Insight for dating an Aspie.

[Shn887]

Hello,
I’m NT and I’m in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) with an aspie and I joined this forum to understand her way of thinking better and to know what difficulties we could face and how to work around them.

From the beginning I was aware I had very little insight to how she thinks, and because it’s a LDR communication becomes essential to building the relationship.
I often find myself justifing her sporadic messages with her aspergers, but I don’t know if it truly is or if it’s just a sign of little interest.

Thanks in advance for the insight that I will be able to get from you.

 

[Nitro]

Hi Shn887

 

[Lirazel]

I'm an Aspie and I'm embarrassingly sporadic. I don't know why. I just can't manage my time very well and sometimes I don't know what I want to say or if I should say what I do want to say.

 

[Lysander]

Hello,
I’m NT and I’m in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) with an aspie and I joined this forum to understand her way of thinking better and to know what difficulties we could face and how to work around them.

From the beginning I was aware I had very little insight to how she thinks, and because it’s a LDR communication becomes essential to building the relationship.
I often find myself justifing her sporadic messages with her aspergers, but I don’t know if it truly is or if it’s just a sign of little interest.

Thanks in advance for the insight that I will be able to get from you.

Sometimes HFA (High Functioning Autism) manifests a tendency to lean more on long term memory (memorization) than short term memory (multitasking). Something that helps me in my marriage to a man who has aspergers is creating a routine around interaction. Every day for the last five years I have greeted him as he entered the door, ate meals together without exception if we are both home from work, and drank hot tea in the evening. Consistency and repetition allow us to enjoy these activities as part of the canvas of our life. Maybe establishing a routine, at the same time of day. For aspies, being and staying on alert due to not knowing when or where or how can be a tad daunting. "Good morning" "How was your day" "Good night" ect

 

[Tom]

LDRs are notoriously difficult to maintain for anyone. Tbh I wouldn't put much stock in it.

 

[Michelle Espinosa]

Hello,
I’m NT and I’m in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) with an aspie and I joined this forum to understand her way of thinking better and to know what difficulties we could face and how to work around them.

From the beginning I was aware I had very little insight to how she thinks, and because it’s a LDR communication becomes essential to building the relationship.
I often find myself justifing her sporadic messages with her aspergers, but I don’t know if it truly is or if it’s just a sign of little interest.

Thanks in advance for the insight that I will be able to get from you.

 

[Shn887]

I'm an Aspie and I'm embarrassingly sporadic. I don't know why. I just can't manage my time very well and sometimes I don't know what I want to say or if I should say what I do want to say.

Does that mean that maybe you mean to do something and keep it at the forefront of your mind and then pouf... when you next get to it a few days have gone by and you're like 'how did that happen'?

 

[Shn887]

For aspies, being and staying on alert due to not knowing when or where or how can be a tad daunting. "Good morning" "How was your day" "Good night" ect

I'm not sure if you mean the "Good morning" "How was your day" "Good night" are good or not, I have been sending her those kinds of messages, but if they are overwhelming her and putting pressure on her I'll stop.