Inspiring Story of Single Aspie Dad

[Shawn D]

I came across this article on Facebook and it was just the confidence boost I needed, as I am going to be the mother of a presumably NT baby in 5 months and am completely terrified. This gives me hope that I can be a good mother in spite of my tendencies.

http://www.inspiremore.com/father-w...um=social&utm_source=BMT&utm_campaign=partner

 

[toothless]

you can be a good mum,your autism will make sure that child does not suffer from any of the same issues you might have suffered at school [eg, bullying,lack of understanding, being pre judged etc].

i know its not the same thing,but when my sister [whose undiagnosed aspie by the way but has a husband] i thought id be an absolutely crap uncle,im LFA-i cant relate to humans and i live in my own world,im highly selfish,ive also got a lot of challenging behaviors that i worked on avoiding showing around the kids as they grew up so they wouldnt copy and i gradually grew to love them, it feels learnt rather than natural but id do anything for them now and ive got a feeling youll do well to,its always a worry anyway when your a first time mum let alone when your on the spectrum to.
would you find a offline ASD support group helpful to go to?

 

[Shawn D]

Thank you. My biggest hurdle to being the mother I hope to be is perhaps my self-doubt.
I would find an offline support group helpful, but none exists where I live (I looked for one after finding out I have Asperger's.)
I do see a Psychiatrist every other week, which helps me with my relationship.
I am also already a mother, though my 2.5 yo daughter has a syndrome and is severely disabled and delayed. I don't have to worry about "parenting" her per se; she is non-verbal, has a feeding tube, and can't walk, or even crawl. She is, for all intents and purposes, "easy".

Now that we're having a baby who is likely typical, I get to stress about how my parenting will affect her development and the kind of person she'll turn out to be. What kind of example will I be? What if I have meltdowns in front of her? Will it scar her for life? How will I handle the crying, the tantrums? Will she grow up emotionally stunted?
I suppose every parent's have doubts before having a child, but my Aspieness probably amplifies those doubts.
It helps to hear from someone who's had doubts, too. It seems, then, that maybe my intense desire to be a good mother means I already am, even if I screw up along the way.

 

[Butterfly88]

Great article, thanks for sharing. I agree with toothless, you can be a great mom.

 

[watersprite]

You will do all right as you seem to have the right attitude. Up until last year I've been a single parent for a long time (20 years). I knew I was very different from other parents but refused to comply with social norms and expectations; instead I raised my kids the way I deemed best, with the basis for all decisions being: what is the sensible, logical viewpoint and that kids need love. I researched and read and followed my own cobbled together recipe as it were. I was Diagnosed a couple of years ago. It's been challenging at times and always an interesting journey. Take care of your self too - and congratulations.