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Introducing myself

B

Betty Spaghetti

New Member
Hi there,
I'm a 45 year old woman who struggled most of her life with...life! 😅
I have quite a childhood to remember or better, to forget... And so I thought that many of my issues derived from trauma. I kept doing my inner work but some things just never got better: I 'd have recurrent meltdowns and burnouts (just learning the terminology in the past few months) and obviously my husband or I couldn't understand what was going on... So I kept doing my work and trying to get better at repressing those reactions. My anxiety levels went sky high, when meltdowns happen and create arguments with my husband (I don't really have any friends) I am thinking more and more how life would be so much easier if I wasn't here...

And then one day I stumbled upon "high masking autistic women" and it was like "wait a minute, that sounds familiar!"
And then I am slowly going down the rabbit hole of neurodivergency and finding myself at home!
Finally things make sense and I have names for things that happened all my life and crippled me and made me think I was such horrible person and just broken, not good at this thing called life!

So, in conclusion, I am 99%sure I fit in the Autistic definition and maybe ADHD too... I'm still exploring and trying to understand... While I'm waiting for counselling (again) I am hoping to get on the right direction so I can finally know what kind of help I need (therapy never helped in the past).
I think I am at my wits end and maybe at the beginning of the real journey.
Just trying to find some help out there and some answers. 🙏
 
Welcome, @Betty Spaghetti.

I hope you have a good experience here. It seems like for so many forum folks, the discovery of autism in adulthood did indeed lead to the beginning of a new journey. For me, learning about autism allowed me to finally start living authentically after 40 years of confusion.
 
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Glad to have you with us, @Betty Spaghetti

I can understand where you are coming from, as many can. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if it's mental health or Autism. Trama can still happen, especially when if it's hard to understand the world around us.

In anycase. I'm glad you discovered your ASD. And if you have ADHD, then there are folks, and topics, here that can really help with that. We call it AuDHD here.

Glad to have you here with us for your journey through your new self-discovers.
 
Betty Spaghetti said:
Hi there,
I'm a 45 year old woman who struggled most of her life with...life! 😅
I have quite a childhood to remember or better, to forget... And so I thought that many of my issues derived from trauma. I kept doing my inner work but some things just never got better: I 'd have recurrent meltdowns and burnouts (just learning the terminology in the past few months) and obviously my husband or I couldn't understand what was going on... So I kept doing my work and trying to get better at repressing those reactions. My anxiety levels went sky high, when meltdowns happen and create arguments with my husband (I don't really have any friends) I am thinking more and more how life would be so much easier if I wasn't here...

And then one day I stumbled upon "high masking autistic women" and it was like "wait a minute, that sounds familiar!"
And then I am slowly going down the rabbit hole of neurodivergency and finding myself at home!
Finally things make sense and I have names for things that happened all my life and crippled me and made me think I was such horrible person and just broken, not good at this thing called life!

So, in conclusion, I am 99%sure I fit in the Autistic definition and maybe ADHD too... I'm still exploring and trying to understand... While I'm waiting for counselling (again) I am hoping to get on the right direction so I can finally know what kind of help I need (therapy never helped in the past).
I think I am at my wits end and maybe at the beginning of the real journey.
Just trying to find some help out there and some answers. 🙏
Click to expand...
Many of us were diagnosed late in life, including me. I don't want to bore everyone else by telling my story again, But I have made plenty of post about it. Actually, if you you look up posts, you will find many similar, almost identical life stories. You are in good company here.

We also talk a lot about masking, why and how we do it. I think most of us who masked gave it up (for the most part) because we realized it causes stress and doesn't really work. ADHD occurs in our ranks much more often than the general public (the Neurotypicals), so you are in good stead with that as well. I suspect that therapy never worked for you because most (nearly all) therapists are unable to recognize autism in adults, much less know how to treat or deal with it (you will find I am rather opinionated in this matter).

Welcome to your new family, and learn about yourself.
 
Betty Spaghetti said:
Hi there,
I'm a 45 year old woman who struggled most of her life with...life! 😅
I have quite a childhood to remember or better, to forget... And so I thought that many of my issues derived from trauma. I kept doing my inner work but some things just never got better: I 'd have recurrent meltdowns and burnouts (just learning the terminology in the past few months) and obviously my husband or I couldn't understand what was going on... So I kept doing my work and trying to get better at repressing those reactions. My anxiety levels went sky high, when meltdowns happen and create arguments with my husband (I don't really have any friends) I am thinking more and more how life would be so much easier if I wasn't here...

And then one day I stumbled upon "high masking autistic women" and it was like "wait a minute, that sounds familiar!"
And then I am slowly going down the rabbit hole of neurodivergency and finding myself at home!
Finally things make sense and I have names for things that happened all my life and crippled me and made me think I was such horrible person and just broken, not good at this thing called life!

So, in conclusion, I am 99%sure I fit in the Autistic definition and maybe ADHD too... I'm still exploring and trying to understand... While I'm waiting for counselling (again) I am hoping to get on the right direction so I can finally know what kind of help I need (therapy never helped in the past).
I think I am at my wits end and maybe at the beginning of the real journey.
Just trying to find some help out there and some answers.
Click to expand...
Betty Spaghetti, WELCOME HOME!

There is a statement that is given to young, Gay people who are beginning to deal with their sexual minority status and when they think that suicide is better than being alive. I think it is universal enough of a statement to also include Aspies. It's: "Things get better." THINGS GET BETTER! and they do. You'll feel improvement more and more as you immerse yourself in the AspiesCentral web site. Post and let us all know how things are positively progressing, changing for you over time. Again. WELCOME!
 
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