I realize one reason why I have been so obsessed with past transgressions.

[Metalhead]

Probably it is because I don't get out enough and I don't have enough substantial positivity to focus my brainpower on instead.

Only I can fix that much.

If I want to kick my family out of my head, I need to fill my head with better things to think about.

 

[Judge]

Probably it is because I don't get out enough and I don't have enough substantial positivity to focus my brainpower on instead.

Only I can fix that much.

If I want to kick my family out of my head, I need to fill my head with better things to think about.

I think you are on the right track. Reclaiming some of that positivity may well be relative to indefinitely distancing yourself from more toxic family members. To put yourself in a nicer frame of mind whether you get out or not.

 

[Outdated]

Always focusing on the bad aspects of your life is not healthy, it harms you. You need to be able to not just live with, but to forget those issues. This is what we call "moving on".

As long as you keep living in the past you have no future.

It's impossible to forget if you're still associating with those people, they will keep forcing you to relive the same experiences. A bit like a drug addict trying to kick the habit while still hanging around the same druggy friends. Not going to happen.

Every morning when you wake up you have the opportunity to start your life again - if you want to.

 

[Outdated]

Most people fear change, it's more obvious in autistic people but it's not an autism thing, it's a human thing.

The other fear that holds people back is the fear of losing what they already have in terms of both possessions and established routines. The parable of the monkey with it's hand stuck in the olive jar. It's hand wouldn't be stuck if it would just let go of the olives.

Courage doesn't mean not being afraid. Courage is when you're scared witless but decide to go ahead and do it anyway.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

If I want to kick my family out of my head, I need to fill my head with better things to think about.

I wish you well with learning that. You deserve to feel valued.

I am working to not allow anybody but a select few who are accepting of me to live rent free in my head. I have been triggered to remember my social failures and live in the mind of that hurting young adult that I was. I had to recognize all the ways I overcame that, yet, as happened recently, triggers still happen and requires a resilience that still needs work when I doubt my value.

 

[Nervous Rex]

If I want to kick my family out of my head, I need to fill my head with better things to think about.

I think that's the only solution. If you tell yourself, "Don't think about <some negative thing>", it's going to be all you think about. If you try to think about nothing, your subconscious will choose something random for you.

I usually have a small list of good things to try to think about. For me, it's a light math problem, something I'm writing for my blog, an art project, or a song or poem I'm trying to memorize.

It's literally like the starfish on Finding Nemo - find something that makes you happy and have it ready when you need it:

 

[Metalhead]

I am finding that I have a diminished attention span. I have a hard time sitting down to watch a movie by myself. I have a hard time sitting down to play a game by myself. I find myself more likely to watch movie trailers or music videos on end because they require no attention span and give immediate gratification. Giving up alcohol has made my attention span even shorter.

 

[Metalhead]

I have been reading a novel when I ride the bus to and from work. It helps to replace the tapes of my past failures in life in my head with something substantial and intellectually stimulating to work with instead. Now I think if I can spend less time watching music videos on YouTube and more time feeding my brain substance, it might help.