Is forgetting a lot an Aspie trait?

[nope]

I'm dating someone who I suspect is on the spectrum, and he seems to forget A LOT.

Is it possibly an Aspie trait, or could he be saying "I forgot" a lot because it's easy? (I used to say "I don't know" a lot because it was easy.)

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I'm not sure if it's prevalent...from a personal perspective though, I have a bad short-term memory. Due to lack of common sense (which I can tell you is most definitely prevalent among Aspies), it used to never dawn on me to set up an efficient reminder system. All I used was post-its - but now someone at work recommended that I use my phone to create electronic reminders, and that's how I started better managing my poor short-term memory. People tell me to never use that as an excuse because, as I have seen, there are ways to manage it like the aforementioned electronic reminders.

My long-term memory is actually the opposite; people are often amazed at how I can remember where and when I met someone, what classes we took together as children, their full name, that kind of stuff. "How do you remember?", or "I'm surprised you remember" is something that I get a lot.

 

[korbin]

I constantly forget stuff. I take in so much information at once sometimes sorting the need to know from the useless is a struggle. I used to carry a notebook with me just to remember things as simple as pick up bread.

 

[nowwhat]

Oh my, yes yes yes, in my case. Bane of my existence. Only things pertaining to my special interests are retained. Everything else gets tossed out of the buffer w/o making it to storage.

 

[Momo]

I call it selective memory. I'll forget to eat but then I'll remember all the most important dates in the Chinese Revolution . Short-term memory, or working memory as it is called in psychology, is known to be either completely absent or underdeveloped in autism and Aspergers, and so means that information will either go to long term memory or just be dropped entirely, though some have slightly better working memories, this is a common clinical trait.

 

[xudo]

I agree with @Momo. I can't remember what programme I'm watching during the adverts, but I can tell you exactly what caused a specific plane to crash in 1998

 

[CoffeeCat88]

My short term memory is pretty bad. My boss will tell me to do something, then I immediately forget and keep doing the normal day to day activities. She probably thinks I'm messing with her, but the thing I am supposed to do completely vanishes from my memory. I only remember when she questions why I didn't carry out the simple task she asked.

 

[Full Steam]

Same here.

Great long term memory.

Almost no working memory to speak of.

I started playing darts, and when I decrease my score on the chalk board I have to write down each number and stage as I cant keep all the numbers in my memory.

 

[Chance]

I'm dating someone who I suspect is on the spectrum, and he seems to forget A LOT.

Is it possibly an Aspie trait, or could he be saying "I forgot" a lot because it's easy? (I used to say "I don't know" a lot because it was easy.)

I had to insert your quote so I could remember what you said.... I am just kidding. : )

However I don't have a bad short or long term memory... Its like I remember every little detail about everything... BUT they get all scattered very quickly, if I don't write them down or mentally insist that I understand that I need this information...

My NOTES on my iPhone are in constant use I have like 35 different categories. One for groceries, supplies, stuff I need to order, names of people I cant seem to stick a face too (embarrassing)... I even have one that has all my really important stuff because when I get really upset thats when I just get all flustered and cant get stuff lined up... I pop open the notes and I have it, and most people don't have a clue what I'm doing so it I hopefully don't look like the fool I feel like.

Not to give him a pass... but I say "I forgot" enough times in the day people probably want to slap me.
They know, and I know I didn't forget... I just have to shut things down in my head to go find it.
Pretty lame excuse, but its basically the truth, or what I understand as a truth.

 

[Sabrina]

I've set a "system" to remember stuff, and I've worked hard on it. But, inspite of that, some of it still falls through the cracks.

I forgot the birthday of the son of a good friend, and her passive agressive answer was: "As always, you, planetary flying in the stratosphere!" It really pissed me off, because I've made a humongous effort to remember that kind of stuff. After almost 20 years of her "joking" about it, I finally asked her not to make those kind of comments, because I didn't like them. Her answer: "what's a friendship for if we can't laugh at each other?" My jaw droped, because I do not laugh at her, ever, it's always the opposite. That friendship started to sink after that.

 

[Suzanne]

I have a terrible short term memory, but a very long term memory.

It is true though, that saying: I can't remember, is an excuse for laziness in not trying to remember and I am horribly guilty of this; mainly when I am occupied.

 

[Judge]

Same here....fabulous long-term memory with a not-so-fabulous short term memory.

Though I'm not convinced this is an exclusive trait of ASD. Though in my own case the age factor may heavily influence the equation.

 

[Ambi]

I'm dating someone who I suspect is on the spectrum, and he seems to forget A LOT.

Is it possibly an Aspie trait, or could he be saying "I forgot" a lot because it's easy? (I used to say "I don't know" a lot because it was easy.)

Yes, he could be. But he might not be.

 

[Bella Pines]

Yes, it's a well documented aspie trait having bad (if not completely absent) short term memory but excellent (but selective) long term memory. Also an occasional trait to have videographic memory.

 

[Alaska]

I'm dating someone who I suspect is on the spectrum, and he seems to forget A LOT.

Is it possibly an Aspie trait, or could he be saying "I forgot" a lot because it's easy? (I used to say "I don't know" a lot because it was easy.)

This is a fascinating thread because so many of us have memories that work the same way. That includes me.

I used to have close to total recall for what happened and what I read, but have had a horrible time getting to appointments and remembering my grocery list. I did solve most of the short term memory shortcomings by using lists and a planner, etc.

 

[Ambi]

It is embarrassing when people ask me what I had for a recent meal or what I did yesterday, over the weekend, etc, because it will take me a very long pause to remember, if I can - I can only do so by trying to remember something, anything, surrounding that topic and see if I can follow that detail to another detail, towards another detail that will lead me to the answer - and sometimes I would still just draw a blank. What I do instead, so as not to make an awkward/strange interruption in the conversation, is that I just make up the answer - I don't wildly fabricate, I just guesstimate what might have been a reasonable thing to assume considering my usual patterns. So that's a lie - but I don't think of it as lying, even though it is a lie - it's just a coping mechanism to deal with my gaps in memory that others wouldn't understand. But yeah, I just forget. I think it's also because I don't consider these things to be important, so I don't make the effort to lodge them in my memory, and there's nothing about them that inherently causes them to lodge in my memory - but I think for people who aren't on the spectrum, they don't have to try - these kinds of things might naturally stay in their memory for some period of time. NAH, I should edit that - because even things that are important just don't stay in my head! I rely a lot on asking other people or looking things up as needed, most importantly, when needed - then I just use the info right then and there, and won't have to store it again. So in that way, I can do things over and over and still have to look up important details - unless I repeat the process enough that it finally goes into my long-term memory. And even then, if there's a long enough period between repetitions, then I forget all about it again.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I call it selective memory. I'll forget to eat but then I'll remember all the most important dates in the Chinese Revolution . Short-term memory, or working memory as it is called in psychology, is known to be either completely absent or underdeveloped in autism and Aspergers, and so means that information will either go to long term memory or just be dropped entirely, though some have slightly better working memories, this is a common clinical trait.

One of my coworkers mentioned exactly that to me; she thinks it's selective memory rather than bad short-term memory that I have. She noticed me remembering only some short term events fairly well, and I had no clue that this was the case. She mentioned that I subconsciously remember only what I WANT to remember. Could selective memory actually be an Aspie trait?

 

[MWS30]

I'm not sure if it's an Aspie trait, but I have that (selective memory).

 

[redpanda8666]

My short term memory isn't very reliable. I can forget my coffee in the microwave but remember obscure stuff even from years ago. I often have to search for stuff which is why I try and have everything kept in a suitable logical place. My memory for names of places etc seldom lets me down, and I keep sharp by doing cryptic crosswords and Scrabble, among other things. Sometimes I do online quizzes to refresh my memory on world capitals, language and so on.

 

[Shawn D]

Yes, it's a well documented aspie trait having bad (if not completely absent) short term memory but excellent (but selective) long term memory. Also an occasional trait to have videographic memory.

My short term memory is horrible. I have to put everything on a list in an app on my phone, or out my brain it goes.
This may be related to the whole "videographic memory". I can remember things by using imagery in my mind of being in a specific place. I associate the task I need to do with being in the place in which I need to do it (or at the approximate time) to trigger remembering to do it. For instance, if I need to remember to take the trash can to the curb when I get home, I'll visualize myself pulling into the garage and attach it to that task. When I pull into the garage, that will trigger the memory to take out the garbage.