If you can speak, do you ever wish you couldn't?

[NovaScotia Aspie]

Ever since I was a child, I have wished I was unable to speak. I love language and have a very high verbal reasoning ability but I don't like to talk. I dislike the sound of my voice, for one thing, and it takes me a long time to figure out how to say what I want to say, and even then it usually doesn't come out right. But I often talk compulsively; I feel that if anyone else is around, I MUST speak, even when I don't want to, because my parents and teachers always insisted so much on me speaking up and participating. Since others know that I am able to talk, they have expected me to talk and interact with them even when I really don't feel comfortable doing so. If I say that I don't feel like talking, people disregard my statement, and insist that I "just answer one question," or they think I'm giving them permission to talk at me incessantly. I also find that most people around me just argue with whatever I say, or tell me I'm being "ridiculous" or "stupid". It takes so much effort to interact verbally, sometimes I wish I could somehow lose the ability to speak so that people would give up and leave me alone. Then I could concentrate on my own thoughts and have an excuse to spend more time writing.

Has anyone else wished they could legitimately lose the ability to speak? Have you found other ways to reduce others' demands for verbal interaction?

I was considering making a T-shirt I could wear that says "Don't talk to me today" but I have a feeling I would never stop wearing it

I am totally comfortable in silence . I enjoy conversing with people about my own interests but in the workplace most people don't share the same interests as me . Most people I work with are well aware that I am not much for small talk and since I am very good at my job that is routine oriented , I really don't have to talk that much .

 

[unsurewhattoname]

Quite the opposite. I can speak but have a hard time articulating myself. I wish I could speak better. It's frustrating wanting to say something but not being able to do it properly. My typing is better but I still can't explain everything I want to. And I can't even explain why I can't. This is a pain in the ass right here. Oh well, could be worse.

 

[ancusmitis]

That is quite a good idea. Although I would argue, that atheism does not rule out spiritual endeavors. I know many atheists who are deeply spiritual, but their spirituality is not rooted in religious belief or the acknowledgment of any given deity. Perhaps you could still claim a spiritual need for an occasional extended vow of silence?

Also, I found that most people give up stupid things for Lent. If they couldn't support you giving up something like speaking, which is a more significant sacrifice, then they don't have any depth to their own spirituality anyway. Just sayin'...

I don't think silence would do much for me now as my life is a lot less sociable. Mostly it would affect my ability to get Chinese take-out.

I don't know why I got so little support for it. I felt that everyone else was being very immature.

 

[Naturalist]

In school I would repeat myself, have long pauses, turn away, try to think of a joke, turn red, stand on one foot, forget what I was going to say, I could not speak when more than one person was looking at me. In my thirties I was finally able to express myself without embarrassment. Then I moved to a place where everyone spoke another language and had to start all over. It's probably just as well though, I carry around a sketchbook and pencils all of the time, so people will leave me alone

I wish carrying a sketchbook would be sufficient to get people to leave me alone! I have given up any attempt at drawing in any place where I am not completely alone, it seems as soon as I start to draw someone shoves their face in front of me, asking what I am drawing. I hate that people think art must equal wanting attention, for me it is exactly the opposite, when I draw I want to disappear into my own thoughts.

 

[Naturalist]

I have a feeling if you didn't speak you'd have an equal number of people trying to get you to speak. I like that I speak, it means I can advocate for myself.

Good point! That is definitely an asset, if you are able to do so. My difficulty is that I get too flustered in speaking to be very good at advocating anything, and people see that as an opportunity to argue, because they think they've automatically won if I start stammering.

 

[anne.bc]

I just wish I could think more before I open my mouth. At the rate I get in trouble, it sure would spare me if I didn't speak at all. But I have to speak for a living, and for the convenience of my family and friends.

I'm sure it would make me look better on Facebook, too. I feel neglected on there even though people claim they enjoy my content. I need validation but I'm learning to get over that. It's just not going to happen. "Ain't nobody got time for that", basically.

Honestly if I did stop talking now, it would probably be for attention. Ugh.

 

[AsperDragon]

People say that i am argumentative.....but then those people tend to ask me a question....i answer it truthfully...they appear to be unpleased.....then they tell me that i am wrong in someway.....then i clarify on what they said was wrong.....then they say im argumentative.
Just happened with a therapist i saw until he did this....now im gettimg another therapist.

 

[AsperDragon]

Why dont people realise that i react according to the social situation as i can best understand it....often that means i have to try acting similarly to the wsy other people are currently acting....who knew so many people are out there acting in ways that they find offensive when done to themselves by me. And yet they find no fault in themselves when they do said behavior to other people, including myself....and if i complain about the way thry are yreating me then i am be overly sensitive or i am overreacting or i am misreading the situation...but the one time i do it to them in return then i get punished and their ppperception of yhe same behsvior i didnt care for becomrs reality....

 

[Jonathan Lees]

i love my voice its one of my best features a sexy low grumble (like Barry white or Leonard Cohen), it might be a bit monotonous a times but i love it. there are definitely times i don't want to talk to people though but its not to do with me disliking my own voice. life would be even more difficult if i couldn't talk. i do have sympathy for anyone who struggles with the sound of their own voice however as that would be difficult.