Is my friend only talking/hanging out with me out of pity?

[buckyboy14]

I became good friends with somebody when I was in 8th grade. He's witty, charming, and smart. I moved back to Missouri after 8th grade to go to high school, and after 9th grade, my friend moved to South Africa. After a few years there, he came back. We are about to start our senior years at (different) high schools. While he was in South Africa, we IM'd on Skype a lot. But the thing is: I don't know if he's really that interested in me as a friend anymore. He came over to my house yesterday, and we did some things, but there were times when we were bored and he didn't seem to be having a lot of fun. I felt like an awful host, and that's when it hit me that I felt he deserved to be around more interesting people, and that he hung around me mostly to make me happy. I had this suspicion before; a lot of it was because I'm usually the one who tries to initiate the conversations on Skype and the one who invites him to hang out and do something. So I don't know if he's just being polite by continuing to talk to me, or if he truly does want to remain good friends. If he doesn't, I don't want to push him to do more things with me, but if he does, I don't want him to think I'm neglecting him by not talking to him as much, even though I'm usually the one to start the conversations anyway. I don't know what to do...

 

[Galaxy Freeze]

I've felt the same way. I only have one close friend right now and she never talks to me unless I talk to her first, it's a bit strange. Her family is very sweet, but I'm sure they think I'm a very strange person and maybe she does too. Lately, we haven't even been talking at all, I don't know where she's been. I had a group of casual friends during my freshmen, sophomore, and junior year. During freshmen year they seemed quite into me and appreciated my company, but starting at the middle of sophomore year and beyond, they just seemed annoyed with me. Senior year is going to start in about a week and I really don't know if I want to keep hanging out with them. My one friend is in the group, but she's almost impossible to talk to without the others butting in.

Maybe you should either talk to him about how you feel. If talking to him does not work you should calmly just step back and try to find new people (that's what I'm aiming to do). Because think about it... is he a real friend if he's just pitying you? You just have to think about those questions and try to get answers from him in an assertive way. If he really isn't your friend anymore and you slowly back down, don't worry about having no friends. If you go to college or out into the real world, you will meet people who are more like you. I too feel like my friends would rather be hanging out with "better/cooler" people or they just think they're too good for me, I certainly am the oddball of the group, no doubt about it. There's no need for you to suffer in confusion like this, so I'd take action right away and remember that there are probably tons of other people you could meet and become friends with.