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I'm seeing a girl...

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by OrangeSquash, Dec 2, 2019.

  1. OrangeSquash

    OrangeSquash Member

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    She’s smart, caring, hilarious, cute, loving, understanding (okay, not quite, but she’s trying so hard) and is generally 1,000% lovely.

    She’s a doctor, and this weekend went to London for a single day course. On her way home she had a bit of time to kill at Waterloo station. She wondered about the book sellers and picked up a book on Autism. She flicked through it, read a couple of pages and put it back on the shelf. We were talking last night and she told me about this, and talked about the few pages she read. It was about anxiety – and how we autistics experience a different type of anxiety to NTs. The book dissected going for an exam. It described that NTs would experience anxiety centred around the content of the exam, whether they’d prepared enough, whether they’d have enough time for a second go through the questions. Then it described how we autistics would experience anxiety centred around more practical areas of the exam. Where in the room would I be sat? Is it a new room? How long do I have per answer, what happens if I need the bathroom, how far away the next desk will be.

    She then talked about another page or two about dyspraxia and dyslexia. She had never considered the concept of being interrupted by the sound ones’ own heartbeat, or breath. She had never considered that this could actually happen, or that it happens to me.

    Over the last month of us dating, we have had some very unfiltered conversations about my neurodiversity’s – we have basically agreed that nothing is off-limited, and nothing is meant to cause offence, which is great as its just simple then. But her taking the time to read this, and then discuss it with me later on made me feel extremely special. She has said that she worries that she will never understand me fully, and by that token that we will never understand each other fully – but she is trying so hard to understand me, it makes me feel so loved and appreciated – more than ever before. I kinda felt this when we were talking about it last night, but I didn’t say anything as I didn’t know how to express it, but after writing this here I definitely need to tell her.

    On kind-of the same subject, does anybody have any ideas on books that I could get for her to help her understand me? She has read Behind the Locked Door by Paul Louden – as have I, and found it interesting but I’d like to help her more in the form of books.
     
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  2. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    There's a lot out there, try Jessica Kingsley publishers, they specialise in autism. @Alexej on this forum translated a useful piece of guidance recently, you can download it, though currently it's a draft I think still. @Crossbreed has some useful information on a blog, as does @Fridgemagnetman, and there's all sorts different members here have written too.
     
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  3. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    I've really never read many books on Autism but I can see how they'd be a great resource. Having a book written from someone with Autism's perspective would be awesome to read.
     
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