I'm beginning to think I really don't have Asperger's after all...

[Hurting89]

Yes I have the official diagnosis from years back and it was "re-suggested" by a psychiatrist which is why I got thinking about it again which lead me to this site about a week ago. But I have done some good long hard thinking about this and I believe I truly do not have Asperger's.

I know someone will say "there has to be a reason why you have the diagnosis" but you have to understand they (the people that tested) really had no idea what I had. They said they weren't sure.. But they decided to give me the diagnosis at the time so that I'd qualify for an IEP (individualized education program) as a teen. One psychiatrist said my case was so complex they'd never seen anything like me before.

Why I don't believe I have Asperger's:

I do not have a routine

Zero coordination issues

I do not lack social skills. My social reciprocity always tested as normal (and no it wasn't learned over time). I did not struggle with social rules but was shy.

I do not have sensory issues

I have had obsessions but I'm not entirely sure if those are really true Asperger's natured obsessions when I consider things now.

Symptoms which lead to being diagnosed:

- no friends at school. Bullied badly.

- did very poorly in school. Not motivation to succeed and my writing, math and reading were all very poor. I could barely even spell.

- obsessions

.. And that was pretty much it at that time. I was also tested for aspergers as a child and apparently at that time I was "stimming" but tested normal on the social reciprocity scale so They could not diagnose me with it at that time.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. And neither does anyone else.

I have researched the the possibility of Fetal alchohol syndrome as my mother was an alcoholic but I lacked any of the FAS facial features as a baby or now as an adult (was a normal healthy baby). I just don't know...

I know there is something terribly wrong but I don't think it's necessarily Asperger's.

 

[Ylva]

DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria for Autism

 

[Ylva]

I should add that since Aspergers is not something that is "wrong" to be, you must be correct. Aspergers is not what is "wrong" with you, even if you have it, since whatever is wrong must be wrong in the first place.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I have had obsessions but I'm not entirely sure if those are really true Asperger's natured obsessions when I consider things now.

Symptoms which lead to being diagnosed:

- no friends at school. Bullied badly.

- did very poorly in school. Not motivation to succeed and my writing, math and reading were all very poor. I could barely even spell.

- obsessions

.. And that was pretty much it at that time. I was also tested for aspergers as a child and apparently at that time I was "stimming" but tested normal on the social reciprocity scale so They could not diagnose me with it at that time.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. And neither does anyone else.

I have researched the the possibility of Fetal alchohol syndrome as my mother was an alcoholic but I lacked any of the FAS facial features as a baby or now as an adult (was a normal healthy baby). I just don't know...

I know there is something terribly wrong but I don't think it's necessarily Asperger's.

Well, you're still welcome here!

I can't pretend to succeed where more knowledgeable people have failed with all the data they knew to gather. You are the only expert on you there is...what do you think is wrong? (Rhetorical question.)

Maybe it's time to stop seeking a label and to go with what the body and feelings know? And what things ease the pain?

 

[epath13]

What are your symptoms? You said you think something is going on, why do you think so?

 

[DonRojo]

I can relate to your situation. I have walked the schoes of a schizofrenic. I did not fit the creteria. but they had hidden a symptom in my file and saw no need to tell me apperantly . That symptom, was basically present only in the first in take, it was an interpretation error of the psychiatrist in learning . I was put with my back against the wall, as logical falkeciesvresulted in an unwillingnesd to review to case. That is the first time I ran . Eventually I got pack in the system as my nefroloog noticed I had troible keeping up the intense requirements of a donar organ life. Medicine intake. I went to a day care center and an old retired legend of the place suggested asperger. And after a lead of me, the hospital psychologe dug up the archieves of the first place I was. I turned out to be highly gifted by a test that was terrible poor, and though the official kriteria made no sense to me. I met my first autistic person unofficially in the hospital by accident. Basically a non savant rain man. And I knew, that is me. He does everything i wish I did if i let myself go. He looked like a complete idiot, but I knew, takes youv15 minutes, but if you are not going to ask for help, you will solve your proble. I went to an ofgicial leo kanner house (specialists in autism), for an introduction training. And I revognised bits and pieces of my in all of them. But non of the 'extreemer' symptomes you choice to take as important. Basically, I just think like an autist, but other than that you could tell. And rainman is a brilliant movie with a brilliant actor, but as a neurotypic acter I suspect he has no idea, like many doctors, what the difference between being an 'idiot' and having just a different work approach.

So what is my point. You search is important for you. But also dont stare yourself blind on it. With all due respect with any mental doctor here, your jnowledge level is still at leach level. . Do not pretend you can do what heart surgence etc can. We can theoretical transplant a brain,the russians apperantly did with a dog. Not that long successful if I remember the documantairy. But when it comes to understanding the inside of the brain, it is morebhonest to just accept we are stumbling in the dark.v So yes, you doctors might very well have gotten it wrong. And if it was not for my perfect personal recognition, I would say they still would not have a clue. As somebody suggested, you are the most important opinion. And though I know this is not comen practice, my lesson to my past self would be, visit various sub groups and see if your human mind can recognise. Grin, I am also clearly highly gifted, but I only understand the process by being around those that admitted there secret and I suddenly understood there behavior. Highly gifted people are generally the biggest losers on the planet . Now I am not consider it very likely, but your massive under performance has a lottery ticket chance of a result that you never expected. Othervthan that.....as i noticed you have none of the usual symptomes thatbi alsovdont have. No problem in social behavior would clearly fall for me to. I can only ask you a long shot question. Do you understand the people around you?bNot wanting to use more official lingo. I suspect that if you feel what somebody else is feeling. Feel! not analyse. You are not like me. But as I said, it could be anything. Though the real question is, can you avoid it being a problem. The current medical knowledge is only a primitive crutch. I found simple psychological tests to be more helpful in practical solutions, than something like actual disorders. Finding really solved only one huge problem. I could stop searching.

And though I love a challenge, I gave even myself little chance. But I suspect that when you see, the mind makes the click.I could readveverything i want, but meeting a probable actual narcasist, was an entirely different experience. It is probably why they advce 1e year psychology students not to assume you get every mental condition in the book. . Orva better explanation, we might all shared uniqueness but we only take it serious if it bevomes a problem. (that might lead to a challenger misjudgement though from current mind docyors ). Ifvthey are completely guessing though, I also know double diagnosis go in all directions. It is like a dark room, and then suddenly somebody managed to turnout even more.

I would love, for personal sympathy reason, to try to help. Even split through hours of internet searching. Butbeven i give me little chance. Though I have one more odd ecperience, that might suggest people who might be unexpectedly qualified. A kindergarden teacher was the first to got it right. And though it is not official, it givesva hypothesis to follow. In that way i would adbice to see it as an experiment. Look for a plausable hypothesis and the to, well the reverse of falsefying actually. As I said, i had remarkable good results with meeting and seeing with my own eyes. But I might have had an advantage I am not aware off that is more rare than i reakize .