to go against the default settings in my brain though, I admit, like when I was in my last job I simply had to have Asian take-away every day, to the point that I think the cute Chinese woman working there probably reckons I was stalking her :|







Mmmmm, that might make a good thread!

 

[Arashi222]

I used to always have to sprinkle ground Oregano on everything.
Otherwise, textures and branding and different flavors of things, like when they all say BBQ for example, as well as having the same thing for the same meal on the same day each week, doesn?t affect me anymore. I just can?t afford to let myself be absorbed by things like that anymore.
It?s Massively difficult to go against the default settings in my brain though, I admit, like when I was in my last job I simply had to have Asian take-away every day, to the point that I think the cute Chinese woman working there probably reckons I was stalking her :|







Mmmmm, that might make a good thread!

Ahhh so you do understand. Yah I just can't change that. I have to eat the same thing on the same day but it might be a differing item. Such like right now I am into Killebrew RootBeer (its a MN thing) on all my breaks at work and I get a little upset. I have to have at least one diet Pepsi every day too (all the caffeine helps with my migraines). But I often find that I can't change the settings and get really upset if I can't have what i want on the given day I am supposed to have it kinda like Sheldon on BBT.

 

[Gomendosi]

*Please be an ASD thing*

Irrational Sense Of Loyalty.
If someone gives me a job or if I make a friend, I am extraordinarily loyal to that person, who then makes my life that much harder if they end up being a jerk like taking advantage of that faithfulness in some way.

It is actually getting a little out of hand for me now, as an example;
This is the only site I get on and when people say they are on other sites as well it really bugs me, I know, I know, none of my business right.
Why should that even bother me?

So what is with this whole thing? Have I been misguided in who I am dedicated to that now my loyalty is an impossible yardstick?
Have I short-circuited my logic department or am I the same as everybody else?
Surely not everybody? Anybody at all?

 

[Arashi222]

*Please be an ASD thing*

Irrational Sense Of Loyalty.
If someone gives me a job or if I make a friend, I am extraordinarily loyal to that person, who then makes my life that much harder if they end up being a jerk like taking advantage of that faithfulness in some way.

It is actually getting a little out of hand for me now, as an example;
This is the only site I get on and when people say they are on other sites as well it really bugs me, I know, I know, none of my business right.
Why should that even bother me?

So what is with this whole thing? Have I been misguided in who I am dedicated to that now my loyalty is an impossible yardstick?
Have I short-circuited my logic department or am I the same as everybody else?
Surely not everybody? Anybody at all?

I think that's an AS thing.
I am every loyal. I am so loyal that I would continually put myself into psychological harm by wanting to fix all my broken relationships because I don't know how to fix them I just know they are broken. But I still love that person...I get attached to people really easily. I get very panicked easily too when I think that I've hurt them in anyway.

As to the website thing I don't know....not me. But I think that we all have our own threshold for loyalty. I think it goes with the high expectations of people within the friendship.

 

[King_Oni]

In general I'm not really that much of a reader and if I read, I read non-fiction pretty much exlusively.

A reason for this is; I cannot really "imagine" what I'm reading in a novel. I found that it works fine, if I saw the movie of said book (even if it's a slightly different way of portraying it; Blade runner and Do android dream of electric sheep would be an example of this).

I also found that even if I go through a book that's hundreds of pages, I have a problem in adding up events and such and I pretty much would have to summarize each chapter with pen and paper myself. I usually read a plotoutline on wikipedia before I start reading. I don't care if it's spoiled, I'm usually more interested in the way it's portrayed, rather than being "surprised" in the end. I do have it a bit with movies as well though... finding the motive on why person X does something... (ait's even worse when it's not "in scene" and I deal with everyday situations, daily life and "real" people)

But in general, just reading a story, I cannot make any sense of it and I need visual cues and aids to let me have an outline of what I'm reading, especially if there's things being describe that are visual. (A green coat will get me wondering what tint of green, and why the color green might be important even, and that's just the tip of the iceberg).

Along those same lines; it's why I picked up on doing illustrations for my project before I really get into writing (short) stories about it. I need objects, locations and a visual storyboard before I write anything down. Weirdly enough I don't have an issue of thinking about the "narrative" of an illustration I make, that kinda goes by itself mostly.

That got it's origin by reading graphic novels/comics a bit... and visual cues in said "novels" help me focus more on text and less on the entire issue of "imagining the surroundings" for example. I have the wildest monologues with myself if I have to imagine something I read because there's so many alternatives of what I read, and I want to make sure I pin down the correct image the writer intended.

Yes, it keeps me from reading a lot of good books but if I don't understand or recognize it as a "good" book... it ain't a lot of value to me.

 

[Kelly]

Irrational Sense Of Loyalty.
I am extraordinarily loyal to that person, who then makes my life that much harder if they end up being a jerk like taking advantage of that faithfulness in some way.

This has been me with every single 'friend' I've ever had and even when other people are telling me that my 'friend' is treating me like dirt I stick up for them and make excuses etc. It always takes something very upsetting to make me break free, the last 3 reasons I got away was 1 I moved 3 hours away and was able to avoid them(by which time they'd threatened to beat me up, always encouraged me to drink heavily/try to get me to smoke etc). The second said some really really nasty things about me and caused a huge amount of grief for me with other people. The third did many many little crappy things over the years we were friends and then finally moved away and barely spoke to me which was the eye opener for me, but even after I decided not to be her friend anymore she was upset about her fiancee and wanted to moan about him and her other friends and as usual I was the one who she wanted to complain to, so even though I hated her and didn't want anything to do with her anymore I told her I couldn't be her friend anymore but if she really did need someone to talk to then I'd listen and advise but I was sick of her pretending she gave a damn about me when the only time she spoke to me was when she wanted something.

 

[Bay]

*Please be an ASD thing*

Irrational Sense Of Loyalty.
If someone gives me a job or if I make a friend, I am extraordinarily loyal to that person, who then makes my life that much harder if they end up being a jerk like taking advantage of that faithfulness in some way.

It is actually getting a little out of hand for me now, as an example;
This is the only site I get on and when people say they are on other sites as well it really bugs me, I know, I know, none of my business right.
Why should that even bother me?

So what is with this whole thing? Have I been misguided in who I am dedicated to that now my loyalty is an impossible yardstick?
Have I short-circuited my logic department or am I the same as everybody else?
Surely not everybody? Anybody at all?

I am loyal to the point of irrationality sometimes, but once a line is crossed by someone I was loyal to, there is no going back. I rarely forgive. But that is not your point, I dont think?

I guess it does seem a little bit overboard to feel betrayed if a member of this forum also belongs to another site. After all, none of us really knows any of the others, do we? They might have needs that can't be met here that are met elsewhere. I joined another site but there was a thread having to do with self-pleasure that had nothing to do with AS so I have not returned there. Lord knows there are plenty of sites devoted to that subject alone, so who needs it on a site on which people find valuable support for their AS issues? But I digress.

For what it's worth, this is the most helpful, insightful and supportive site I have found and it is therefore my favorite and really the only one I visit. But clearly, the people who need to go waaaay off topic need to do it somewhere, better elsewhere than here. I do think it is sweet that you are so loyal to us.

 

[King_Oni]

With websites not so much, but I do kinda have an issue with friends and friendships.

I have a really hard time in finding it ok for people to put me "among their friends". I kinda want to be their only friend and not be someone packed up with others.

An ex-girlfriend once was like "you're the most important person to me" *silence*... "alongside my brother and my dad... you both share that place in my heart". I was totally irate. I can't have it that way... so in a way, I kinda expect friendship to be loyal as in "the only one" category.

Likewise, I have one friend whom I talk to a lot and go out for a walk,and I have one person whom I'm involved with relationshipwise. I'm ok with having 2 cause they serve different purposes. But having "a best friend" and having a few of those is weirdish to me.

 

[epath13]

I thought maybe I should start writing something again... Even though it seems that I have less and less time for socializing... Anyway about loyalty and friendship. When I was a kid I noticed one weird thing, I had a huge trouble with having more than one friend at a time. I felt that I could only have one best friend and all the rest were just acquaintances. I also felt that I wanted my friend to consider me as the most important person in her/ his life. I didn't like it and always wanted to figure out why can't I care and alow others to care about several people at the same time, and why do I get obsessed with friends so much? I couldn't really figure out but decided to let go and stop worrying about them not making me center of their lives all the time. Before I thought I just wanted to control my environment and there might be some truth to it, but it seems that the deeper reason behind it is the same as behind difficulties with switching from one task or subject to another.
One more thing that I learned that people have different understanding of friendship or any kind of relationships and I can't blame them for not having the same values or opinions as mine. I think it's important to find out what your friend's opinion regarding relationships is before making assumptions.

As for people being on different forums, I'm not sure I'm getting it... Sorry I'm registered at quite a few places but post only on 2-3, (still didn't get to spectrumville ) purely because I can't talk about everything I want to talk about on one...

 

[2010Dolby]

I think this is my first post on this thread? Not sure. Anyway here goes;

I love to hate things. Not sure why, and I like to think that I'm a pretty friendly guy. I get a lot of enjoyment from hating things though :lol:

Example: The NFL has 32 football teams. I got happiness from supporting my team, but I get hours and hours and hours of joy from hating the other 31 teams. (Okay that just sounds plain creepy :lol

It could be a stranger driving a small car in traffic or someone who walks by the warehouse while Im at work. I never need a justified reason to hate anything, I just need some free time to get the irrational anger flowing haha and its never violent hate either. Its almost like something to occupy my mind for a little bit.

Anybody else like that?