I think I should quit this friendship

[NT_tavbabe]

I think maybe I’m a bit too much, the last thing I texted to the aspie manager I wanted to befriend was a bit of an hectic message pleading for answers on our friendship and then I just stopped talking to him to give him space without warning. I couldn’t send another text cause I was already feeling super clingy and obsessed, I guess trying to understand in the process I did too much im not even usually like that, sometimes I don’t talk to people for weeks and it’s cool with me. Same with hanging out, I only get 2 days off and I’ll have even less time if I get that morning job.

I’d planned to apologize (again, cause I can’t seem to chill) and tell him what’s up with my sudden silence and kinda avoidance but I’m starting to think maybe it’s better that I keep my distance and give up, not because it’s hard but because I feel like I’m making things awkward and uncomfortable for him. And I’m also unsure if my feelings are completely platonic towards him, jealously likes to stew in the pit of my stomach and I hate having that feeling for someone I can’t have for various reasons.( I also feel like a repellent for him, like he’s more likely to come by when I’m not at work, )

I don’t know, is it time to let it go? Just kinda move on and let it be given that gold participation star? I’m sure I’ve confused him to the point where he’d just rather not, and I wouldn’t blame him. Especially since I’m such a pessimistic chick with major depression whose favorite catchphrases are about how I’m ready for death. (Yes I say these things outloud at work, life sucks ‍)

 

[Bolletje]

Keep your distance. It sounds like you’re making your manager uncomfortable, and given that your feelings about your manager are conflicted in the first place, that may very well have translated into your text messages. Let this one be. Move on, and find friends that are not in an awkward power balance with you.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Especially since I’m such a pessimistic chick with major depression whose favorite catchphrases are about how I’m ready for death. (Yes I say these things outloud at work, life sucks

How to appeal to your boss.

Lesson 1.

Don't say "I'm ready for death"

Perhaps there is a need to sort you head out before you provide someone with the pain of a toxic relationship.

I mean,once they move house,silently in the night,change their name and become confident you'll never find them...
There may be a touching anecdote they're not horrified to remember.

Using hyberhole here!

All you need to do is pretend your're someone else and read back what
you've written here.

 

[Streetwise]

How to appeal to your boss.

Lesson 1.

Don't say "I'm ready for death"

Perhaps there is a need to sort you head out before you provide someone with the pain of a toxic relationship.

I mean,once they move house,silently in the night,change their name and become confident you'll never find them...
There may be a touching anecdote they're not horrified to remember.

Using hyberhole here!

All you need to do is pretend your're someone else and read back what
you've written here.

why ?when I hear somebody say they have moved house! without telling someone !do I laugh in a slightly unhinged way thinking about the testing of Eric Oldthwaite (ripping yarns) can't say more or I'll laugh in an even more unhinged way!

 

[NT_tavbabe]

How to appeal to your boss.

Lesson 1.

Don't say "I'm ready for death"

Perhaps there is a need to sort you head out before you provide someone with the pain of a toxic relationship.

It’s hard for me to be a positive optimistic person with everything that happens in life, and usually when I say that my coworkers brush it off or tell me don’t say that ( they know I’m not super serious we all joke around and junk) hahah
As for the relationship part in my friendships I’m actually a very positive uplifting person who only wants the best for them, as for a romantic one I’m not dating anymore to keep focus and free. I realized I’m not meant to be tied down to one person so I’m not even thinking about that mess

 

[NT_tavbabe]

Let this one be. Move on, and find friends that are not in an awkward power balance with you.

What do you mean when you say awkward power balance?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

why ?when I hear somebody say they have moved house! without telling someone !do I laugh in a slightly unhinged way thinking about the testing of Eric Oldthwaite (ripping yarns) can't say more or I'll laugh in an even more unhinged way!

Perhaps you could date the OP?

 

[Bolletje]

What do you mean when you say awkward power balance?

A manager is above you in the hierarchy of the workplace, therefore you are not equal and it creates a power imbalance. Plus, your manager has a double role. He has to be professional to you at work, which can create awkwardness when you try to venture beyond a professional relationship.

 

[NT_tavbabe]

Perhaps you could date the OP?

I wouldn’t even date the OP.

 

[NT_tavbabe]

A manager is above you in the hierarchy of the workplace, therefore you are not equal and it creates a power imbalance. Plus, your manager has a double role. He has to be professional to you at work, which can create awkwardness when you try to venture beyond a professional relationship.

Oh! Actually he didn’t mind at first because we did hang out and talk outside of work and it was great, even had a couple of inside jokes while at work.
I just goofed up after a while, and tried to make it right which goofed me up even more.

 

[ksheehan88]

Ah, this sounds familiar. I do this with new people I take a liking to (it doesn't happen often - liking people, I mean).

I've learnt to cut contact completely. I can't control my impulses when it comes to obsessions so I'm better off completely avoiding.

In your situation its a boss so this isn't possible, but I would suggest not having any contact numbers/emails that are not 100% necessary for work. Keep everything professional, only have contact when you need to.

 

[NT_tavbabe]

After talking to my therapist and you folks on here (I needed both) I’ve made my decision to apologize and leave him alone

So thanks! Hope you all have a good week