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Is there a particular name for services that help clients build social skills more rapidly?

The are books that teach basic social skills (smile, shake hand, say please/thank you, listen when others are talking, be courteous, etc.) but I've found the main problem with socializing is usually emotional intelligence, which often involves knowing what to say or how to act based on the situation or the mood of the room. I've found that trying to learn a bunch of rules about how to act in various situations doesn't work well. In order to fit in, I've found I need to understand how everyone is feeling and respond accordingly which requires good emotional intelligence. Fortunately, there are many books that can help. I don't know any services, other than traditional psychotherapy and counseling, that can help with this.
 
Well, someone seems to think so, having built a website around such a service using an acronym "PEERS", for Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills.

Though it does seem to target a nebulous age group of "young persons".

PEERS® Social Skills Groups - peerssocialskills.org

Interesting to see what you get through a search engine typing "services to build a person's social skills". Lots of responses like this one. Some even specify autism.
 
There is always the old classic Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people. As a young undiagnosed youth growing up in the 80's/90's I remember thinking I'd struck gold when I got a copy of that book. Despite it's age it was like "here's the secret cheat codes to social interactions". Didn't help me to understand Neurotypicals any better really but it did allow me to fake some level of normalcy in my day to day social interactions.

These days though a counselor like a therapist or social worker or even a Life Coach would be your best bet. I dislike the idea of "life coaches" though. I get that many have good intentions but it seems to me like the folks that couldn't become a therapist or social worker became Life Coaches instead. Reminds me of the old gym teacher joke. "Those that Can, Teach. Those that Can't, teach gym. ".

Now I'm sure I've probably got Life Coaches pegged wrong, and if so I'll happily accept correction from someone with a more informed opinion on the matter.
https://www.dalecarnegie.com/en/resources/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-chapter-1
 
Matthias said:
The are books that teach basic social skills (smile, shake hand, say please/thank you, listen when others are talking, be courteous, etc.) but I've found the main problem with socializing is usually emotional intelligence, which often involves knowing what to say or how to act based on the situation or the mood of the room. I've found that trying to learn a bunch of rules about how to act in various situations doesn't work well. In order to fit in, I've found I need to understand how everyone is feeling and respond accordingly which requires good emotional intelligence. Fortunately, there are many books that can help. I don't know any services, other than traditional psychotherapy and counseling, that can help with this.
Click to expand...
I will admit that when you first brought that up, I was very confused, but after looking into it and your explanation here, it makes a lot of sense. It's learning the underlying language/math/whatever of interactions.
 
I'm highighting some of the notes for myself.




Free resources:
-research emotional intelligence
-Jefferson Fisher’s videos


Book resources:
-Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people
-Crucial Conversations (Greeney & others)
-Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg)
-Boundaries (Cloud and Townsend)



For-Cost Resources:
-life coaches, therapist or social worker
-PEERS® Social Skills Groups - peerssocialskills.org




Cross Referenced with
Kitsuna

Post in thread 'Any great social skills resources?'

Look up Jefferson Fisher’s videos. He has a lot of great shorts on how to handle/de-escalate conflict situations.
  • Agree
Future Cross-Referencing Suggestion:
-
P

Thread 'Had another run in with my (un)friendly local bully today.'

She tried to intimidate me by rushing at me and putting her [chest] on mine and her lips on mine while she was screaming threats at me.

I appreciate whoever said something earlier. Idk if it was a joke, but I appreciated the phrasing and it made me laugh.
  • Friendly

-https://www.autismforums.com/threads/dealing-with-an-abuser-right-this-minute-vent-post-i-guess-just-trying-to-survive.51632/
-look back through other notes and messages
 
Last edited:
JayLapointe said:
There is always the old classic Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people. As a young undiagnosed youth growing up in the 80's/90's I remember thinking I'd struck gold when I got a copy of that book. Despite it's age it was like "here's the secret cheat codes to social interactions". Didn't help me to understand Neurotypicals any better really but it did allow me to fake some level of normalcy in my day to day social interactions.

These days though a counselor like a therapist or social worker or even a Life Coach would be your best bet. I dislike the idea of "life coaches" though. I get that many have good intentions but it seems to me like the folks that couldn't become a therapist or social worker became Life Coaches instead. Reminds me of the old gym teacher joke. "Those that Can, Teach. Those that Can't, teach gym. ".

Now I'm sure I've probably got Life Coaches pegged wrong, and if so I'll happily accept correction from someone with a more informed opinion on the matter.
How to Win Friends and Influence People: Chapter 1 | Dale Carnegie
Click to expand...
I just wanted to come back to say how much this post has helped me already.


It's particularly helped me with misunderstandings and with communicating with my existing friends. It makes me feel like I have more hours in the day because I'm not spending 100% of my time trying to figure people out. It's probably the first time in years I've been able to interact with people and still have some hours left in the day that don't revolve around misunderstandings and communication.

Thank you!
 
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