pastelanxiety
Member
After suspecting I'm on the spectrum for most of my life, a few months ago I got "loosely" diagnosed with ASD and am working towards a full diagnosis with the support of my GP. My initial visit to the doctor, which led to this, was for what I now believe is autistic burnout (didn't even know this was a thing until it was discussed and I did more research).
On one hand, I feel validated and relieved as I now know I'm not just "difficult" or "cold" as I've sometimes been labelled in the past, but on the other hand I am now experiencing what sort of feels like an identity crisis. I no longer have the energy, nor the drive I previously had, to mask as heavily as before, and it's really starting to mess with me. I don't know who I am without a mask on 24/7. A lot of my autistic traits I've worked so hard to stamp out over the years (out of shame and fear mostly) are now coming to the surface and it's overwhelming. I'm also dealing with others making comments such as "why are you suddenly acting more autistic" and "you've never been like this before" which can feel sort of invalidating.
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar? If so, how did you deal with this? I'm feeling a little alone and lost because I don't really know where to go from here.
On one hand, I feel validated and relieved as I now know I'm not just "difficult" or "cold" as I've sometimes been labelled in the past, but on the other hand I am now experiencing what sort of feels like an identity crisis. I no longer have the energy, nor the drive I previously had, to mask as heavily as before, and it's really starting to mess with me. I don't know who I am without a mask on 24/7. A lot of my autistic traits I've worked so hard to stamp out over the years (out of shame and fear mostly) are now coming to the surface and it's overwhelming. I'm also dealing with others making comments such as "why are you suddenly acting more autistic" and "you've never been like this before" which can feel sort of invalidating.
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar? If so, how did you deal with this? I'm feeling a little alone and lost because I don't really know where to go from here.