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Is it normal to want to self harm for mustakes you made in the past?

AspieOtaku

Leader of the otaku legion!
Sometimes i have urges to self harm as self punishment for getting in trouble for stuff, i paid my time punished but it wasnt enough i bit myself and drew blood and scratched my arms. Now finally feel my punishment was fulfilled.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
Sorry to hear this. Somehow pain seems to give you relief from things you are unable to comprehend perhaps? Did you family use corporal punishment alot?
 

AspieOtaku

Leader of the otaku legion!
Sorry to hear this. Somehow pain seems to give you relief from things you are unable to comprehend perhaps? Did you family use corporal punishment alot?
Yes i grew up to getting a beating if i got in trouble for something from school etc after growing up never grew out of it.
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
Sometimes i have urges to self harm as self punishment for getting in trouble for stuff, i paid my time punished but it wasnt enough i bit myself and drew blood and scratched my arms. Now finally feel my punishment was fulfilled.
Normal is a bad word. Exercise hurts, sometimes alot. So it is a form of punishment but it brings about gain. I thinking favorite is digging ditches or post holes. City people will use all kinds of fancy talk about self harm, but I dont know what to say.

I'm a heathen, so scarification is accepted in my faith. So are many other things best kept private, I haven't enough culture in common to say what it means, except that sometimes the spirit thirsts for blood sport. Combat training in mixed martial arts is exhilarating
 

AspieOtaku

Leader of the otaku legion!
Almost considered using a cleaver to lop my pinkie finger off for punishment but a self punch to the face chipping a tooth and biting and scratching my arms sufficed.
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
The healthier path is to punish yourself with more situps, holding a stance until you shake, striking the bag till you pass out, etc
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
Almost considered using a cleaver to lop my pinkie finger off for punishment but a self punch to the face chipping a tooth and biting and scratching my arms sufficed.
You need your hands whole to do all that is needful. Second time I said it today. Dude get out of that house
 
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Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
You should learn to fight! It's fun. You will maybe get more messed up teeth, but that is just the price. Vehicle parts are really expensive, so are decent tools and riding apparel. You dont need teeth to eat soup
 
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Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
Sifu Martinez used to say that the mats were for falling down on, so we wouldn't mar the floors! Fight!
Fight
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
No no please don't. Your normal is not normal. This is something from bad parenting.

I learned to love me, mistakes, errors. There is good and bad in all of us. Can you learn to accept the great and the bad parts of you? Fight the urge to self destruct. Give yourself permission to love u, all of you.
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
Wheelchair lifestyle? Why? You are like a coiled spring, life is waiting. Let yourself grow up, you might just be surprised
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
You might need a mosh pit in your life. Did you ever pound sand? It really is a thing. We used to use cardboard boxes filled with sand. You punch the sand standing up or from a squat, wear gloves
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
We all have to walk our own road, there are many ways to focus the rage, outward in wholesome ways. Also ahem, your blood sugar is likely way off, how about a snack and some water?
 

Skittlebisquit

Just keep trying, victory brings glory
V.I.P Member
That's me projecting my stuff onto others again. When I get wierdly emotional, it is either lack of exercise or malnutrition or sometimes both
 

Au Naturel

Au Naturel
Normal???? I don't think self-harm is "normal" under any circumstances.

BTW, I really hate the word "normal" outside of statistics and geometry.


It is something that becomes a weird fashion. It can circulate thru a school population like a virus. You have a group of kids who have never done self-harm, one of them starts it, and pretty soon half the female population and a small proportion of the guys have done it. It can vanish as quickly as it started.

During the middle ages, you'd have huge bands of people wandering the land and flagellating themselves for their sins. Pope told them to stop and go home and when they didn't, declared it heresy. However, it never completely died out. Father Junipero Serra, the dude who built a bunch of missions and enslaved the Native Americans out here, would start beating his chest with a stone during sermons. The other friars would have to intervene before he did serious damage. It still happens in some religious displays today. Pain seems to have some weird connection to religious ecstacy.

Flagellant - Wikipedia

You need to learn to forgive yourself. Leave the past behind. Blame and fault finding change nothing and no amount of punishment can rewrite history. Guilt doesn't retract prior actions and cutting yourself doesn't correct mistakes. Resolving to be the best you can be and not repeat past mistakes is the only way forward. I screwed up, I own it, and I've got to try never to do that again. Live and learn.

If self-harm for the wrongs of the past makes you feel somehow released from responsibility, then it makes it easier for you to do wrong in the future.

If you hurt someone else, genuinely apologize. It does not matter if they accept it. If restitution is possible, do that. If not, find something else that will benefit the world and find a balance that way.

Take out your anger on a punching bag, if you must. It has the advantage of making you stronger and less attractive to a bully. But my coping strategies might not fit your personality. Most of all I'd suggest talking to a therapist.

Self-injury/cutting - Symptoms and causes
 

SusanLR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I'm really sorry you feel this way.

I was just the opposite. I did my best and never had things I felt guilty about.
If someone whacked me for something I didn't do or I knew it wasn't wrong, well, it never bothered
me. I had a clean conscious.

If you feel you've done wrong, then self forgiveness is the way to move on.
Do something physical that will not hurt your body if you feel you really need to take out
these feelings in a physical way. Lots of good suggestions have been given.

I didn't have the mentally imposed guilt some allow religions make you believe in the
need for self punishment, so I can't relate there.
I guess parents can plant the same ideas in children though.

It hurts me to think you feel this way about yourself. Talk it out with a therapist maybe.
Sometimes that helps you see the truth.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Yes i grew up to getting a beating if i got in trouble for something from school etc after growing up never grew out of it.


So now you are carrying on the tradition.

How does this help you?
Treating yourself the way you were treated as a child.

Surely this is not how you treat other people or animals?

You feel a sense of relief for *paying a debt for 'naughtiness/wrongdoing*
but how does this further your ability to function as an adult?
 

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