Is it understandable to have boundaries?

[pricelessppp]

Is it understandable to have some boundaries? Like I don't want to be friends with someone who is clingy & dumping problems on me? Also I don't like toxic braggers like where they expect all their friends to be enthusiastic if not they dump em. Nor do I want to be friends with type misogynistic Incel type men/women. And also I don't like having to feel like I would have to take care of a friend if they're not doing well. And Also I'm not either q fan of hanging out with people who have toxic habits that scare regular people away.

 

[Mia]

That's what life's about priceless, you get to choose and decide the things you want. As for people dumping problems on you, its sometimes good to listen, just in case you want to dump problems on them in the future or help them with your ideas. There's some give and take in friendships. Having boundaries is a healthy thing to know and use.

 

[Isadoorian]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having boundaries. Boundaries are always a good thing, as it lets yourself and others know where your limits lie.

 

[Wolfnox]

I agree. You need boundaries. It helps you and the friend long term.

 

[Tom]

What you mean by 'boundries' is a little confusing. It seems more like a list of personality types you do not like or wish to be friends with.

I think of boundries more like rules or limits you set with people you continue to be friends or interact with.

 

[GadAbout]

I agree with limiting your exposure to toxic people, clingy people, etc., but I found your desire to stay away from needing to help a friend who was struggling to be a little short-sighted. If a friend needs you and you turn away, don't expect that friend to be there for you when, in turn, you are needing something.

 

[Rectify]

Oh my gosh - Absolutely @pricelessppp It's really important to have boundaries. I am about to go away for the day but I'll come back on the weekend and see what advice you get and see if I want to add. I had to learn about boundaries - creating them and keeping them in place - late. It's a great topic.

 

[Autistamatic]

Boundaries are essentials in life, but your last caveat is one that will prevent you from ever having a meaningful friendship.

Taking care of each other is the true test of friendship and of love as well. A friend - a true friend, not a drinking buddy, a team mate, a co-worker or an acquaintance - the kind of friend people hold on to, is someone who listens. If you aren't willing to help someone when they're down then you doom yourself to being alone for all your own crises.

I spend many hours a week helping people I barely know, listening to their problems, offering advice when it's asked for or just being a sounding board. I'm not paid for it - I do it because I don't want people to be unnecessarily unhappy. I want to make a difference to this world and sometimes you have to do it one person at a time. Does that mean I have a huge circle of friends? No it doesn't, but you'd be surprised how many of them have paid that kindness back ten times over.

People are like bank accounts. You have to pay in before you can withdraw, and if you go too far into the red, you get burned.

 

[Aspychata]

Yo dude- it sounds like you are feeling like a toxic waste dump because friends are dumping toxic emotional crud on you. You are feeling like l need to stop this and reinstate my boundaries. Because l am being taken advantage of. Yes, there are emotional vampires that do suck all your energy up. These types, you need to walk away. Boundaries, garlic and crosses have no effect. The stake you need is no contact.

 

[Aspychata]

Boundaries are essentials in life, but your last caveat is one that will prevent you from ever having a meaningful friendship.

Taking care of each other is the true test of friendship and of love as well. A friend - a true friend, not a drinking buddy, a team mate, a co-worker or an acquaintance - the kind of friend people hold on to, is someone who listens. If you aren't willing to help someone when they're down then you doom yourself to being alone for all your own crises.

I spend many hours a week helping people I barely know, listening to their problems, offering advice when it's asked for or just being a sounding board. I'm not paid for it - I do it because I don't want people to be unnecessarily unhappy. I want to make a difference to this world and sometimes you have to do it one person at a time. Does that mean I have a huge circle of friends? No it doesn't, but you'd be surprised how many of them have paid that kindness back ten times over.

People are like bank accounts. You have to pay in before you can withdraw, and if you go too far into the red, you get burned.

Found this interesting. l look to my contacts to discover things about myself and about life lessons and enlightment in a spiritual sense. So l guess l view people as spirtual temples and others as Temples of Doom and the fun is who is hiding their true personality from me. Never thought about people as bankable.

 

[Progster]

Successful and meaningful friendships and a mixture of give and take. A good friend will help you and offer you advice or support, but for the friendship to work, you need to reciprocate. However, a line needs to be drawn between a friend asking for support when needed, and taking advantage of you. When the friend becomes demanding and even abusive, that is when you need to say 'stop.'

 

[pricelessppp]

Boundaries are essentials in life, but your last caveat is one that will prevent you from ever having a meaningful friendship.

Taking care of each other is the true test of friendship and of love as well. A friend - a true friend, not a drinking buddy, a team mate, a co-worker or an acquaintance - the kind of friend people hold on to, is someone who listens. If you aren't willing to help someone when they're down then you doom yourself to being alone for all your own crises.

I spend many hours a week helping people I barely know, listening to their problems, offering advice when it's asked for or just being a sounding board. I'm not paid for it - I do it because I don't want people to be unnecessarily unhappy. I want to make a difference to this world and sometimes you have to do it one person at a time. Does that mean I have a huge circle of friends? No it doesn't, but you'd be surprised how many of them have paid that kindness back ten times over.

People are like bank accounts. You have to pay in before you can withdraw, and if you go too far into the red, you get burned.

I just don't want people to egg me on on how much their disability makes it hard nor am nervous of hearing someone go explicit on his/her problems I'm not a good advice giver. Also am nervous of helping a sick friend. Also am a little nervous of sticking up for someone aka take a punch for a friend or let a friends bully bully me. But most is true.

 

[Creep]

It’s good to know your limits—know thyself.