Interactions with co-workers.

[Mark Smith]

This summer, I started an internship at a gardening company which requires communication with other workers/supervisors in order to complete a task. As I have stated in previous posts, I have been suspecting myself of having high-functioning autism which has made this a living hell. For example, getting to work in the morning to greet people is extremely overwhelming for me as it requires eye contact for long periods of time and maybe a little bit of small talk. Also, there are times where the supervisors will try to start small talk with me which makes me extremely uncomfortable because I usually have trouble knowing what to way during conversations. Also there are times where they’ll make jokes with me; which is also uncomfortable because even I know something is funny, I can’t physically bring myself to laugh for smile which makes things very awkward. These are just a few examples of how my autism can make having more difficult for me, can anyone relate?

 

[OlLiE]

you can script the first few minutes of most conversations:

- greeting
- how are you doing - interact with the data offered / pretend to be interested
- small talk/trivia:
* find out what kind of trivia they are interested in and check the news in the morning
* enquire about things/activities/interests mentioned in previous conversations
* pretend to be interested
- "gotta get to work" - "cya later"

if you realise that you are looking at someone, then it's probably been too long, just don't straight into their eyes, but don't let your gaze stray inappropriately

 

[Progster]

I would try to pay atttention to the conversation they have amongst themselves and see what they usually talk about, and then talk about that or make a comment. Talk about something neutral that you all have in common, such as work.

 

[Bella Pines]

can anyone relate?

I wouldn't say anyone, I would say everyone. This is perhaps one of the most common aspie challenges.

To start with, relax and breathe. That's all.

It is what you make of it. If you see it as a living hell then you will burn out. If you see it as a mild inconvenience then life will be much easier.

So I would suggest revising the scripts that people here can propose. Small talk really is just parroting the same words every day. Practice your "polite laugh" and "friendly smile" in the mirror. Occasionally I find that I have to vary my stock responses. I'm notorious for talking about the nice sunny weather when there's a storm cloud looming...

So just relax and breathe. Look around, try not to overthink too much.

 

[sisselcakes]

This summer, I started an internship at a gardening company which requires communication with other workers/supervisors in order to complete a task. As I have stated in previous posts, I have been suspecting myself of having high-functioning autism which has made this a living hell. For example, getting to work in the morning to greet people is extremely overwhelming for me as it requires eye contact for long periods of time and maybe a little bit of small talk. Also, there are times where the supervisors will try to start small talk with me which makes me extremely uncomfortable because I usually have trouble knowing what to way during conversations. Also there are times where they’ll make jokes with me; which is also uncomfortable because even I know something is funny, I can’t physically bring myself to laugh for smile which makes things very awkward. These are just a few examples of how my autism can make having more difficult for me, can anyone relate?

It's okay to make intermittent eye contact. In fact if you stare into someone's eyes for an extended period of time, it will make them uncomfortable too! And I liked someone's advice about looking close to their eyes. (I think someone suggested that.)

I'm not on the spectrum and small talk drives me crazy too. I have a limited tolerance for it. I just don't care what someone did over the weekend and I don't feel like rehashing what I did. I just want to get back to my work.

So, a suggestion for wrapping up the small talk- after a pre-determined time (in your mind), when the person has finished his/her story (if you can tell when they've finished. Not sure if that's a challenge for you) you can smile, do a final look in/near the eyes and say "well, I'd better get back to work. Have a good day"!

 

[HidinginPlainSight]

This really is one of the most bothersome thing about the working world. I solve it by just not talking to people, but I understand that isn't an option here and even if it were you then have to deal with people coming up to you and making a point about how quiet you are.

If you're interested in keeping the job, and it sounds like you are, let them talk about themselves. People will do this endlessly if you let them. Some will even call you a good listener oblivious the the fact you didn't really listen to many of the words they said. Phrases like, "That's interesting; what else?", "you're right, I never thought about that." or "And then what did you do?", all tend to be winner in small talk with people. Don't get too detailed in your questions. You could catch them talking about something they know nothing about and then you've offended them. Superficial is the key to work interactions.

Most of them really don't care about what you have to say anyways so you don't have to say much. As someone mentioned, mostly just pretend to be interested in whatever they're saying and that will pacify 90% of them. Some may see through the facade, but even then they won't really care.