If you could go back in time...

[BryceMcBryde]

i would tell myself not to care how others view me and my condition. As far as important people, certain teachers and my family helped me feel welcome

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Have read so many biographies, of noted scientists who did poorly in school, maybe well only in certain subjects. Then went to university via the back door graduated, then made a major breakthrough which turned into a paradigm shift

 

[tazz]

2 questions from a mom desperate to help her autistic son...
1) If you could speak to your younger self, knowing what you know now about ASD and having the coping skills you've developed over the years, what would you tell yourself to make your life easier?
2) Thinking about those who played a significant role in your childhood, who helped you the most and how?

Lots of good responses already.

I wasn't diagnosed until recently (at age 50). I think the biggest issue that I think about right now is that a lot of my crippling social anxiety was a learnt response at a young age. Teachers and peers at school often laughed at me, excluded me or punished me because I was different. I didn't understand social interaction. The world was a confusing, unpredictable place. My response was fairly healthy in some ways: at first I was upset about it, but then I recall even from the age of about 9 I understood the injustice of it and decided to fight back. I wouldn't let anyone put me down. Never felt I could rely on anyone else so I ended up very independent. This meant I hardened up and achieved a lot. I wouldn't actually change much of that - I really think I might not have achieved so much if someone had told me as a child that I had a "disability".

However, over time, the anger and resentment became the dominant feelings. The social anxiety came from worrying about what other people thought of me. That provoked anger and resentment which is negative. But that in turn spurred me on to do my own thing which is positive.

I think I focused a bit too much on "fighting back" and not enough on "ignore them, just get on with your own life". If I could change one thing I think I'd balance those two things a little more evenly.

By the way, I said that I never felt I could rely on anyone. At the time, like when I was a young kid, maybe up through my teenage years, I didn't appreciate what my mother was doing for me - working, paying for a house, putting food on the table etc. She also made sure I was able to follow my interests - giving me materials and tools to learn with. Books to read. Electronics to rip apart and experiment with. When I look back on it I think she did a pretty good job. She never told me how to live my life - that was very important. She gave me the freedom to follow my own interests and even to the point where she'd let me screw up - and then just be there to help me pick up the pieces.