If I Didn't Hold Back...

[janie]

Tight reframe, tree.

Please forgive me. I meant no offense the error must be mine.

I am about to type more, but will send this, so you know I am answering.

 

[janie]

tree,

i am sorry, i intended to send a compliment-

this makes me so ... frustrated aspie sigh

 

[tree]

Please forgive me. I meant no offense the error must be mine.

I am about to type more, but will send this, so you know I am answering.

OK.

I don't know why you are asking to be forgiven, though.

 

[janie]

nice reframe translation: a compliment to recognize another for asking questions or introducing ideas to shift another to see things a new way

 

[janie]

OK.

I don't know why you are asking to be forgiven, though.

Wait.

I thought I got a message that asked me what this comment meant.

My mistake.

 

[tree]

nice reframe translation: a compliment to recognize another for asking questions or introducing ideas to shift another to see things a new way

I know.

How often do you find that people misunderstand what
you want to say?

Or that you misinterpret what they are saying?

 

[janie]

As documented,
OFTEN!

As I have caused offense
without intending to offend
and I am aware I have the capacity
to offend without effort
and it's not something
I want to be good at.

If I sense a signal
that I have offended another
inadvertently,
I have tried to condition
myself to FREEZE
like when we played tag
at recess.

I try to figure out
what I said
or what my face did
or tone
or whatever
that triggered conflict
or
confusion.

I next try to
sort it out with the other party
if possible
and/or at least acknowledge
my misstep.

Miscues may
splash
splatter
when I thought
I caused offense and
learn I did not.

Bleck...
candid share
and talk resources
unnecessarily spilled.
Just that over eager....
Are-We-Good-energy
pisses some people off
or reveals battle fatigue
in others.

There's a element
of paranoia
since my diagnosis.

I want to limit my
mess-making
footprint.

 

[janie]

I try to understand what a person is saying.
I find it is in my best interest, and not
harmful for the other person.

This expresses
so well
a core behavior of mine
also.

You do it kindly, tree.
You do that well here.

 

[tree]

@janie

Is the style/format of the writing in the recent
post for a visual reason?
Or mechanical [due to limitations of device you are using]
Or stylistic/for continuity?

I know that frequently my posts have been compared
with or mistaken for haiku.

I write the way I do, so that it is easier to read.
I have trouble reading very wide spans of text.

I want what I say to be understandable, and I surely
want to be one of the people who understands what
I am saying. LOL

 

[janie]

hi, tree.

You: I want what I say to be understandable, and I surely
want to be one of the people who understands what
I am saying.

Me (if i go too free): icanrambleonmakingtotalandcompletesensetomeinacompellingwaythatchangesmylifesoviscerallyicantastesnickerdoodlecookiesandsmellspinandthatexcitementordespairorwonderorfocuseclispesmeaningintosomethingofashredderbinofrunonsentencesextendedmetaphorsandmisplacedmodifiersthatleadtononwhereoradarkplacethatvacuumsreasonandnoonewantstoreadorhearortrytodecodeanyofthatsoipauseandparesemyresponsesbecauselikeyouiwantwhatisaytobeunderstandableandisurelywanttobeoneofthepeoplewhounderstandswhatiamsayingbuttoooftenisimplydon'tandmyimpulseistocompensatebysayingmoreandwritingmorethatcreatessuchadinofnoisemyeyessquintrecoilandigoquietandhide

This is a place where I risk the open

 

[tree]

"I can ramble on making total and complete sense to me in a compelling way that changes my life so viscerally I can taste snickerdoodle cookies and smell spin and that excitement or despair or wonder or focus eclispes meaning into something of a shredder bin of run on sentences extended metaphors and misplaced modifiers that lead on on where or a dark place that vacuums reason and no one wants to read or hear or try to decode any of that so I pause and parse my responses because like you I want what I say to be understandable and I surely want to be one of the people who understands what I am saying but too often I simply don't and my impulse is to compensate by saying more and writing more that creates such a din of noise my eyes squint recoil and I go quiet and hide"

I make of point of trying to understand.
Some people think that's silly.
People can think what they want to think.

 

[janie]

yes

quite right