I'm a little lost

[Larisa]

I feel bad now for typing that, because to be fair on my husband, he has not attacked me in months and he has had plenty of chances to do so, but instead has walked away.

I need to learn when to back away rather than try to push for him to fully understand me. Just frustrating when I am not setting out to be competitive, but he obviously feels I am trying to say I am better than him and thus, hitting back emotionally ie you are in the minority; get used to it and the such!

I have sent him a link for female aspies and so, I do hope he will take a look soon enough! He is actually improving somewhat and so, it just means I need to be the strong one!

I can see that you would rather keep living the way you already adjusted to the world.
I respect this decision for I've been this way when I could not decide if I really want to leave my parents' flat.
I badly hoped they would improve and stop emotionally hurt me and each other.
The worst of it that I was aware I can't cope with so great change on my own but then my friend looking at my situation offered to live with her and her parents for a while - up several monthes.
My friend's parents agreed with my staying so I made it.
Only after that I realized how accustomed I became to constant pressing, mental 'shoving' and 'snarling' of my parents and my mood got lighter just from the loss of this stress factors.
For many years afterwards I have been reading and studying Stockholm Syndrome - because I recognized it in my own behaviour..
It's not impossible to 'cure' myself entirely because the world is everchanging and this is one of a coping instruments for adjusting to sudden changes.
I think the best I can do is to observe my sensations and recognize my intentions and their motives and purposes.