Gamma V
Resident ROM Hacker
The Thursday before last (12-14-17), I went with my parents to a bluegrass jam at a friend's house. When I got there, I impulsively just headed into the bedroom of their adult daughter, who is a friend of mine. I was not invited to wander freely in their house and simply assumed that it was alright to go visit with my friend and hang out with her in her room.
Her father, however, did not feel comfortable with a legally-blind and "mildly" autistic woman wandering around his house since he had guns. After being confronted about this by my mother, I felt that I needed to perhaps never again accompany them to any social outings.
In addition, I was reminded of the "I Am Autism" commercial put out by Autism Speaks. Two of the threats "Autism" made involved making social outings difficult and breaking up marriages. My actions have caused tension between my otherwise happily-married parents. I was also reminded of videos of a young autistic boy having to wear a harness with a leash and one person in an online debate regarding the euthanasia of autistics saying that people on the spectrum aren't truly human and are more akin to pets.
The reason I bring up the euthanasia debate is because, ever since having to watch Of Mice and Men in 8th grade, I have had a recurring fear of having to be euthanized upon my mother's death. Every time I seemingly regress to more autistic behaviors and am reminded of my mother's failing health, that fear resurfaces because we can't get me into a group home here in Oklahoma.
Should I isolate myself or allow myself to be placed on a harness. I'm actually afraid that I'm at the point where my autism could worsen. My mother no longer trusts me, and I'm not sure I can trust myself anymore.
Her father, however, did not feel comfortable with a legally-blind and "mildly" autistic woman wandering around his house since he had guns. After being confronted about this by my mother, I felt that I needed to perhaps never again accompany them to any social outings.
In addition, I was reminded of the "I Am Autism" commercial put out by Autism Speaks. Two of the threats "Autism" made involved making social outings difficult and breaking up marriages. My actions have caused tension between my otherwise happily-married parents. I was also reminded of videos of a young autistic boy having to wear a harness with a leash and one person in an online debate regarding the euthanasia of autistics saying that people on the spectrum aren't truly human and are more akin to pets.
The reason I bring up the euthanasia debate is because, ever since having to watch Of Mice and Men in 8th grade, I have had a recurring fear of having to be euthanized upon my mother's death. Every time I seemingly regress to more autistic behaviors and am reminded of my mother's failing health, that fear resurfaces because we can't get me into a group home here in Oklahoma.
Should I isolate myself or allow myself to be placed on a harness. I'm actually afraid that I'm at the point where my autism could worsen. My mother no longer trusts me, and I'm not sure I can trust myself anymore.
