Is socially awkward a problem?

[Cyanide Lollipop]

I've just finished reading "The Rosie Project". It's a comedy about a nerdy Professor of Genetics who wants to find a wife and goes about it in a scientific way. It is implied that he has AS, although this isn't confirmed. I've read a review about the book and the reviewer wrote "Why does socially awkward, introverted or quirky have to be considered as problems, why can?t we just be happy for people to be different without having to stick a label on it?"

I consider my social awkwardness to be a problem because it prevents me from connecting with people that I am attracted to and it prevents me from doing things that I would otherwise enjoy. What do others think about it?

 

[King_Oni]

Let's put it this way....

Imagine no one was socially awkward and everyone would just step up to everyone all the time without having any restraint.

Reminds me of a few guys I saw yesterday. They were clearly checking out every girl in the streets, commenting on her and if they thought she was hot, they'd walk up to her making pretty offensive and blunt advances towards them. Clearly they're not socially awkward, nor do they have any understanding of social etiquette I guess.

I sometimes feel that because there's people that aren't as outgoing and as "in your face", it's that we actually have balanced social etiquette in a way. Some people are more reserved naturally. And clearly there's a group that's more reserved naturally and not socially awkward *raises hand*.

Social awkwardness might be a good thing to some extent in the sense that it will push people harder to actually go for something. Getting out of your comfortzone to obtain what you want is quite often a good teacher.

There is however the extreme to this, and maybe that's what aspies in general suffer more from. You're either socially awkward to the max or you're not socially awkward at all. It is a problem when people get ill side-effects because of their anxiety and/or awkwardness. Getting depressed because you're getting lonely because you're too awkward to mix in with any humans might be a problem in a sense.

 

[Neat Hedgehog]

To me I think it would depend on if you're actually socially awkward, as in you feel uncomfortable / bad / anxious when in social situations, or if other people just call you awkward because you don't act like a hooting monkey the way they do.

Eventually I realized that I don't really feel particularly awkward in social situations, I just don't like them because they are tiring and often pointless and boring. For years people interpreted my general quietness as being a sign of obvious depression or "shyness" or some other disorder, when I was really perfectly happy to sit around like a bump because I didn't see any purpose to interject into the situation. I once had friends telling me I should go talk to some random girl at college because I thought she looked nice. I said no, because it was statistically improbable that she would actually be interesting and I didn't feel like wasting my time. They thought I was making an excuse because I was "shy," but I really meant it; it is statistically improbable that I will enjoy the company of any given person, and I don't feel it is worth my time to gamble on what is likely no more than a 0.0001% rate of success when I am content by myself.

It is true that I seem to lack a great many social skills that others take for granted, and sometimes I appear "awkward" because I don't know what to do, but if I really want to participate in an activity that requires them I will ask someone what I am supposed to do and then try to simulate that behavior pattern. I really don't see the way that I am "awkward" as being an issue.

However, if this is not the case, and it actually prevents you from doing something that you want to do, then yes, it is a problem.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I've just finished reading "The Rosie Project". It's a comedy about a nerdy Professor of Genetics who wants to find a wife and goes about it in a scientific way. It is implied that he has AS, although this isn't confirmed. I've read a review about the book and the reviewer wrote "Why does socially awkward, introverted or quirky have to be considered as problems, why can’t we just be happy for people to be different without having to stick a label on it?"

I consider my social awkwardness to be a problem because it prevents me from connecting with people that I am attracted to and it prevents me from doing things that I would otherwise enjoy. What do others think about it?

I think you and the reviewer are both right. You are right in that social awkwardness "prevents us from connecting with people that I am attracted to and it prevents us from doing things that we would otherwise enjoy." The reviewer is right in that, if people were more accepting of socially awkward people, if people were happy that others were different, most of the problems associated with social awkwardness would disappear. Because many of our problems are because of people being non-accepting of our social awkwardness-caused quirks.

 

[Judge]

Is it a problem? No. I'd put it more into the realm of a personal catastrophe. Preventing me from living up to my potential and remaining in lengthy periods of self-imposed isolation. It permeates everything in my life, and not for the better.

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

A problem? For me, perhaps.

I don't think I truly fit into the whole 'autism = shyness' as I've gone out and talked to people who I have never met and will probably never meet again. On the other hand, I despise parties, as I just don't really like them unless they're done in a certain way, so I can't really say that I'm socially awkward, just having a hard time talking to other people.

But as for it being a problem? No, I find it to be good, as it spices up the dullness of life and is interesting. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Drake Marino]

I think that whether or not being socially awkward is a problem depends entirely on the person. Although I don't understand it, some people enjoy being isolated and keeping to their self. For me, being socially awkward is a huge problem. I love social interactions, and there have been countless situations where I've wanted to be friends with someone, but didn't have the necessary social/conversational skills to do it. Being socially awkward really hurts my social life.

 

[Peace]

It is just like saying, "I Wish I had More Money", or Bigger Muscles. You don't have a lot of something, OK. Capitalize on what you do have. We all have strengths We don't talk about them often enough.